Hello all. I had the idea for fluffy pony power generation. It seems the fluffy pony has been used and abused for all manner of breeding and milk production. Even reduced to milkbags and in one case the High density Biotoy production facility, where a milkbag was artificially inseminated and the babies automatically collected and whisked away.
In that vein, other than a wolfram sparks comic, I have yet to see fluffies being used to generate electricity, and as such I wanted to explore the topic. Please leave me any feedback and give me an @ if my idea inspired a story or artwork of yours.
"Everyone is aware that the state of the environment is one of ever increasing deterioration at the hands of mankind. The concentration of carbon dioxide in the air climbs and climbs, as well as the smokestacks that put it there, year after year. It had looked like mankind would manufacture its own demise–all for the almighty dollar.
But there was one crazy man with a vision. He remains, to all of us now, as nameless and as faceless as the bum who begs change of you outside the 7-11. To those who knew him, he was a loon, a madman, escaped fresh from the sanitarium. He was a savior to those who knew. And that is why he was ultimately killed. You see, he was poised to completely change the way we produce electricity.
He had a plan, for net-zero carbon emission electricity. Using fluffy ponies. I am dead serious. If you refuse to believe, then that is on you. I can only speak the truth, it is up to you to understand, believe, and bear witness to what I tell you."
The grad student trembled nervously. He gazes out into the audience, and sees some bored and vacant stares. One man is visibly texting. He takes a deep breath, shuffles his note cards, and continues.
“From here on out, will call this man, this visionary, this savior—We will call him Sam. For he was as common as any of us.”
The grad student advances the PowerPoint to the next slide.
“He created the concept for Fluffy pony power.”
A yawn was heard in the crowd.
“As many know, he was unable to perfect the system before his untimely demise. Sam had proposed a system whereby fluffy ponies could be kept in insulated cages, feed and watered by machine, and taught to run in a large hamster wheel. At the time, the cost to heat and maintain the system would outpace the meager electricity gained from a single fluffy pony occupant. This inspired Sam to explore cheaper food sources for fluffy ponies. Of course, they can survive about four weeks on poop alone, and the abundance of fluffies negates any potential worries of depleting the freely available feral stocks. However, a fluffy needs a high protein diet in order to effectively run in the hamster wheel for hours at a time. But protein powders were prohibitively expensive. So Sam turned to the cheapest source of protein he knew. Feral fluffy ponies. It turns out, that with a minimal amount of sugar and MSG, a fluffy will happily eat ground fluffy mush and incorporate the proteins and fats with unprecedented efficiency.”
The presenter took a breath, advanced the slide and gazed across the audience. About half of them were watching, out of morbid curiosity more so than genuine interest, but that would soon change, he thought.
“We have now solved, at least partially, the first problem. Feeding the fluffy. The foodstuff needs to have a high protein and fat content, while also being at least moderately appealing to the fluffy to encourage consumption. The second issue is…”
He advances the slides. More and more people are beginning to pay attention
“…how to motivate the fluffy to run in the hamster wheel. At first, a small smartphone was placed in the pen, which was set to praise and scold the fluffy inside using an emulated mare voice. This increased output by approximately 50 kilo joules within a standard 24 hour observation period. There seemed to be a maximum of about 750 kilo-joules per fluffy per day. This translates to about 8.6 Watts of energy per day. About enough to charge the average smartphone twice. An entirely worthless amount on any industrial scale.”
The student advances through multiple slides demonstrating his calculations.
“Firstly, all toys were removed from the test pens and the resultant power output was measured. Boredom seemed to motivate fluffies to seek entertainment in the hamster wheels. Average energy output increased to 5 Megajoules per day, about 58 Watts per day. However, researchers noticed that fluffies in the test pens would sit idle for about five hours a day on average. In an effort to encourage more exercising, a low dose of testosterone and adrenaline precursors were added to the test group’s mush. Idle time subsequently decreased from 5 hours average to less than 1.”
The grad student beams. The audience is vigorously taking notes and sloppily copying figures without averting their eyes from the presentation. The men in business suits in the back have perked up too. He pauses for a few seconds to allow his prodigies to catch up.
“The next step of the experiment.” he said “was to raise fluffies from foals in such environment. With small modifications, including smaller exercise wheels and rubber teats, which were laced with growth hormones, a set of ten foals were obtained from a local mill. All still had their eyes shut. They were each positioned into their own pens, and allowed to reach full maturity. Since the hamster wheel was the only interactable object in the room, except for the food, the fluffies took a natural affinity to running on it. Average exercise time increased as maturity progressed. Researchers noticed that most fluffies referred to themselves as “wunnie babbeh’s”. By all accounts, these fluffies were happier and more motivated to run. Average energy output was now increased to 125 Megajoules per day–which is 1450 Watts per day. At this point, the system was nearing self sufficiency.”
The student pauses to take a drink of water before noticing that his time was running low, then continues.
“So, the present issues of Food and motivation have been discussed. However, the system needed to be improved to achieve industrial scale. a wire-mesh floor was installed with a door underneath. A vacuum cleaner sucks away the fecal matter and urine. In the next revision, the ground beneath the mesh is inclined towards the collection vessel. To reduce death’s by drowning, the water bowl was removed, and now water is added to the mush, to ensure proper hydration. Work began on adding a mild, fast acting laxative to the mush so that the fluffy would be forced the void in a certain location, but the idea was scrapped due to increased per-unit cost.”
The business man in the back watches with genuine interest now.
“Our Mechanical Engineering student was able to reduce the footprint of the enclosure significantly, from about three-quarters a square meter to less than half a square meter. Together with the electrical engineer, several improvements were made to the system. Since we are running short on time, I will abbreviate their accomplishments. Firstly, the insulation was improved, and better sound-deadening was achieved so to further isolate the fluffies. The end goal is to encourage using the hamster wheel after all–some fluffies during the experiment would try to socialize when bored instead of exercise. Next, the size of the feeding apparatus was reduced, affording the confined fluffy just enough room to do a full circle and turn around. A small sprinkler system was added to each cage, and cold water can be used to clean the cage at will. Preliminary testing suggests at least weekly cleaning is necessary. The wire-mesh was decreased in size as a few chirpes fell through the coarser grating. A location to mount a small camera and microphone was added. Due to construction, a single camera covers the entire pen, although there is a space made available on the opposite side for a secondary camera, if one is so inclined. The camera’s, sprinklers, and autofeeders are all powered by the Seebeck effect. The insulation is so efficient, that the fluffies naturally produced body-heat will slowly warm the cage from 21 degrees Celsius to about 45 degrees Celsius, at which point most fluffies succumb to dehydration and perish. The temperature difference is just enough to power the needed items in the pen. Our computer scientist was able to write a rudimentary system to control all aspects of a single cage, including motivational and scornful messages and subliminal messaging through the screen and loudspeakers. Optimization of the subliminal messaging, as well as both positive and negative reinforcement, driven solely by the energy production metrics, was responsible for modest increases to energy generation from 125 Megajoules to 150 Megajoules per day, or 1736 Watts per day.”
The grad student pauses, takes several quick breaths, wipes the sweat from his head, and continues, frantically.
“Using an energy efficient LED, the sleep-wake cycle of the fluffies has been altered from the traditional 8/16 cycle to a more prosperous 4/20 cycle, meaning, effective light control can reduce the number of hours of sleep the fluffy will naturally take by 50%. Further design improvements to the system would include research into the effects of caffeine on fluffy ponies so as to decrease the time spent asleep. To encourage better production, upwards of 2000 Watts per day, the feeding system could be designed such that the food is only dispensed after an acceptable amount of power has been produced. Further motivational systems could include using the overhead and or the under-head sprayers to spray ice cold water on the fluffy as a punishment for underproduction or for defiance. Now, we have finally reached the point of economic viability. Using only the cheapest food-sources, the fluffy pony can produce enough power to justify its existence. When stacked three high and in rows of six, the fluffy pony can produce a net positive gain of 31.5 kilowatts per day, assuming a modest per-unit production of 1750 Watts per day. This is enough to power the average American house for an entire day. All with 18 fluffly ponies, which could be managed by such a house and even stored in the basement. Of course, the march of science is never complete, and it is the hopes of my colleagues and I that we may perfect this system in the next ten years to give the world the gift of clean energy that Sam envisioned.”
The business men are watching with rapt attention. One man opens his cellphone and mutters something into it quietly, yet hurriedly. The student advances to the final slide.
“Are there any questions?”
The business men were the first to raise their hands.
“Would you be available in the immediate future to discuss continuing your work with Alenix?”
The student’s jaw dropped. The businessman, wasting no time, offers “I’ve got reservations for a booth at JJ’s. The limo outside will take you there if you so wish.”
The student, still lost for words, simply nods his head, mouth still agape. He continues to answer questions from professors and students alike. He was unnecessarily nervous in preparation for this day. Even if he was not awarded his Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering with a minor in Biotoy sciences, he was certain to have a VERY well paying job in the near future. He was anxious to get to JJ’s, the most exclusive club in the entire city of Chicago.
. They say imitation is the greatest flattery tho right?