“I already told you I ain’t no nerd, old man! Now give me my phone!”
“You’ll get your phone back at the end of the summer ,right now you can Either do another set of pushups or you can play chess with me.”
You are Mike Krakowski and after getting slapped across the face and punched in the stomach yesterday , you still have some defiance left in you.
“My arms are fuckin done man! Ain’t it illegal to use exercise as punishment?”
Drogat ignores you.
Realizing you don’t have much of a choice, you relent.
“Fine I’ll play!”
Drogat still ignores you.
“(Sigh) may I please play chess with ?”
Drogat smiles.
“Yes you may.”
You pull up a seat at the card table .
“Oh what the fuck man?!”
Sitting in drogats lap is a white and orange unicorn fluffy.
Drogat smiles .
“This is Glue, he loves to play chess.”
You are fuming with rage.
“You think this is funny, old man?!”
A sickeningly cute voice askes you a question.
“White ow bwack?”
You look down at the fluffy.
“What?”
Glue repeats the question.
“White ow bwack?”
You have to admit, this is mildly amusing. If nothing else you’ll get to see the shitpig cry when you beat him.
“(Smirk) black.”
Glue claps his little hooves in excitement.
“Pawn to e4 pwease.”
Drogat moves the piece as instructed.
Not bad for a fluffy , but you have a counter.
“Pawn to G6”
Without a movements hesitation Glue makes his move.
“Bishop to c4 pwease”
Confident in your ability to outsmart a biotoy you make your next move
“Bishop to G7”
Glue makes a critical mistake.
“Queen to f3 pwease”
You knew it he’s just a stupid fluffy with no real strategy. Bringing out his queen early like a novice. You played chess with the house keepers back in cali (though you would never admit it)”
“Pawn to e6”
Glue responds with ….pawn to d4?.
“(Chuckle) bishop to d4!”
You take his pawn… but glue doesn’t seem upset.
“Knite to e2 pwease ”
That sonofabitch is pushing you back.
“Bishop to g7…”
Glue makes his next move.
“Knite to c3 pwease ”
You have to make up for lost time.
“Knight to c6”
Glue sniffs up some snot running from his snout.
“Queen to g3 pwease.”
What the hell is this shitrat aiming for?
“Pawn to h6.”
You see Glue’s eyes scanning the board.
“Bishop to e3 pwease.”
You start to second guess yourself.
“Pawn to d6”
Then it happens , you weren’t paying close enough attention but it’s too late now.
“Castwe to c1 pwease”
Crap he’s going after you queen!
“Bishop to d7.”
You can’t believe a fluffy is capable of keeping up with a human .
“Pawn to f4 pwease.”
You start panicking.
“Knight to e7….”
Glue blunders?
“Pawn to h4 pwease”
You hesitate for a few moments trying to find a way out of this.
“Pawn to h5”
Glue twitches his left ear.
“Queen to f3 please.”
You need a plan now!
“Pawn to a6.”
Glue is making a fool out of you.
“Pawn to g4 Pwease”
A burst of moves happen with barely a moment of hesitation between them.
“Knight to a5”
“Bishop to d3 pwease”
“Pawn to c5”
“Pawn to e5 pwease.”
“Bishop to c6”
“Bishop to e4 pwease.”
“Pawn to d5”
“Bishop to c5 pwease.”
“Pawn to b6”
“Bishop to b4 pwease “
“Queen to c7”
“Bishop to d3 pwease.”
“Pawn to g4”
“Queen to g4 pwease “
“Pawn to d4”
“Knite to e4 pwease”
“Pawn to f5”
“en passant pwease.”
“Bishop to f6”
“Knite to f6 pwease.”
“King to f7”
Knite to e4 pwease”
“Rook from a8 to c8”
“Knite to g5 pwease ”
“King to e8”
“Queen to e6 pwease”
“Bishop to d5”
“Bishop to g6 pwease.”
“King to d8”
“Knite to f7 pwease”
“King to e8”
“Knite to h8 pwease.”
“King to d8”
“Bishop to e7 pwease”
“Queen to e7”
“Queen to d5 please.”
“Queen to d7”
“Queen to d7 pwease.”
“King to d7”
“Bishop to f5 pwease “
“King to c7”
“Bishop to c8 pwease “
“King to c8”
“Knite to d4 pwease “
“King to b7”
“Pawn to b4 pwease “
“Pawn to b5”
“Pawn to a5 pwease. Dat am Checkmate”
You look at the board in disbelief.
“H…how ?!!”
Drogat smiles.
“Glue was engineered for an ultimately failed product line called the chess pal .”
You scowl.
“What ?! are you going to rub it in my face that I lost to a fluffy?!”
Drogat places all the pieces back to their starting positions on the board.
“You lost not for lack of skill but because you didn’t take your opponent seriously enough.
I can tell you play regularly , but it’s clear that whoever you’re playing against is letting you win far more than they should.”
You realize that your nanny Tia Tina has more than likely been trying not to bruise your ego.
Drogat gets up and places Glue in his fluffy bed, before returning to the table.
“Let’s make this next game interesting . You win I’ll order you a pizza for dinner , you get to choose the toppings.
But if i win we’ll be having fried bologna and instant ramen tonight.”
You think about it for a moment before agreeing to the terms.
Drogat smiles .
“White or black?”