The third hibachi story pulled from Deathproofpony’s tumblr.
be a fluffy foal
you got taken away from momma earlier
the mean man washed you and put something on your no-no’s. it hurt badly at first but now it’s numb.
then he put you and brother and sissy and other baby fluffies into a big box
you all get stuck into compartments forcing you to sit on your bottoms straight up with just your heads poking out the top of the box
the compartments are tight… too tight for you to move your leggies
the mean man puts you in his metal monster and after an enternity (read: 10 minutes) he delivers your crate to a big, fancy-looking place
a man with squinty eyes takes the crate and brings it inside
“Very nice fruffy pony. Specimens GOOD!”
“Glad you like them, Yoshi. Any new dishes you’re working on?”
“Hai… flied fruffy pony with soy sauce and spicy vegetable! Oh, here check.”
“Hundred and fifty bucks, right? Perfect. Hey - I’ll have to stop by and try the new dish.”
“Hai! Is very gooooood.”
“You have a nice day now.”
“You fruffy pony… you behave and no clying or make a mess!”
the squinty-eyed man is mean, too. you don’t like him.
he places your crate in the middle of a big room. you smell all sorts of good things to eat and you see humans sitting around having meals
you lick your chops and imagine what sort of good things they might be having
the squinty-eyed man walks away, yelling at someone. “Bob! You no cut vegetable like that! Do like this!”
his shouting makes some of the other foals cry. dummy foals. you’re smarter than them. you don’t cry when some dummy human shouts
you start struggling. maybe… just maybe… you can get free.
you flutter your tiny wings madly and struggle to get your legs free…
you’ve got one out! success!
continuing to flutter your wings, you manage to pull yourself up in your compartment and get your other front leg free
you smirk to yourself. dummy humans! they can’t take you from momma and then hold you against your will! you’re too smart for that!
you pull yourself up from the box, standing on the heads of a couple of other fluffies
“pwease take wiff!” “wahhhhhhhh!” “wan mumma!” “pwease hewp fwuffy!” “chirp chirp!”
stupid babies. they can figure out how to get out on their own. they’re not your problem.
let’s see… just have to run across this table and then right out that door! no problem!
you stick your nose in the air and start waddling across the big table…
whaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT’S HOT! WHY IS IT SO HOT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
the big metal table you just stepped on is burning hot! now you notice some pieces of meat and vegetables cooking on it
and some foals!
you screech and try to run… but the hot metal sticks to your hoofsies! it buuuuuuuuuuuurns!
a few of the humans are now looking over and laughing. don’t laugh at me! I’m smart! you’re dumb! fluffy… fluffy…
FLUFFY IS BURNING!
you continue running all around on the big metal table. exhausted, you make the mistake of sitting down for a few seconds
yeah, that was a bad idea.
first the clip on your no-no’s pops off
then you feel your no-no’s and your poopie place sizzling against the hot metal
yowling, you jump high in the air and land… poorly. you hit a greasy spot of the table and your legs go out from underneath you
your chin and belly hit the hot metal
yowling again, you manage to get to your feet and try to make a break for the end of the table
the flesh from your hoofsies is burning off… your skin is sticking to the metal
“no wan… no wan…" you sob
but the humans just sit there watching and laughing at your antics
the squinty-eyed man returns
"Hai! Fruffy pony! How you get out of box?”
“owieeeeeeeeees! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
frowning in displeasure, Chef Yoshi grabs a wide, flat metal thing and presses it down on top of you, forcing you onto the hot metal
you scream from the pain as your fluff burns away and your skin sears
as you open your mouth to cry for help, the squinty-eyed man pops a vegetable in it… and another in your poopie place! OWWWWWWWWWW!
gagging, you realize he just put a spicy pepper down your throat!
the squinty-eyed man deftly flips you up in the air and you land bottom-first on the metal. once again you feel your poopie place and no-no’s burning
before you can move again, the squity-eyed man is holding you down on the hot metal, back-first this time.
after a few seconds you struggle to your feet. your beautiful, beloved fluff has been burned away. your skin is braised. you’re gagging on a big pepper and another is inflaming your over-stretched poopie place
sobbing silently, you collapse onto the metal, exhausted. the squinty-eyed man covers you with some sort of sweet sauce and cuts your belly open, spilling your guts out onto a paper towel
“Who want new way prepare fruffy pony?”
“I do!” “I will!” cry out a cacophony of voices, their mouths watering with hunger
the squinty-eyed man flips you onto a plate. you feel your life draining away, darkness taking you…
but you’re still awake long enough to watch as a fat, bald man cuts into your tender flesh with his knife and fork, noisly munching away on it
“Delicious, Yoshi. What do you call it?”
“Runaway Foal.”
“I’ll take three more. They’re excellent. And the show leading up to the eventual death is hilarious.”
“You have good taste, sir!”
as your eyes start to close forever, you see the squinty-eyed man grab three more screaming, crying foals from the box and throw them onto the grill
you hope you give the fat guy gas.