The CEO of BusinessCorporationCorp called in his assistant.
“Johnson, our stock is down. We need it to go up. You know what to do.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Johnson went down to the building’s basement, where there were pens full of fluffies. He searched until he found what he was looking for.
“Mummah wubs babbehs, babbehs wub mummah, dwink aww da miwkies, gwow big and stwong!”
Johnson reached in and began scooping up the mare’s foals.
“NU! Babbehs too widdwe fow upsies!”
Ignoring the mother, he carried them over to a nearby meatgrinder and began dropping them in one by one as she could do nothing but watch.
“MUMMAH HEWP!”
“BABBEH TU PWETTY TU GU FOWEBAH SWEEPIES!”
“SCREEEE!!!”
“AM MICWO-FWUFFY, NOT BABBEH!”
“WAI!!!”
Johnson returned and picked up the weeping mare.
“huu huu huu, am wowstest mummah.”
He threw her into the grinder as well and then dialed the CEO.
“Did it work?”
“Yes, our stock is back up again. While you’re down there could you handle the weather for tomorrow’s company picnic as well?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Johnson hung up and walked over to a rack of abuse instruments. He picked up a spiked sodomy stick and then walked over to the pens to find the fluffy that looked most like Rainbow Dash.
…
Author’s Note: The stock market is entirely rational and based on logic and reason.
