How to talk to your Fluffy - (Artist:Mutagen)

Fluffy Image Self-Posting
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Mine would be disciplined cause I would treat it like my dogs if it gets out of line iymt gets the sorry belt and then sorry cage and if it shits in the house put its face near it and whip em good pointing it out

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note to self: fluffies, unlike cats, would NOT appreciate affectionately being called “big boy fat man” or “bastard”

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God, if I talked to a fluffy the way I talk to my cats it would probably think I hated it lol. I always call my cats fat cunts and fuck faces

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Idk whether I should save this to my abuse or my hugbox folder.

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I don’t typically verbally roast my cats, but I know I certainly confuse the hell outta 'em with the benign stuff I do to them because they’re cute.
It is the price all lovable pets must pay when they have affectionate humans.

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My sister actually named one of her cats ass due to. A smooth ass she has

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I usually call my boy “chunky butt” because he has a pretty chunky butt

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This is perfect, the conflicting messages and the ensuing confusion are the funniest things I’ve seen in weeks! :rofl:

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Neutralbox, obviously. Or weirdbox.

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Hahahaha your cats don’t give any shit what you say to them.

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Then there’s the dogs who still don’t understand everything you say, but have had to pick up on words rather than tone due to having a crotchety-but-kind owner. My great-grandpa apparently had a poodle mutt who loved him desperately and understood words more than tone. You could tell Duchess that she couldn’t get up on the couch in the sweetest, most encouraging, most inviting tone, and she’d just sit there and look up at you obediently. Meanwhile, as soon as great-grandpa got up to go anywhere, she’d look at him questioningly, and he’d glare at her and then grumble “Oh all right then, come on,” and she’d bounce up and follow him around the farm. Similarly, if you glared at her and snapped that yes, she might as well get up on the couch, she’d be up snuggling next to you in a flash.

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Haha, I call my cat a prick, id tell my fluffy the same

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I love this so much. It seems everyone has that cute aggression when it comes to pets they love. This Fluffy is clearly loved.

Since everyone else is sharing, I call my boy Bear a dumb himbo all the time. My dad has caught me going “Who’s my dumbest boy??? Who’s my ball-less himbo?? Who’s my butt muncher??” and then me picking him up to cuddle him (A 90 lb lab). If dogs can feel embarrassment, he has definitely felt it in front of his sisters. As soon as I set him down, he tries to look all macho as his sisters harass him.

I imagine me owning a fluffy would cause the same issue considerably.

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Same hahahahaha

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I know this is an old comment, but I’m genuinely curious whether this is a joke or not. It’s hard to tell on the internet.

Anyway, Muta, your fluffies remind me of Pikachus for some reason, and I don’t fully understand why.

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The slow realization is just adorable tho

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Yes, it was a joke. I say some of the same things to my 2 cats.

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“That’s why it’s so important to teach your ponies from the chirpie babbeh stage that any vulgar remarks on our part are really an veiled show of love.”
A manual for the correct upbringing of dull animals, children and fluffies, page 130

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Heh, I don’t think I’d end up addressing a fluffy the way I do my ferrets - it ends up as “aw fwuffy baby wants a cuddle OW THAT HURTS YOU BASTARD”

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