This is a continuation of the Klondike special by (that1hugboxer)
You are Joe Klondike you are having some of the guys from the security team and the farmhand staff over for a night of Beer ,pizza and classic universal horror films . Everyone huddles their lawn chairs around the old memorex CRTV as you pop a copy of Boris Karloff’s the mummy (1932) into the VHS player. The movie starts and everyone is cutting up, doing voice impressions of the characters or faking over dramatic shocked reactions.
As the night goes keep going back to the pizza on the counter. Until you find that you have eaten an entire pizza by yourself. Pablo one of the guys yells out in a joking manner with his comedically thick and nasally Mexican accent
“ Holy sheet bro!”
You had been accompanying Vicky most of the day as she did a meet and greet with the hugboxer community. You hadn’t eaten all day so to say you were hungry would be an understatement.
“Sorry guys I haven’t eaten anything today. So I’m ravenous.”
Pablo chuckles.
“Hey man you should have said something earlier! Now I just feel like an asshole!”
Pablo pulls out his phone.
“I’m getting some chow delivered! Anyone else want anything!?”
The other guys place their orders and then Pablo turns to you.
“Hey big guy! You want anything!?”
“ I got food here.”
“I Didn’t ask if you had food here! I asked if you wanted anything !”
You sheepishly decline.
“I don’t have any money right now.”
Pablo looks annoyed.
“Man! Do I gotta spell it out for you!?
I got you!”
You decide to get fries.
Pablo smiles.
“Come on man don’t be shy!”
“Pablo I work in exchange to live here. I literally don’t have money.”
“2 plain double whoppers with cheese and 2 large fries it is!”
Pablo sends the order and looks at you.
“If there’s one thing I hate more than a mooch it’s someone who has mooch imposter syndrome!”
“I’d smack you with my chancla if I didn’t need a ladder!”
You look over at the other guy and they are laughing their asses off at the situation. Apparently this is just how Pablo acts.
As the night goes on you change tapes to the next movie Dracula (1931).
You hear a knock on the barn door.
“I’ll get it.”
You open the door and see a girl no older than 16 looking up at you in terror. Trying desperately to get her words out.
“H….here!” She holds out the order .
From her perspective an 8ft6 Frankensteinesq silhouette is staring down at her your face obscured by the shadow of the moonlight cast over the barn. She reflexively recoils back as you reach out your massive hand to take the bags of food.
You notice that her car is nowhere in sight.
“Ms did you walk all the way here from the main house?”
Her eyes grow wide as saucers.
“Would you like me to call someone from the main house to accompany you back to your car?”
The girl nods.
You call up Lorna who comes out in a golf cart.
“I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you both. This is my first time delivering at night.
You smile.
“It’s no trouble at all. I’m sorry for frightening you.”
She seems to relax a little bit.
“Stay safe Ms.”
You re enter the barn and hand out everyone’s orders.
About 15 minutes later there’s another knock at the door.
You open the door and there’s a muscular blonde man wearing a black tracksuit and red sneakers just standing there with a blank expression on his face holding bags of food
“Can I help you?”
The man drops the bags of food and his arm elongates then coils tightly around your neck. You draw your pistol and fire at center of mass.
A deafening BANG cascades across the moonlit property as the 454 casull round tears a hole in the man’s chest. Still the arm remains coiled around your neck. The guys rush out of the barn to help you. Pablo grabs an axe from the barn and cleaves the arm clean with off . The arm around your neck uncoils like a snapped rubber band. It’s only now that you and your guests realize that both the wound on the man’s chest and the arm stump are not gushing blood but slowly oozing a substance similar to gelled corn syrup. The man turns to Pablo and knocks the axe out of his hands then coils his remaining arm around his neck in the same way.
You shove your pistol into the man’s mouth and pull the trigger.
His head explodes like a gelled corn syrup filled balloon , the arm uncoils and snaps back to its original position . The headless body tumbles to the ground.
Pablo coughs.
“What the hell was that!!!”
You take out your phone and call the main house.
“Lock down the house! If you see an intruder aim for the head! Do not hesitate! Do not ask questions! Neutralize on sight!”
“Understood!”
You end the call
You turn to the other guys
“There should be some armalite rifles , an mp5 and a Kel-Tec in the gun safe. They’re semi only and meant for plinking but it’s better than being completely unarmed.
You hand Pablo the hello kitty Kel-Tec PLR16.
“Uh… Big guy? Is this some kind of joke?”
“The mp5 has Elsa on it if that’s more your speed.”
Everyone looks at you. This was the first time you cracked a joke, not just in front of them but the actual the first time ever.
It feels …Good. It feels human. The most human you’ve ever felt.
