The full collection of Rainbow Acres related works can be found here.
“Allllllright, who’s up first?” Jack Lalonde snapped the wristband of his glove as he powered on his workbench.
He was a young medical school dropout, to his parent’s dismay. They called him a “free spirit” which was a very polite way to say he had a lot of heart but not a bit of sense.
Jack saw this differently, of course. He could finish his degree, go through residency and make a lot of money while having absolutely no freetime until the stress killed him in his 40’s or he could find a job that paid less but was also much less stressful and left him with less student loans.
He pulled the lever, and a plastic enclosure spun around, popping open to reveal a dark green pegasus with a pastel green mane.
“Ah, you must be Pickle! A very fitting name!”
“Tank’oo nice mistah…” Pickle wiped the tears from his cheek, eyes red from crying. “Pweast sab’ Pickew fwom masheen, nu wan’ be nu weggy dummeh…”
“Oh, poor baby… There’s no leg stealing machine back here.” Jack scratched Pickle’s chin with one gloved hand as he read the screen in front of him. “Did your daddy say he was going to take your leggies away?”
“Mh-hm.” Pickle nodded.
“Did he say why?”
“Huuu…” The fluffy leaned into Jack’s hand as the scratches worked their way around to behind his ear. “Pickew wun in housie, Daddeh say nu du. Pickew jus’ habbin’ fun tho’! Nu mean tu spiww gwamma’s ashies…”
“Aww… Poor thing…”
Jack’s hand suddenly gripped Pickle by the scruff, lifting him into the air.
“Sounds like you were a bad boy.”
Pickle didn’t even have time to understand Jack, nevermind struggle before he was strapped to a metal plate with a hole for each of his legs.
“PEASE!! NU!! PICKEW NEE’ WEGGIES FO’ WUN AN’ PWAY!! NU SPIWW GWAMMA EBAH ‘GAIN!!”
He carried on with his pleas as Jack slipped on his soundproof headphones. Hearing loss isn’t reversible and worker’s comp will only protect him if he was wearing proper PPE.
With a flourish Jack whipped out his boning knife and got to work severing Pickles legs. He was a Biotoy Customizer, a very fancy way of saying fluffy butcher. BioGrift had put out ads looking for people with medical experience to staff their new Fluffy Medical Boutiques. He thought Fluffy Mechanic was a better way of putting it. You dropped your fluffy into a container, filled out the information on the attached kiosk, and then waited and watched TV in one of the waiting rooms. It even had popcorn.
The first leg was removed, bone and all, in just a few seconds. Jack carved away muscle and tendon deftly and pulled the flap of skin together before wiping off the excess blood and squirting some skin glue over the seams. This was not some DIY hacking and cauterizing, this was real surgery. The slice and burn method left massive scabs that oozed and without proper care (which the sort to go at their fluffy with a cleaver or hatchet never provided) would start to fester quickly. Properly amputated limbs could be flush with the body with well hidden scars or muscular nubs that allowed for movement.
Very few people were willing to sit in what was essentially a stainless steel cubicle for 7 hours a day but Jack didn’t mind much. He wasn’t running around an emergency department or taking orders from stuck up doctors and whiny patients. It was just him, his music, and the fluffies he’s working on. In between songs he could hear a small bit of Pickle’s now hoarse screams.
With the final leg glued shut Jack slapped a strip of adhesive tape over Pickle’s nose and mouth before pulling down a plastic enclosure until it sealed the bloody fluffy inside. When the handle hit the base water jets sprayed from every direction washing away any trace of the gorey job he just finished. He slid off his headphones as he lifted the lid back up and ripped the tape off Pickle’s muzzle.
“Wawa gasp ba’ gasp fo’ fwuffy”
“After everything you just went through, the water was the worst part?” Jack asked, spinning his chair around to the various auto injectors behind him.
Pickles gasps for air became moans of pain, shivering on the leg restraint tray while his butcher scanned his documents.
“Ooh, good news for you, buddy!” Jack grabbed two injectors, one green and one white. “Daddy didn’t want to listen to you scream on the ride home so you get some pain relief!”
“Huwties… huuu…” the now legless fluffy moaned.
“I’ll take care of that in just a second.” Jack jabbed the white injector into each of his stumps individually. Pickle released a yelp with each one.
“Do you want something for the hurties?” He waved the green injector in front of the fluffy’s face.
“Huuu… yus, nu mowe huwties…” Pickle sobbed.
“You can only have this if you understand this was all your fault.”
“Huu huu!! Nu mean tu! Nu wan’ spiww gwamma!!”
Jack shook his head. “Wrong answer.”
He jabbed the back end of the injector into one of Pickle’s stumps, eliciting another yelp of pain.
“Am fwuffy’s fawt!!” He shouts.
“Allllmost there!” Jack sang, pressing the injector in harder. “What’s your fault?”
“OWWIE! PICKEW WOOSE WEGGIES!!” The shout was enough for Jack to stop poking his wounds.
“And whyyyyyyy did this happen?”
“Huuu… Pickew nu wisten tu daddeh…”
Jack grinned and jabbed the business end of the auto injector unto Pickle’s rump. Almost immediately the green fluffy slumped forward, eyelids drooping. Jack lifted the now limp fluffy by the scruff and opened a metal door on the other side of his workstation.
“Now, you remember what a bad fluffy you are.”
Pickle slowly nodded, blinking his hazy eyes as he was set on a disposable pad. Jack slammed the door shut and pressed a button on the side that triggered a muffled ding somewhere beyond his walls.
Turning back to his workstation he pushed the severed legs and bits of tendons into a biowaste bin on the side of the station. He tossed his gorey gloves in after them before reaching up to flip a switch from WASH to SANITIZE. He shut the lid again and while the jets sprayed a yellow foamy cleaner over his workspace he turned to the plastic enclosure once again. Pulling the lever it spun and revealed a deep red mare covering her eyes with her hooves.
“Hi there, what’s your name?” Jack asked, pulling on a new pair of gloves.
The mare lifted a hoof to peek out at the source of the pleasant voice. “Namesie am Wose, nu huwt pwease…”
Jack took a moment to read her paperwork on the screen next to her. “Ah, you’re a mummah!”
“Huu… mummah-no-mowe…”
“Aww.” Jack picked up and set the sad mare in his lap. “What happened?”
“Huu… Mummah say babbehs am fo’ munnies an’ make gu ‘way! Babbehs nu am munnies! Babbehs am babbehs! Dey nee’ huggies an’ wub!”
“Oh, that’s so sad!” Jack scratched Rose behind the ear as the sanitizing cycle finished. “What happened after that?”
“Mummah bwing in enfie fwend buh Wose say nu! Nu wan’ mo babbehs dat gu ‘way! Den mummah bwing in meanie stawwion buh Wose say NU!” She stomped her hoof on Jack’s thigh for impact.
“I see! Well, I think I can help you.”
“Weawwy?!”
“Really!” Jack lifted the lid on the now sanitized leg restraints. “Let me get you all set up in here and we can get started!”
Rose wagged her tail happily as Jack lowered her into the restraints and tightened the strap over her back.
“Now let me double check just to be sure…” he glanced back at the screen to confirm the order.
“Uhm, nu can moob weggies, nice mistah.” Rose said.
“Oh, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that in just a moment.”
Jack slipped his headphones back on, grabbing the thin knife from the magnetic bar behind her and got to work. He saw her mouth open as he sliced into her front leg but heard nothing. Bobbing his head to the beat he severed both front legs just above the knee and left rather robust stumps. According to the order she still needed to be able to care for herself and her foals but not to escape the breeding stallions. These took a skilled hand as the kneecap needed to stay attached to form a sort of hoof on the new leg. She’d keep some of her mobility but not be able to get away from any horny stallion with her ass in the air like that.
Pinching the last flap of skin together as the glue dried he slapped tape onto her muzzle and pulled the lid down to wash the blood off her. Jack turned to the auto injectors on the wall as he scanned the clients request. The white antibiotic was standard, but rather than the typical pain relief the client wanted a light paralytic to keep her from messing with her wounds while they healed. Jack could guess why, the pain relief medicine could cause problems with pregnancy.
“Looks like you’re going to be a mummah again before you know it!”
Grabbing a full box of the blue injectors he turned back to see Rose thrashing in the restraints as yellow foam covered her.
“Oh, shoot.” Jack shook his head with a chuckle. “That darn switch, I always forget.”
He spun around in his chair idly as the sanitation cycle finished by spraying away the sanitizing foam with water and unlocked the lid with a click. Jack lifted it, peeled the tape from the mare’s muzzle and, seeing her now limp in her restraints, rested his hand on her side. After a moment he felt the shallow movement and nodded to himself as he undid her bindings. He jabbed her with the white injector and then swept the two red hooves into the biowaste bin and tossed his gloves on top.
Spinning back to the screen he typed up a small incident report explaining what happened to add to the directions for the paralytic. It printed onto adhesive paper that he stuck to the box of auto injectors. He grabbed Rose by the scruff and set her on the disposable pad behind the metal door. She started stirring as he tossed the box of injectors on top of her.
“Wha’ happ-”
Jack slammed the metal door before she could finish her question and pressed the button that let the attendant know she was done.
He set his workspace to go through another sanitization cycle and started to spin in his chair again when he heard his phone chime.
SUBJECT: Re: Employment Opportunity at Rainbow Acres
He grinned as he read the job offer, quickly typing up his acceptance. He wasn’t supposed to be on his phone while he worked so it was quickly tossed aside.
Jack allowed himself one happy spin of his chair before returning to work. With a pull of the lever the plastic enclosure spun and revealed a tray of young foals in a sleepy pile.
“Aww! Aren’t you sweet little things?” He scanned the request sheet as he spoke softly to them. “Little baby foals are my favorite thing in the whole world!”
He carefully ferried the tray over to his workspace. As he set it down a blue foal atop the pile chirped and lifted its head.
“Oh, I didn’t want to wake you, little guy!” Jack patted him on the head with his index finger. “You know, I’m getting a new job soon! Isn’t that exciting?”
The foal peeped its reply, unable to comprehend his words but understanding his happy tone.
Jack smiled, lifting the foal in his cupped hand. “It’s a really good job, too! I’ll have more money and time off, they even have dental insurance!”
The foal nuzzled into his palm with a contented sigh. Jack gently set it onto the stainless steel workspace, causing the foal to release a few confused peeps as he felt the cold metal beneath him.
“Oh don’t worry, it’ll be over before you know it!” he said, reaching for a pair of garden shears.