As I was driving through town, I had passed one of those “Fluffmart” places where they sell abominable talking “creatures” that breed like rabbits. I had seen them before on social media platforms and TV, and they always seemed to be spoiled brats to me. I figured I would stop by and see what kind of stupid lard ass smartie wants to demand “bestest sketties” as if it would help his case…
I had just gotten my paycheck and might even get one if I think I would have fun “training” it especially because fluffies were in large supply and absolutely abysmal demand due to the countless feral herds where I am.
I opened the door and a petite woman with green eyes and brown hair greeted me in a friendly but slightly annoyed demeanor, I honestly don’t blame her because one of the first things I heard was SBS foals peeping and 2 smarties, each in their own pen calling out to me, the one on the furthest right towards the door, was a monotonous dull blue, and the one in the pen next to it was a sickly flu booger green with a small chunk of shit stuck on its ass hairs…
The blue smartie looked at me with excitement and said something along the lines of “nice mistuh can you be new daddeh for smawtie?”. I said that I will think about it, before moving on. The green one calls out next, “You be new daddeh, dummeh hooman, give smawtie many many skettis or get sowwy hoofies!” I give the green dingleberry dunce a shitty look and move on to the other fluffies, I figured the blue one is adoptable because its not as demanding and seems to be more obedient, but there was another smartie on the other side of the store, it looked up at me while huffing and puffing about its previous owner giving it back and wanting “skettis” and “mummah”. I figured this red freak will do, I asked the worker in the shop to get him for me to take him home, the red fluffy was happy about me taking it but it also was asking about spaghetti, toys, and mares on the ride home.
I got us home and I start unloading the car, carefully picking up the crate containing the fluffy, I bring it inside and open the crate, the fluffy comes out and I tell it its name, I decided to name it Red and it liked the name. “WED WANTS SKETTIS NOW”, I tell him to not demand skettis and that only bad fluffies demand skettis, he huffs and he puffs and says “NOT FAIW”. I decide he is annoying me and tell him to shut up or I will beat his ass with a belt. He goes ahead and shits on the floor saying “No give wed hurties or I give you sowwy poopies”. I decide enough is enough and I unbuckle the belt I have on and chuck it at him and the metal piece hits him in his head “SCREEEEE NO MORE HURTIES WED IS SOWWY NO MORE SOWWY POOPIES”, and he starts to sob, I lock him in the bathroom with my cats old litterbox and tell the fluffy that if he doesn’t use the litterbox I will hurt him again.
So I kinda lost track of time and I went to sleep, completely forgetting to feed the little red shit his kibble, also forgot to let him out of the bathroom too, before the fluffy decides to bust a hole in the door with whatever willpower it had floating around in its pitiful nervous system. The noise woke me up and I was in an irritable mood, I simply had just decided that I was going to kill this fucker and so caught him, he was screaming “NO PLEASE DADDEH NO MORE HURTIES I AM SOWWY” but I didn’t care so I tied a rope around him so he was restricted and then shoved him in a metal bin. I took the bin and welded it shut and then I threw it into a ditch. Good riddance I thought, and I started my work day almost as if the stress from before I even got the fucker was liberated.