Insufferable… by WolfmanRaven (WolfmanShane on Reddit
Joseph opened the door when he heard the knock. A delivery driver had him sign for a box that was delivered from his great Aunt. She would always send him odd stuff here and there. She was eccentric, rich AF, and always thought of him on her travels. She had taken ill this last year. Nothing deadly, but enough to slow down her gallivanting across the globe.
Jo, as he preferred to be called, moved the box into his kitchen/dining room area. He had a small ranch style house. He didn’t really need any more room than 2 bedrooms, a 1.5 baths with a deck and garage. He was quite content. Unbeknownst to him, that was all about to change. The box was marked for Priority 1st class shipping. Auntie paid a good dime for this to be sent to him. Jo started cutting the tape with some scissors, noticing the air holes. He paused. Did she send him a pet? Gods no don’t let it be…
Once Jo finished getting the boxed open he stared down at a blue earthie with a red mane. Jo stood in silence. The fluffy had a muzzle on, eyes soaked with tears and a poop collection apparatus attached to his ass. Jo couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His aunt had actually sent him a fluffy. There was an envelope attached to the inner side.
Jo opened it and read it:
How are you doing? I’m doing better here. Almost back to normal. I have a trip to Nepal in a couple months and I must really go. I’ve never been there! Me, never been to Nepal, I know it’s hard to believe. Anyway, I won’t bore you with the details of my aging body. I’ve always known you to be such a compassionate man. I remember you taking care of that little bunny when you were 6 yrs old after you found it abandoned by its mother. I’ve never forgotten it. Part of my rehab was to host a “Rehabilitation Fluffy.” She was so adorable! Pink with this sun yellow mane. Oh, she was a joy to have and she lifted my spirits so much, I had to share the fun and joy of having a fluffy in the house. I immediately called the nearest fluffy center to you and had them send pictures. I saw this one and it made me think of you. I named him Dillon. I just love that name. My 1st boyfriend in college was named Dillon. Well, I hope you grow as fond of him as I did of my little Nellie, who kept a lonely old bird like me company for a few months. They assured me he would be fed well before shipped to you and it would be same day delivery. Give me a ring soon, Joseph.
Lot’s of love,
Jo stared at the letter, then the fluffy, then back to the letter. FML… he thought. He didn’t hate fluffies, but he did find them insufferable. Maybe it was their voices, their constant babbling, the constant shitting; he was unsure. He did know that he was surprised by this gift from his Auntie. She had a heart of gold, she did. She’d do anything for anyone in trouble. Jo, luckily was a good kid growing up, went to college, taught history to high schoolers. He was a well liked faculty member and teacher by the students. He looked back at the fluffy. It stared at him. Its eyes quivering a little as it shook out of fear.
Jo sighed and picked the fluffy up. He sat him down on the counter and removed the muzzle. The fluffy was silent, but let out a gasp as it inhaled air heavily. It was able to breathe, but the muzzle probably constricted its airway a little. Jo stepped back a bit. He looked the fluffy over. It seemed healthy enough, no signs of abuse or heavy beatings.
Jo knelt down a little bit, getting closer to the fluffy’ side eye level. “Hello. What’s your name, little guy,” he asked.
The fluffy spoke quietly, unsure, “Fwuffy told nyu name is Diwwon. Aw ou nyu daddeh?”
Jo didn’t want to respond right away, but his Aunt bought it for him and he would need to make an effort. He cleared his throat, “Well, yes I am, I guess. Nice to meet you, Dillon. I’m Jo.”
“Nice tu meet ou, nyu daddeh,” Dillon replied, still a little shaky in speaking. Must have been the muzzle on him. Maybe his voice was a little raw.
Jo checked the box and found a layer underneath the blanket Dillon was curled up in. A litter box, fluffy litter, a small box of kibble, water bottle- like the ones for a hamster, but a large hamster, a couple of balls, and a package of blocks. Jo now had to decide where he was going to keep his new pet. Garage? No. His aunt would kill him. He knew they needed some place called a safe room. He wasn’t sacrificing a whole room to an unexpected pet gift. Well, he had a smaller walk in closet in the office room. He mostly had his computer and books in that room. He could move some stuff to the storage area in the top part of his garage. That could be his safe room. He really wouldn’t need much more than that, would he?
Jo picked Dillon up, who snuggled in his arms and cooed a little, although he still had a nervous shake. Jo walked to the spare room and set the box down. He was going to get the safe room set up with Dillon watching so he would know that this space was for him. He noticed Dillon making a face and wiggling his butt a little. Dammit, he probably needed to take a shit. Jo sighed as he pulled the litter box out and started to fill it with some of the fluffy litter. Next Jo was trying to work out how to remove the contraption safely.
He noticed there was a red button and a green button. Jo thought for a second, thinking there should have been instructions. He looked back in the box and found a small piece of paper. The instructions for the “Poopie Place Holder.” Really, he thought, that’s just disturbing.
So the green button was for when it was being applied to a fluffy. The red button was for taking it off. It also stated to place the fluffy in the provided litter box, tell it to always make good poopies in the litter box, then remove the Poopie Place Holder by pressing the red button while holding the small grip handle to maneuver the device out of and away from the fluffy’s poopie place.
Jo kind of snickered a little bit but did as the instructions said. He set Dillon in the litter box. “Now, Dillon. I’m going to remove the device from you, but you need to know that all poopies go in the litter box. Anywhere else, those are bad poopies. D’you understand?”
“Yeah, daddeh. Gud poopies gu in wittabox. Nu bad poopies,” Dillon responded. Jo realized they must go over this with the fluffies at the center before sending them home with their adopted family. Jo reached back and held the grip with his right hand and pressed the red button.
There was a quiet hum and whirring, followed by a “plop” as the device removed itself from Dillon’s asshole. Astonishingly, Dillon didn’t release a torrent of shit in the litter box. Jo, who had leaned back afraid of what was about to transpire, just looked around at Dillon’s back side. For God’s sake he was staring at fluffy’s ass hole to make sure it would poop right, what had his aunt gotten him into?
Dillon stood in the litter box, wide eyed and twitching slightly. He was gasping. Jo surmised the device may not have been all that comfortable with its removal. He waited for Dillon to catch his breath. “Do you need to make poopies, Dillon,” Jo asked.
“Y-yesh, daddeh. Bu poopie pwace huwties,” Dillon whined. His voice was getting a little shrill. Jo let it be as the little blue earthie may actually be in pain.
“Alright, but you need to make good poopies before you leave the litter box, okay,” Jo said.
“O-otay, nyu daddeh,” Dillon responded. He lifted his tail and tried to poop. Dillon grunted and strained. He could feel his poopies, but they wouldn’t come out. “Wai poopies nu com out? Poopie pwace huwt. Pwease meanie poopies, make gud poopies for nyu daddeh,” Dillon pleaded.
Jo, who had started moving boxes out of the closet and getting the safe room set up, chuckled quietly to himself. He peeked back a couple of times watching the little fluffy try to shit. He thought for a second that maybe they didn’t feed him before bringing him here. When Dillon’s ass released a squeaky fart then a loud one, followed by a rancid smell, Jo knew he was fed.
Dillon scrunched his face, tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes as he strained and strained. “Huuu huuuu, poopie pwace make gud poopies….huuu huuu. Pweeease…née…make…poooooOOOHHHH SCREEEEEEE!”
Jo turned with a start as the ear piercing screech of his new pet almost broke his eardrums. He watched as Dillon pushed a big solid turd out. It got caught half way. Dillon scree’d a little more, before finally squeezing a small log out of his ass, which was promptly followed by a massive flow of poopies. These were softer and Dillon stilled cried as his ass tore the litter box up.
“SCREEEE!!! Nuuuuuu poopie pwace stahp! Nu mowe poopies! Nuuuuu,” Dillon screamed. The last of it almost pushing him out fo the litter box. Jo watched it all unfold with a mixture of comedic entertainment and abject terror. What had his aunt done, he pondered to himself.
After the litter box incident, Jo took a wet wipe from his bathroom and cleaned Dillon’s back side. He couldn’t be too upset at the moment, the poor fluffy had a bulbous thing shoved in its ass and had been holding that all in for who knows how long before Jo released him. Dillon huuu’d until Jo wrapped him in his blanket from the box he was delivered in. Jo realized he was in for an adventure. Might as well see what becomes of this.
End Part 1
Hello, everyone. Started a new one. We’ll see where my twisty little mind takes us this time… Peace.