Irish Butter (by recreationalsadist)

Butter was a fluffy.

An earthie fluffy with yellow fluff and a cream-colored mane.

Right now he was begging his 12 year old owner Carrie to save him.

“Pwease widdwe mummah, nu wet meany mistah gibe buwnie-huwties! Am gud fwuffy!”

Carrie gave her father a pleading look, but he just shook his head.

“I’m sorry sweetie, but I need to test my new acetylene torch and I want to do it by burning off Butter’s genitals. If it makes you feel better Butter doesn’t have true sapience so it’s okay.”

“What’s that mean, Dad?” Carrie asked.

“It means Butter isn’t a person so humans can do whatever we want to him.”

Butter continued trying to get Carrie’s attention, why wasn’t she listening to him?

“Buttew am fwuffy! Huwties am bad fow fwuffies! HEWP BUTTEW!”

Carrie considered.

“So he’s just pantomiming intelligence and is actually subhuman? Like the Irish?”

Her father beamed.

“Exactly!”

Butter drooped in Carrie’s father’s grasp, his fluff going limp.

“Wai widdwe mummah nu sabe Buttew? Nu wub Buttew nu mowe? Am Buttew bad fwuffy?”

Carrie finally nodded.

“Okay, go ahead Dad. I can just get a new fluffy.”

Carrie’s father raised his new acetylene torch to Butter’s genitals as Butter flailed his hooves in panic, then turned it on.

“SCREEEEE!!! WOWSTEST BUWNIE-HUWTIES!”

Butter screamed in agony as his cock and balls went up in flames.

By the time Carrie’s father was done Butter’s had been reduced to a somehow still living charred ball of burned grease and singed fluff. He was then thrown away like the trash he was.

.

Author’s note: I had Carrie and her father be bigoted against the Irish for reasons that include not being able to think of a name for this story otherwise.

In real life bigotry is bad and wrong and you shouldn’t do it.

13 Likes

That’s a shame. I was looking forward to whatever convenient, comedic contrivance would make them racist.

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Also could have given a detail or two of him cooking before he charred and called it “browning butter”

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What? I thought everyone loved the Irish.

Well, except the Irish, boy do they hate the Irish

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“The greatest evil we have to face is…the moral evil of the selfish, perverse and turbulent character of the Irish people.”
-Charles Trevelyan

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“Browning Butter” would have been a better title. Maybe I’ll do another story with that title.

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Really? Casual racism?
Get out, you don’t belong here.

Come back when you’re ready for ranked racism.

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I, for one, find the idea of someone deliberately breeding grotesque horse-human-pig creatures with Gaelic accents, for, say, the UK market, to be close to unimaginable :thinking:
Oh, wait, that would just be Irish localization

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(and my ethnic background is: Scotch, Irish, and English; French and German; and Swedish and Dutch… basically all the genes inside me historically hate each other :shrug: )

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