A/N: So … not going to lie, I like smarties much better than fluffy ponies. Gasp, I know. There is severe genital torture on a Smarty as a main warning. I would have done this to a good Stallion, but I felt this whole thing would have been better to do to a Smarty. I tried to tag this right as best as I could after writing, but … There is a tag limit. If anyone feels certain tags are more necessary, please let me know! I hope that all who read this, get joy out of this!
Your name is Lime, and you were a bright Lime green Unicorn with a highlighter yellow mane and you’re the bestest, smartest smarty! How dare your mummah not allow you to enf her slippers. Many people called your not right now bestest mumma stupid, or they called her a saint for putting up with you.
Right now it is winter and the sidewalk was shoveled already and you were out playing while your dummy mumma was inside cleaning your nono juices off of her slippers and the carpet. It was supposed to be an outside time out until she was done cleaning the gud feels wawas from her carpet. You hopped and pranced around, feeling proud of yourself for showing your not bestest right nao mummah her place.
Then a mare came by, a pretty yellow mare with a white mane and the scent coming from her made your nono stick hard. You pranced over to her. “Dummeh mawe, giv Smartie enfies nao!” The dummeh mare crooked her snout up in the air, in disgust.
“Nu fanks. Babbeh hooman has a bigger nonostick den you wen daddeh changes his baby bwuthas poopeh diapers. Smarties nunu stick is so small nu can hurt a chirpie babbeh.”
She pranced off on a leash as her human was choking on air, at such a burn. “Bro, if you want to,” The human could not stop laughing at all to finish talking. “Get laid, find a different hole to screw. Your mothers slippers do not count.” Lime had to wander how this human knew what he did!? Was he a wizard? He failed to account for the fact he was the neighbor four doors down, and he tried to give this Mare enfies everytime she was on a walk for exercise.
Never mind the fact this human male had the hots for the Smarties adopted mother, and often talked to her, trying to woo and win her over for something serious. It was for this reason why the male did not just punt the smarty and be done with it like a normal, sane man would, house biotoy or not. Lime began to throw a fit, after all he was the bestest, smartest smarty! He huffed and looked around for something to enf, and show who is boss when he saw it.
His mothers gardening hose. That tight, wet hole was inviting to him as some cold wawas dripped out, having been used to wash dead fluffies who froze to the sidewalk while trying to find a place to hide. As any Smarty would do so, he ran over as fast as his little legs would carry him.
“Smarty Liwe giv enfies to hole nao!” Shockingly enough the hose responded back.
… By saying absolutely nothing, how rude right!? Either way the Smarty did what smarties do best, and that is throw a fit and stomp on the dummy until the hose knows who is boss. When Lime was satisfied, he struggled a bit while humping the hose until the snow under it began to form a hill from the movement and gravity and physics be damned, the hose was at the right area, and its dick slipped in.
“Enf enf enf enf enf …” Smarty Lime said, claiming what he stupidly thought was his. “Enf enf enf…” He slapped the hose with his hooves to show it who’s boss. “Enf enf enf … GUD FEELS!” The job was done and the smarty pulled back now satisfied…
Or at least Lime would have, if his dick did not freeze inside of the hose. He bucked his hips back trying to get free and fell on his ass, and by some miracle, right on his testicles.
“SCREEEE!” Lime freaked out from the pain as it got up, his dick hurting from the cold digging into the sensitive skin like knives. He tried pulling away again and the pain was even worse, as if something was tearing.
“WET GO DUMMEH! DIS WIMES NUNU STICK!” Lime began to pound on the hose, desperate to get free and in tears when one hoof, managed to slam just right against the hose and do two things. The first, the metal part of the hose nozzle, while small split his hoof a bit as it started to bleed. The second, because this particular hose was light, economical and the nozzle end was rather small, allowed him to slam that very hoof down on the sensitive tip of his fragile cock, where most of the nerve bundles were.
“SCREEEEEEEEEE! Hah haf … EEEEEEE!” Smarty never felt so much pain before as he fell on his back, trying to protect his nonos with his hooves. This did not work as he thought with his little smarty brain on what he could do. Then for once he had a smart thought, though it scared him.
He remembered his dummeh momma thawing meatballs using wawa. He looked at the faucet and put his hooves on it and tried to turn, however the split in one of his forehooves caused the faucet handle to wedge deeper into the body, hitting some bone. With another loud ‘Scree’ in agony as he shit everywhere enough to cause steam to rise, he pissed into the hose as well and the urine only solved to burn, and …
… The urine was not enough to free his dick due to the angle of the hose.
Lime had to make a decision he realized grimly. Is he going to sacrifice his front hoof to get free? Is he going to get rid of his nono stick and never have gud feels again? Will he wait for mumma or someone to help him? Lime decided to wait, and after many forevers and his tummy growling, he decided nobody would help him, his dummeh mumma must have abandoned him? Really, it was only a whopping 30 seconds he waited, not that these dumb things can keep track of time.
It was now his hoof, or his nono stick. “Huuhuu, wan gud feels. Dummeh hosey wet Wime go!” He tried slamming the hose with both hooves and only proceeded to hurt his junk, and make some of the now cold urine in the hose splosh all over his injured, torn dick. Salt like ammonia urine, wet on an open wound …
“SCREEEEE!!!” Smarty was not gonna get free at this rate. So Lime had to think again, his dick or his hoof? “Huuhuu … gud bai hoofie… nu wan wose you but Smawtie wan gud feels more…”
Lime also realized he was going to have to grab onto the faucet again, and huuhuued in anticipated agony. He reached to grab the cold, iron faucet shaped like an octagon as he felt his hoof split further open to the point he could see the marshmallow-like surface split open near the edge as every feeling of pain flared in his limb. He had to grasp it harder as he swore he heard the metal faucet hit something, which was one of his fragile bones.
“Screeee!!! Haf haf …” He had to pant and hyperventilate a minute, before making himself grab on even harder to the faucet and forcefully did his best with his little meager strength. He vomited a little from not just the pain, as he felt the metal dig into the bones as the flesh near it let out a squelching like sound of it being forcefully parted. First, just a tiny bit of water trickled out of the hose but it was not enough for the Green Smarty to get free.
“Huuhuu…” With another whine, he got it to turn at full force and a sudden blast of ice, cold water slammed him in the tip of his penis like a hammer. The cold did not help in the slightest, as the pain of icy water tore into him, spilling into the slit of his penis. No matter how much he flailed as he fell on his back, shaking with pain that blocked out his other senses.
The ice water was gushing through the tube connected to his penis and right into his bladder. “Huuhuu, dummeh wawa, nu make bestest smawtie have bad ouchie peepees! Dummeh mummah, hewp Wime!”
It was an agonizing two minutes as he tried to get free when he felt a pressure in his bladder, a painful, excruciating icy sharp pressure that made his belly swell and distend and …
It was hard to tell, at least for Smarty, that something ‘popped’ or ‘ruptured’ internally as he blanked out from the pain as he felt himself split open. He cried in agony as he saw the snow turn red and even start to melt from the booboo juice leaking from many places. His bowels no longer had any sorry poopsies, what came out was a mixture of water, blood, and little chunks of stuff he ate that had yet to digest right.
“nu wan die … nu wan die …” He cried out, sobbing in agony as he reached wearily to touch his tummy, feeling some of his tummie sketties popping out.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LIME! IT WAS FIVE MINUTES, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GET INTO!?” He heard his human owner screech out in horror as she called for a friend to help, as he started to drift into unconsciousness …
—
A good six hours later, Lime was sobbing with a Catheter bag and they took his weggies! His momma saved him, but Lime being the Smarty that he was did not want a poopie and peepee bag and tried to keep hitting them. She had no choice but to ask the Vet for his own wellbeing to pillow Lime, so he did not injure himself even worse. This was something Lime could not accept, not that his feelings on his body mattered …
Even worse, the Doctor had to take his noonoo stick as the ice frostbitten it and it was beyond saving. He huuhuued in self pity, as a man, the man who had the dummeh mare who would not let him give her special huggies drove them home.
“Thank you again Bert, I didn’t know what to do…” Her hand was resting on his free one as he held her hand intimately. “Anytime Martha, anytime…”
Lime was too dumb to realize this simp of a dummeh daddy was actually dating his mother for the last few years. What was his name again? Smarty had no time to remember that!
“I was thinking, maybe tonight until Lime went and … fucked my hose, that we could take things even further but…”
“Martha, I can wait. I love you, I mean I love you so much I am willing to tolerate a smarty. I even adopted that annoying, yellow mare so he can have babies later when we are ready.”
They pulled into the driveway as he got out of the car and rushed to her side to open the door like a gentleman. Lime was still processing things as Bert helped Martha out of the car, and picked him up and took him to not his bed, but his litterbox and set it in front of the TV.
“Well Berty, I … I am ready for something serious. How about you treat me like a stallion giving a mare good feels upstairs?” Bert could only swallow as he rushed upstairs, following Martha to her room.
Lime could hear the bed slamming from upstairs as the daddy went to town on his momma. Lime began to cry. It was not fair! Why couldn’t they let him have good feels with the dummeh mare now!? Why does that dummy daddy get all the good feels, and he has to listen and never get to have good feels again!? Even a Smarty like Lime could tell that it was only a matter of time before the man became his mothers forever special friend.
“Wan die … wan die … huuhuu… wan die…”
