It's not Sketti Day! (by recreationalsadist)

Jerry had a fluffy named Fred. He took excellent care of him.

Every Sunday was ‘Sketti Day,’ where Fred got to eat spaghetti. Jerry wanted Fred to know when that day was so he got him a calendar and put a red dot on each Sunday on it. Each day that passed he put a black X on that day so Fred would know how many days until the next Sketti Day.

Fred knew the days with red dots on them were the ones he got spaghetti. He loved spaghetti, it was his favorite food.

One day Jerry came home to find Fred asking for spaghetti. It was only Saturday, so he was confused why Fred was asking for spaghetti.

Jerry walked over to the calendar and saw that Fred had used a tube of Jerry’s ex-girlfriend’s lipstick to put a red dot on every day on the calendar.

Jerry was upset over his fluffy’s dishonesty and being reminded that his girlfriend had broken up with him, so he picked Fred up and threw him in the fireplace, where he was burned to death.

After death Fred’s soul drifted up to the gates of the afterlife for good fluffies (of which there were very few) called Skettiland. There he met Fluffy Saint Peter (whose existence lacks any theological grounding) and an extremely angry man in a funny outfit who did a dance to welcome him.

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Oops.

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Poor little bugger didn’t unserstand, as far as he knew the dots were good and more of them would be better…

“This one’s here for Gluttony, that’s literally a sin.”

“Dummeh Monguwa nu make choosies, dis am gud Fwuffy, wet him in… An du da dancies pwopawy dis time.”

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“What about all those alicorns you sent to Sorryland?!”
“Dose nu wewe fwuffies, dey wewe munstahs!”

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Josef squints his eyes and looks at Fluffy St Peter closer.

“Dad?”

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“Nu, yu Daddeh am…somepwace ewse.”

(Cut to Hell for Especially Bad People)

Josef’s Father: “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP REINCARNATING ME AS A FLUFFY?!”

Demon: “When it stops being funny. Alright, for your next life you’re going to be a (spins wheel) ‘blankie-fluff?’ Well, that’s new. Anyway, have fun being the only thing worse than a pillowfluff!”

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