Gary answered the knock at his door. It was his neighbor Stan.
“Hi, my fence broke and a feral fluffy got through, could I borrow your ball-peen hammer?”
“Sure, let me go get it for you.”
Gary went and got his ball-peen hammer and handed it to Stan.
Thanks to their opposable thumbs humans have an easier time using tools. Suck it, dolphins!
…
Pogo was a fluffy. A pegasus fluffy.
Hoomins were so meanie, they kept good nummies behind fencies so good fluffies like Pogo couldn’t get at them. Fluffies were for huggies and love and they needed nummies.
Pogo was rooting through the plant-nummies he’d found when a hoomin entered the garden.
“Leave my garden now, I need to fix the hole in my fence. This is your one and only chance.”
Pogo puffed up his cheeks.
“NU! Need dese nummies fow speciew-fwiend. Speciaw-fwiend am soon-mummah!”
Stan sighed.
“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
…
Gary heard the sound of a fluffy screaming. He ran out to see that Stan was using the hammer he’d borrowed to pulverize a fluffy’s penis and testicles.
“What are you doing with my hammer?!”
Stan looked confused.
“It’s a ball-peen hammer, right? So it’s for smashing balls and penises.”
“Why would you think that?!”
Stan the maybe human tried to think of an excuse that would work but couldn’t come up with one.
So he just whacked Pogo’s genitals one last time and threw him over the fence with a tentacle.
…
Pogo limped back to the alley his special-friend was in while crying.
He got there to discover that she was on fire.
Josef Mongola wrote in his notebook.
“Interesting, fluffies don’t like being set on fire. Yes, this is very good science I am doing.”
Pogo felt a hoof on his back, then he was pushed onto the ground.
“Cwimson am going to cowe yu wike an appwe.”
…
Author’s note: I’m not high, Josef and Crimson belong to @BFM101 , and dolphins are overrated.
