One Two Three
Todd counted in his head while he worked. He ripped open the next bag and scanned the UPC number…Seven…Eight…Nine. It was a dress… an extra large black dress.
He held it up to the light to get a good look at it. Twelve…Thirteen…Fourteen
Todd didn’t notice anything off about it. No fuzz, no hair, no rips or tears. He opened it up with his fingers and looked down through the collar. No deodorant stains in the armpits either. Twenty one…Twenty tw…
“Huuu huu huuuu”
Twenty…
“HUUU Fwuffy no wike dawk witta box, nyu mummah! Scawies!”
twenty… Todd had completely lost count. His neighboring co-worker reached down under her table and pulled on the handle to a drawer. The drawer slid out revealing a black fluffy that was shaking in one corner of a litter box, hooves covering it’s eyes. His co-worker reached in and picked the fluffy up and set it gently on her work table.
“There you go little one! Did you make good poopies?”
“Huuu. Yes nyu mummah… Fwuff…fwuffy make good poopies in da witta box…”
The fluffy was sitting up on it’s haunches with it’s head slumped down. It was still trembling from the ordeal. The drawer had made for a tight fit, and with no light inside to boot, it was a fluffy’s nightmare come true. Todd had given up counting and mindlessly stuffed the dress into a clear cellophane bag. He pulled off the double-sided tape and sealed the bag shut, sticking a new UPC label on the bag and sending it down the conveyor.
“Then you were a good fluffy!” His co-worker continued.
“Good fluffied get good nummies!”
The fluffie’s eyes lit up at this new revelation and began clapping it’s pillowy hooves together with excitement.
“Fwuffy wub nummies! Pwease gib gud nummies nyu mummah!”
His Co-worker reached into her pocket and handed the fluffy a treat who didn’t waste any time gobbling it up.
Todd, still distracted by the display, reached over to his bin and pulled out another package. He began his count again.
One…Two…Three. Scan the label. Check the product. Halloween costume. Who dresses as Mr T anymore? Seven…Eight…
“Hey, Todd!” The voice startled him.
Todd, recognizing the voice, pinched the bridge of his nose and pushes out an “Oh hey” through his teeth.
It was Helen, one of the floor managers. She was a nice enough lady, but always a little too chipper first thing in the morning. She was making her rounds to each employee on the conveyor line and letting them know how they were doing so far.
“looks like i’ve got you at 23… that’s pretty low for you Todd.”
Todd grimaced at the number. “Yea, it is.”
Todd had just started working at the Smackazon warehouse not a month earlier. He quickly adjusted to the work and even started to enjoy it. Processing customer returns wasn’t such a bad gig.
Helen frowned and gave Todd a consoling look. “Is everything okay? You havn’t been yourself lately.”
Todd took his eyes off the floor and looked at the screen Helen was holding. 34 items per hour was the minimum requirement, and Todd was nowhere near it.
“Yea… i’m okay… i’ve just… it’s been hard lately.”
Helen knew Todd was working two jobs. The topic had come up before, so there was no need bringing it up again.
“You know if you need to…”
“Mistah nee’ huggies?”
“Fwuffy gib huggies! make bettah!”
Todd shifts his glance up to the black pony sitting on the work table opposite his.
His co-worker, who had clearly been eavesdropping, quickly pushes the fluffy out of sight across the table and gets back to work. “Owwies mummah!”
Helen snickers and puts a hand on Todd’s shoulder. “You know…” She begins “If you need to take a small break, you can spend some time at the PPE station. Maybe pick out a fluffy of your own. Statistics show that interacting with fluffies on the job can increase focus and job enjoyment by up to 20%”
Todd lets out a small laugh breathing out through his nose. “Another time maybe” He says plainly.
Todd had always wanted a fluffy pony. Ever since they were first announced, they had peaked his interest. A talking creature whose entire existence was to spread love and happiness. Who doesn’t want that in their life? Things quickly went south for fluffy ponies. News stories of PETA and soon after ferals in the streets, Todd all but lost interest. The only place he really encountered fluffies was at work anyway. Still, the idea had been picking at him daily for weeks. He just couldn’t seem to muster up the energy. Or maybe he was holding out. Todd wanted a fluffy, yes , but not just any fluffy. Todd wanted his fluffy to be smart. To be well-behaved and nice to everyone. In short, he wanted the mythical ‘good fluffy’.
Todd knew that this was almost an impossible dream as fluffies have been corrupted and twisted ever since their first release. What was once thought of as the pinnacle of bioengineering was now known for such atrocities as “poopie babbehs” and “enfy babbehs.” Rampant cannibalism in herds during food shortages, fluffy mothers stealing foals or even throwing their own babies at predators to escape their own deaths. Because of this, Todd has held out for this long, but maybe today he can finally take the plunge. Smackazon was giving them away as a part of their new research and development to make their jobsites friendlier and less stressful.
Todd looked up to Helen who was passing by. He waved his hand at her until she caught notice. Todd made a hand gesture to let her know he was taking a break, to which Helen replied with a nod and a smile.
“Alright, i guess it’s time to do this”
Throughout the Smackazon warehouse, one can find several vending machines for Personal Protective Equipment. Things like work gloves, safety vests, box cutters, and even replacement lanyards can be found in these machines. All one had to do was swipe their ID badge, make a selection, and pick up their item. One would not expect to find, however, to find the newest addition to the Smackazon line of PPE machines. Sticking out like a sore thumb, and as tall as a soda machine, sat the -Fluffy Dispenser-. It was painted pastel pink and designed to vaguely resemble the ‘shape’ of an admittedly fat fluffy. Todd thought it looked more like a giant pink marshmallow. It had a unicorn horn sticking out at the top, and two small wings on either side.
These new machines came into existence after the critical failure of their predecessor; The Foal-in-a-Can vending machine.
The Foal cans were flawed from the outset, requiring too much physical handling of product. The need to swap out expired stock and to refill the machines with individual cans brought with it a host of unexpected problems. Some machines would run too warm while stocking and trip the cooling element, allowing the foals to be too active and depleting their food supply days before they were supposed to. Other machines had mechanical failures in the conveyor that would deposit the foals due to ruffians terrorizing the stock by shaking the device, or trying to get a freebie. There was even a few documented cases of multiple foals being packaged into the same can…
Todd slowly made his way around to the front of the Fluffy Dispenser. The machine had intentionally been sat facing away from the commotion of the warehouse in order to keep the fluffies inside relatively stress free. In reality, with the two other PPE machines on either side of the dispenser… it kinda looked like it was faced backwards on accident. This, Todd reasoned, was to keep the fluffies from bothering people who were just passing by to pick up some new gloves or a slip cover for their shoes. As Todd swung around to the front of the Fluffy Dispenser, he noticed that the front was made of glass and functioned as a window to see into the machine. Sitting on the floor inside were several fluffies, all sat around one another, and some on top of one another in a sort-of makeshift fluffpile. They were looking up at a monitor that was playing a video on “how to be a good fluffy in the work place.” They all seemed really into it. There was a puppet mascot that resembled a fluffy teaching the other fluffies about safety around the machines and how to not worry about the loud noises. It was all rather… educational.
Apart from the monitor, there was a drain in the corner with what appeared to have a litterbox painted onto the metal flooring. Even the litter was painted on. There was a trough running the entire left side that was split in two. The other side had bunks that were stacked vertically with ramps leading up to each new level. The bunks were lined with blankets and stuffy friends and even huggy toys. There were many painted-on drawings of flowers and grass and sunshine coating the inside… a veritable fluffy paradise that felt…cold and uncaring. Todd noticed one of the fluffies got up from the fluffpile and made his way over to the litter-drain. It was green in color with no unusual markings or traits. It kept it’s attention on the monitor as it walked. It seemed to poke around at the floor with a hoof as if searching for something and yet refusing to look away from the monitor. The fluffy, unsure of where it was exactly, finally broke it’s gaze and glanced at the floor and began to position itself over the drain. It closed it’s eyes and said out loud to itself “Gud fwuffies make gud poopies”
All at once the monitor switched to a cartoony flashing red light and an alarm sound rang out from inside the Dispenser.
a chorus of “Nu!” “Nu sowwy stick!” “Nu wook away fwom teebee!” They exchanged panicky glances until they spotted the fluffy in the corner poised to poop and not looking at the monitor. They called out to him “Fwuffy wook at teebee ow get hewties!” to which it, clearly realising it’s folly, began to cry out. “Nu! Fwuffy sowwy! Jus’ wan make gud poopies!”
The alarm became more pronounced as suddenly a trap door on the side of the Dispenser shot open with a metallic ‘bang’. This set the fluffies into a complete panic. The fluffpile dissolved instantly as fluffies ran to different corners of the dispenser and some to their lower level bunks. The fluffy pooping had shat out in one big push, coating the painted-on litter box with globs of shit. Some of the fluffies had taken notice to Todd and rushed up to the window. They reared up on their hind legs and began to thump their pillowy hooves against the glass pleading for “hewp!” “nu wan sowwy stick!”
Suddenly a robotic arm appeared from the trap door on the inside wall of the dispenser. It stretched outwards revealing several joints connecting arms together in what looked like a bent coat hanger with servos. This thing had clearly seen a lot of use.
A laser flipped on with a loud -POP- and beamed from the top of the Dispenser landing directly on top of the pooping fluffy who had now completely emptied himself all over the floor and wall behind him. His legs began shaking under him as he stood in terror unable to move. The other fluffies cried out more shrill and with more gusto than before. “Wun 'way!” “Huuuhuuu!!” some holding onto each other in desperation. Todd watched as the arm sprang to life, extending out towards the pooping fluffy and and extending a thin but sturdy stick at the very tip. The pooping fluffy, finally able to muster the nerve, began to run from it. The arm sped up and easily caught the fluffy and began to pummel him up and down by twisting the extended stick like a lever.
“HUU HUU OWWIES!! FWUFFY SOWWY! PWEASE NO MO HEWTIES!” The green fluffy was running around the floor, dodging the other fluffies and making a huge commotion.
It didn’t seem to be doing all that much damage, thought Todd. The arm was barely functioning. On a whim, Todd gave the side of the dispenser a hearty SLAP. The robotic arm straightened up and seemed to go into overdrive, beating the fluffy with renewed vigor. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” The fluffy screeched. The arm kept up with the fluffy. After a couple of new whacks, the arm seemed to falter and sputter as if it was coming loose. It suddenly collapsed on top of the fluffy, pinning it to the ground and still wailing on the green fluff. “SCREEEEE PWEASE STOP! NU MOW! HEWP FWUFFY!” The other fluffies all cried and hugged each other, not daring to come close to the scuffle. Soon it became clear that the arm was malfunctioning as the green fluffy was beginning to bleed from the area where it was being hit. Todd gave the side another SLAP… and then another SLAP. Finally the arm stopped. It righted itself and quickly retracted back into the trap door which slammed shut. The fluffies ran to their top bunks, not at all seeming to be relaxed that the event was over. They didn’t run to comfort the green fluffy as Todd had expected, either. New cries of “Huuuuu…huuuu bad poopies! Nu wike!” “Fwuffy scawed!” were heard. All but the green fluffy were on top of the bunks and pawing even more to be on top of one another. Suddenly a new noise filled the dispenser and a new light came onto the monitor. This light was blue, and the noise was familiar to Todd. The unmistakable sound of flowing water.
From the top of the dispenser came a jet of water landing directly onto the poor green fluffy. It began to flood the floor with several inches of water up to a fill line that blended almost seamlessly into the crudely painted scenery inside of the dispenser. The green fluffy, now splashing in the pool of water, was shouting now.
“HEWP FWUFFY! PWEASE FWIENDS! WAWA AM BAD FOR FWUFFIES! Uuuhh HUUUU!!!”
They could only watch on in horror at the spectacle, which to Todd, was an absoulte riot to witness. After all, the water only stood about two and a half inches deep. The green fluffy had been thrashing and splashing the water all over the place which began to mix the poop and water together, making a disgusting slurry of waste water. Cries and utterances of “huuhuu” could be heard throughout the entire ordeal. “Nu kan hewp fwuffy. Am sowwy fwiend! Too scawdey!”
The blue light stopped flashing and the litterbox drain seemed to open entirely. The water began to whirlpool and make it’s way down the drain rather easily. A pink light came across the monitor now with a bar of soap on the display.
“BEWNIES! NU WAN!” another jet from above had nailed the green fluffy, coating the fluffy this time in liquid soap. The soap began to foam up immediately. It got into it’s eyes and nose, causing it to cough and choke and burned at the cuts from the beating it had received moments ago. “KAFF KAFF. NU TASTE PWETTY! SEE PWACES WOWSTEST HEWTIES!” The fluffy finally got the nerver to move and began zip around the floor in a panic. “HUU HUUU! WAI YICKY WAWAS HEWT FWUFFY? FWUFFY AM GUD FWUFFY! JUS WAN GUD POOPIES” It slipped and tripped on the slippery floor , eliciting pained peeps every time it fell down.
The other fluffies were hugging each other and covering their eyes with their hooves at this point. One of them was even suckling on it’s front hoof. The blue light flashed again, only this time it was pulsating. The floor of the enclosure was now covered in soap from the green fluffy running around aimlessly… showing no signs of shit anywhere anymore. A sprinkling of water came down from above this time, less dramatic than the jet from before. It gently rinsed away the soap from the floor and from the green fluffy… who was now sitting on it’s rump hanging it’s head down dejectedly. It was sniffling now, too tired, battered, and bruised to run away anymore. It took the fluffies a moment to collect themselves and make their way back down to the floor area where they exchanged hugs with the beaten green fluffy. “Nu wowwies, fwiend… nu mow wawa hewties.” Coo’s and sniffles were shared aplenty.
Todd, now thoroughly entertained, had been struggling to contain his laughter the entire time. He had been sizing up the fluffies… watching how each one was reacting to what was going on. He wanted to choose a fluffy that he felt could be the good fluffy that he was looking for… and he felt he may know which one.
So… long loooong time lurker here. Been around since the early days of the booru.org
I’ve always wanted to contribute to a fandom i had grown to love, and as such… this is my first story. I have a lot more planned to write, but as probably evident, I like to write veritable books instead of keeping things simple. I 'm okay with this. I hope you all like what this is so far as I have plans for more in the future. Please share with me your feedback so that I may strive to be a better author. Thank you for your time!
