I Love My Job (DonovanDuBois)

I really do love my job.

Every weekday morning I get up at 6 and take a nice long shower. I think I’m pretty lucky, I get to wear whatever I want to work. After getting dressed I eat breakfast while spending some time with my fluffy Arkos. Once I make sure he’s ready for the day, I finally head out. I’m so glad I get to live with and work with fluffies, I really do love my fluffies. After a short drive I arrive at Forever Home Fluffy Ranch and put on my cute little nametag.

It reads “Donovan - Euthanasia Technician

There are two or three of us at each of the shelters in town. Shelters packed with hopeful fluffies looking for homes, and distraught fluffies who know their time is running out. All the employees at Forever Home Fluffy Ranch really do try as hard as they can to give each and every fluffy their best chance at a long and happy life. The smiling people in the front room help fluffies find happy homes every single day. The hard working vets help sick and injured fluffies recover so that they can have a lifetime of happy days.

I don’t get to help fluffies find happy homes, and I don’t get to help fluffies live healthy lives. I get to help fluffies die.

My first assignment today is an old breeding mare. I heard we got her from a raid on an illegal breeding farm. She’s been pillowed, although it doesn’t look like a professional job, and notably she’s lost her eyes, either from neglect or abuse. She’s an attractive color, a deep sky blue with a silvery while mane. I pick her out of her kennel, her cheeks soaked with tears. She shudders at my touch and pulls away, but she’s too weak to fight.

“Huu, huu. No wan! Bad uppies!”

She cries at me, her voice is hoarse. She’s been crying for a long time. I ignore her for now, carrying her back to my room while she weakly protests. It’s cold, always is in the back, but I have a soft heated blanket laid out on my table for her. I set her down, still weeping softly. Even as scared as she is, she leans against me as long as she can. I can’t imagine how long it’s been since she felt close to anyone.

“Pwease no huwt fwuffy, will hab good babbehs next time, fwuffy pwomise.”

I wince at her words as I finish my preparations, setting out my tools on the table next to the fuzzy blanket. At least she wont be scared of them. I finally get settled and take a deep breath, ready to begin. I try to keep me voice light and friendly.

“Hey there little fluffy. You don’t need need to be afraid of me okay, I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Whewe am fwuffy? Fwuffy nu know anybwody hewe.”

I can’t tell if she’s sad about missing the other fluffies from her mill or just scared of her new surroundings. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s time for my favorite part of my job. I sit down and pull the fluffy close, holding her in a gentle hug. She’s less afraid now, not pulling away, or maybe she just misses the connection.

“You’re home fluffy. I’m going to be taking care of you from now on, okay?”

“Fwuffy home? Fwuffy newer hab housie before, onwy cagie.”

She begins to curl up again, I hug her a little tight, I don’t want her to dwell on that anymore.

“There’s not going to be any more cages. I’m going to take good care of you. There’s only going to be huggies, and sketties, and love from now on. You’re going to be just fine.”

I smile down at the fluffy, petting over her gently.

“I even have a name for you. You’re going to be Skye from now on, does that sound good?”

I’m relieved to hear a soft coo from the fluffy, cuddling with her while she processes her feelings. I reach over to the small plate of warm spaghetti on the table, bringing it to the pillowed fluffy. She sniffles, stifling tears and speaks softly.

“Fwuffy wub Nyu namsie. Skwe hab biggest heart happies. Skwe nu hab huggies in many forewers. No hab sketties since Skwe was wittwe.”

“Well don’t worry Skye, you can have sketti every day from now on. You enjoy that, I just need to give you some medicine. It will make you feel better, okay?”

The fluffy nods at me and begins weakly slurping up the pasta. I continue to pet over her and get the anesthesia prepared; just one little needle and she won’t feel anything else. I wait until she’s almost halfway done, letting her enjoy herself before I give her flank and little pinch. She winces and pulls away, but doesn’t notice the much smaller needle in her other side. I quickly finish the injection and pull the needle safely away.

“There we go, that wasn’t so bad was it? Do you like your sketti Skye? We can have it every night. In fact, why don’t we take a trip to Skettiland, would you like that?”

“Nyu daddeh take Skwe to Skettiwand? Fo’ weaw?.”

I smile while I pet over the fluffy, keeping her close as she finished her last meal. I gently work a thicker needle into her numb leg, starting the process that will inevitably end her life.

“For real my bestest fluffy. Let’s take a nice nap and then we can go together, okay?”

“Owtay daddeh, Skwe wub you.”

“I love you too Skye, get some rest.”

She coos in my arms for a few more minutes, but she doesn’t say anything else. She’ll never say anything else. Soon her cooing stops, and she goes still, finally free to go to Skettiland. I take the needle out and clean the wound, wipe the pasta sauce from her muzzle, and carry her limp body over to a small box. Gently I set down for the last time, giving her a final pet before sealing the box for cremation.

I never get to spend much time with my fluffies, but I remember each and every one. I keep their pictures in an album with their names so that I don’t forget a single one. I may not help them find happy homes, and I may not help them live healthy lives, but I get to make sure that each and every fluffy has a loving daddy who takes care of them for the rest of their lives.

I really do love my fluffies, and I really do love my job.

33 Likes

Oh noes, an actual human being euthanizing fluffies? Heresy!

Great little story, in all seriousness. Bittersweet and straight to the point.

Loved it!

11 Likes

bittersweet but more sweet than bitter :') loved it

5 Likes

This is lovely, sad but so kind. It’s bringing back vivid memories of when we put down my old dog, and how glad I was to be able to make it calm and happy for him.

6 Likes

I am kinda conflicted about the story.
Mostly because it would be a terrible mental burden for the euthanasia technician.
Though there is solace in ending suffering, and doing it in a humane dignified manner.

3 Likes

Sounds like they stay focused on the positive part, being kind and sheltering their fluffies from any stress at the end.

4 Likes

Yeah, but in the end I do think it would get to somebody like that.
Maybe that’s why they got a fluffy.
For emotional support.

4 Likes

Arkos is Donovan’s emotional support just like Donovan is Arkos’ emotional support.

Donovan gets to help sick fluffies sleep peacefully with their owner’s there too, but he really does enjoy helping unloved fluffies feel the love they need in the end.

6 Likes

Everybody needs and deserves some love.
Especially at the end.

4 Likes

I think that even I would choose to do so. I couldn’t really look myself in the mirror anymore if I allowed myself to pick the easiest option if it meant lobbing a bunch of unwanted/dying animals in a damn incinerator.

Besides, showering the town with fluffy ashes might get on someone’s nerves at some point.

4 Likes

Haha, my town does pet cremation. Owners can keep the ashes, otherwise there is a large flower field where they use the ashes as fertilizer.

It’s really pretty, I could see fluffies going to pick the flowers as nummies.

5 Likes

That is actually really nice. In a way, the pets “live on” through the flowers.

3 Likes

I use to work as a veterinary assistant for a while when I was younger. I was the only male there besides one of the vets and the newest employee, so I was made to help with most of the euthanasia cases. It was a balancing act to be apathetic enough to not let the animals and grieving owners see my sadness while being sympathetic enough to show I cared.

Not ever owner was strong enough to be there for their pet’s final moments, I don’t blame them for that. I can’t tell you the number of pets that died in my arms but I can tell you I made sure each and ever one way loved in those final moments. I cried often when I got home from work.

Even this very moment as I’m writing this, my face is streaked with flowing tears at the memories and pain of it all. I still wouldn’t change a thing, I’d still be willing to suffer a small amount for each of them just so they had love and comfort in the end.

I loved my job…I also hated my job.

4 Likes

I had to have my childhood dog put down last year. He was a good old dog, but was getting to sick to live a good life. I stayed the whole time, I needed him to know that he was a good dog until the very end and I never wanted him to feel like I left him.

That experience was my inspiration for writing this I think.

4 Likes

With out any sarcasm or irony : you fucking hero.
You are a better person in that regard then I could be or hell most of us could be.

3 Likes

You captured it well.

2 Likes

Thanks, I guess. I would never call myself a hero for it because at the end of the day they still had to die. :disappointed_relieved: I just couldn’t let them be alone for it.

(Fuck, this really has me on the verge of ugly crying)

1 Like

You were there, that’s what matters.
When they needed somebody the most, you were there.

2 Likes

You didn’t have the power to save them. You had the power to make the rest of their lives as good as it could be. That’s a big deal, man. You did good.

3 Likes

This is how Donovan sees his job.

1 Like