Ignus the Seafluffy [by Maple]

Ignus was a seafluffy. A round, orange ball of fat and greasy fur that floundered around his tank looking for any scraps of food. He lived in the entryway of an office building, being something like a company mascot.

“Hey Ignus, how’s the water today?” An intern asked.

“Wha’?” Ignus replied, wiggling his way to the front of the tank.

“The water, how is it today?” He repeated.

“Da wha’?” Ignus said again.

“The… the water. The stuff you’re in?”

The seafluffy stared at him for a long time, brow furrowed in concentration. “Ignus am… in wawa?”

“…Yes? Did… you not know?”

Ignus slowly drifted to the bottom of the tank, brow furrowed in concentration. Just before his rotund belly could touch the sand his eyes widened in shock.

“WAWA BAD FO’ FWUFFIES!” he screeched, flailing around as frothy bubbles spewed from his mouth.

“Oh shit!” the intern said, looking around for someone to help.

But it was no use.

Seafluffy drowns.


Yeah can’t pass up making this joke while I have seafluffies on the mind.

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I think you’re the first person here to write about a seafluffy drowning

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IMG_0233

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Perfection.

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I swear that one day we will find the 11th commandment buried somewhere in the Middle East and all that will be inscribed upon its stone flat face is “wawa bad fow fwuffy” and a hieroglyph of an upside down horse in a river.

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evergreen

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No, at least one other person posted one before.

I think it was a story about a kid pointing out to fluffies in a natural body of water (either a lake or the ocean) that they were in water.

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Oh there’s absolutely no fucking way. I have seen it, and I can’t have been the first to think of this.

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