This is one of the commissions for @toofymunstah
If you would like a story or just want to sponsor what I’m doing in some way, hit me up!
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‘Fluffy talent show’. Can you think of a lamer sounding event than that? The only talents a fluffy should rightfully have is singing (poorly) and getting their poop into the litterbox, but there was a gaggle of children and their biopets all ready to show off today.
The talent show was taking place at a senior living center. Not a particularly nice one where the pamphlets showed the old folks enjoying life either. There was no literature for The Meadows, it was simply a place you got dumped when your family decided they would tired of you being a meandering nuisance. A common room of the facility had a small stage erected and the various children were outside practicing. What was on the line for today? A $25 gift certificate to a local ice cream parlor.
“C’mon, Merlin!” An eight year old girl told her fluffy excitedly. The girl was dressed in a magician’s costume that her mom had made, all black and red with a matching cape. A blue & yellow fluffy ran into the folds of her cape, the girl twitching it up and showing an imaginary audience that he had disappeared. Folding her arms, she would reveal the stallion who was giggling with a silly expression on his face. This was so fun!
“Suu heawt happies, mummah!” Abigail the Amazing and her fluffy were two aspiring magicians who took this very seriously. The girl, mousy brown hair and freckles all over her face, absolutely loved it. Merlin too. They had a big bag of tricks and would try their best to bring a smile to the old folks, even if they did smell like cabbage and pee.
Suddenly, someone she knew walked up the sidewalk they were practicing on. A boy two years older than she was, a kid who had went through an early growth spurt and had an almost gorilla-like appearance because of his slumped shoulders and furrowed brow. Curly red hair, a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His name was Logan and he was a big jerk. Case in point? He knocked a hand into Abi’s shoulder and sent her sprawling down to the ground. Merlin puffed his cheeks out.
“Nu gib mummah meanies!” Hugging up against her, Abi just glared up to the bully.
What was his problem? “We’re just here to do magic! Don’t be a big jerk!”
Logan balled his hands up, rubbed them under his eyes. ‘We just hewe tu do magic, boohoohoo. Waahhh’. The kid’s own fluffy, a yellow and red unicorn stallion, showed up. Both began laughing at the Jr Magicians who were finally getting up.
“Nobody gives a CRAP about your stupid magic. Magic is gay. Me and Darkness are going to win the show. So just go home, piss-baby!” Darkness began laughing even harder at that. Pee-babbeh! So funny to a smarty.
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Kids were getting called into the nursing home to show off their talents. Abigail had decided it was best to wheel her suitcase of magic tricks into the common room and take a seat with everyone else than it was to be out there. Well not like it mattered much anyways. Logan was right behind her pelting the back of her head with wads of paper.
Up first was a girl and her mare doing an gymnastic routine. Well, the girl was putting in most of the work. Her mare, fat and purple, looked like a grape which was ready to burst all over the place. The extent of her ‘gymnastics’ was slowly rolling on the floor while giggling. Seeing this grand display of athleticism, a green pillowed mare in the audience began to freak out.
“Huuhuuhuu…Zucheenie wan weggies tu! Nu faiw! Wan run! NU WAN BE MUNSTAH FWUFFY!” The little idiot was freaking out so much and waggling her stumps around. Her owner gave a roll of his eyes than spanked her softly. Zucchini began shrieking loudly by then.
“Let’s hear some applause for…” The kindly-faced woman who was volunteering to do the announcing work was cut off by Zucchini wailing while in the arms of her owner.
“WAN WEGGIES! EEEEEE! FWUFFY WAN WEEGGGIIEESSS!” Exiting out the front door of the senior living center, a few of the old folks showed some concern. Maybe. They weren’t exactly lively. Ahem.
“Show some applause to Marie and her fluffy, Poprock!” Everyone applauded, except for Logan. Too much bullying to be done and by now he was whispering mean things toward her.
Up next was a collection of talky-babbehs, three in all, lined up in a row. They proceeded to dance like retards while their owner acted as if he was conducting them with a little stick. There was no way they were in any way following any rhyme or reason. One had actually fallen over and seemed to be having a seizure on the floor halfway through it.
More polite applause. A geezer had slumped over his walker and was snoring quite loudly by now.
“Watch and learn, shit-ass.” Logan told Abigail under his breath as he was called up to show off his abilities. The announcer put on what music he’d suggested for his show, and ‘Eye of the Tiger’ would come in over a pair of tinny speakers. Setting up a few props, particle board and boards made of foam, the two would begin showing off their amazing martial arts.
“Fwuffy am stwonges’ fwuffy!” Darkness boasted, slamming a foam board so that it split in half. Following suit, Logan karate chopped a particle board so it splintered away in two different pieces. That was about it. Two weenies bashing up the weakest materials known to man. Still, when it ended, Abigail would applause for them because her mom said it always did good to be polite. Even when people were jerks.
Strutting back up the aisle after receiving their smattering of golf claps, Abi smiled up to Logan.
“Good job!” She said with a big thumbs up. Logan rolled his eyes. What a kiss-ass.
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In no time at all it would be Abigail and Merlin’s turn. Wheeling up the suitcase containing a bunch of her magic tricks, Abi gave a whirl of her cape.
“Hi! Thanks for, uhmm, having us today. We’re gonna do some magic!” A wand flipped out between her fingers as if from thin air!
Merlin looked up to his owner. Gave a waggle of his tail. “Mummah! Wan skettis! Pwease?”
Giving a theatrical look around the room, she gave a shrug. “I don’t see any! Not even in my hat.” Taking off her tophat and flipping it around, she showed the room that there was nothing in it. Leveling it above Merlin, the wand was poked against the side.
“But I have magic! Abra-cadabra!” A big gloopy pile of spaghetti fell down from the hat and plopped onto Merlin.
“Boo! BOOOOO! Magic’s FAKE!” Logan heckled her from the audience. The smile on Abi’s face faltered for a moment then came right back. After slurping up the pile of sketti, Merlin joined his owner as they went out to the audience. Locating an elderly man hunched over in his wheelchair, hands folded on a blanket set out on his lap, the cheery girl held out a deck of cards to him. This would bring him some pep!
“Please, mister! Pick a card, any card!” A rheumatic hand reached out shakily to grasp a card. The ace of hearts.
“I miss my wife every day and I a’int slept in ten years.” He rasped out mournfully. Uh, well, she couldn’t really help with that.
Tapping her wand on top of Merlin’s head, his mouth opened and tongue poked out. Slotted between his lips was the ace of hearts! “Is THIS your card?” She asked with a beaming smile.
Instead of a response the old man began to weep loudly. Well. Gosh. Card tricks didn’t usually get that kind of response.
Moving around the audience she found a fat pink mare with a cluster of chirpies dressed in little tuxedos and gowns.
“What cute babies! But I think you’re missing one!” Abi told the fluffy who then carefully rolled over and got all of the chirpies off of her back. Perking up her ears, she looked around.
“Wewe babbeh!?” She demanded and Abigail took a plastic egg from within her cape and set it down in front of her. The fluffy poked it with a hoof and watched in wonder as it wriggled around, popping one of the halves off as the chirpy within cheerfully peeked it’s head out with peeps and cheeps.
“Boooo! I totally saw her put the chirpy in the egg! BOOOOO!” Tossing a pencil at Abigail’s face, she stood there with mounting frustration. That and his constant abuse was making the crowd grow unruly too.
“I want Murder She Wrote!” Griped a lady with no less than eight cats perched on her body. Her doughy cheeks were beginning to quiver with barely contained impatience.
A man hunched over a walker attempted to throw a cup of pudding at Abigail. It sailed a sad foot and a half before arcing down and splatting to the floor. He shook his walker. “I’d rather be back in Vietnam! Them comin’ out of the jungle was a better trick than this!”
Ouch. Abigail had actually practiced really hard for this and magic was her true passion, if someone so young could even have one. Well maybe it was time to really bring out the big guns.
“OK, I get it! You’re such a great audience and you’d love to see real magic. OK, uhmm, just a minute.” Getting back up on stage she began removing objects from the suitcase containing her tricks. Finally locating the item she truly needed at this time, she withdraw a tiny guillotine. The hole where the head would be inserted was fluffy sized for sure. Setting the guillotine up, she demonstrated how sharp it was by notching a cucumber into the hole and letting the blade fall down. The cuke was cut straight in half and finally there was some murmuring of interest.
“This is the most death defying, craziest magic I know! Merlin will sit here and have this, uhhmm, super sharp thing fall right toward his neck. But! He’ll be OK!” Ushering Merlin toward the hole where his head would be inserted, the fluffy seemed sort of nervous. Even trembling a bit. They’d practiced this trick before but would it really be OK?
“Mummah…” He whimpered softly but Abigail assuaged his fears with a gentle pat to the head.
“It’s time for real magic!” Abigail picked up a velvet curtain and draped it in front of Merlin. By now the crowd was truly interested in what was going on. It would be painfully obvious if the fluffy just pranced away from the guillotine. What would happen?
Lifting up the blade, with one hand and keeping the curtain up with the air, the girl gave a small grunt and let it fall with a small smack right down to the target underneath. The room was silent, and something rolled to the floor behind the curtain. A pool of blood began to pool out from behind the curtain. A shocked gasp.
“She just done kil’t her fluffy! Po’h lil feller!” The guy who wished he was back in Vietnam exclaimed to the audience.
Logan pointed right to the stage and began laughing his face off. “WHAT AN IDIOT! SHE REALLY JUST KILLED HER FLUFFY!” He looked from side to side to see if anyone was laughing. They weren’t. “Darkness! Hey Darkness did you see that!?” A question that received no response.
Smiling out to the crowd, Abigail looked down to the blood pooling at her shoes. “Oops! I made a mistake. But magic is pretty tricky.” Pulling the velvet curtain aside from the guillotine, she gave the audience a full look at what had went ‘wrong’.
There was Darkness the fluffy. In two pieces now. His head had rolled out on the floor, eyes staring up to the ceiling and tongue sticking out. Blood still drained out of the perfectly sheared stump of his neck, front hooves twitching slightly as the nerves ran out. A pile of feces lay behind him, his last memento to the Earth.
“Darkness? DARKNESS!?” Logan rushed toward the stage and bent down to the remains of his best friend. Kept trying to push the head back onto the stump as if it’d just magically reconnect and fill back up with blood. Abi gave a swirl of her cape.
“Where are you, Merlin!?” She called out to the audience. The fluffy poked up on a table, waggling his front hooves around.
“Am hewe, mummah!” Announced the stallion with much excitement in his voice.
How? How did she manage to do that? They weren’t even questioning the death of someone else’s fluffy. The simple fact that…well it sure seemed like real magic. With an explosion of noise, the place went up in hoots, cheers, and applause.
“How’d she do that!?” Queried one kid with a stallion dressed up like Spiderman. He’d been dangling around on a rope and nearly killed himself earlier.
“It am magic! Teehee! SU FUN!” Cooed a yellow & purple mare that had sang the mummah song to show off her talent. Giving applause, her hooves slapped together with tiny squeaks.
Logan looked up from the remains of Darkness, the smarty most definitely not coming back from this one. “She killed my friggin’ fluffy! She’s a murderer! That’s not magic! MAGIC IS FAKE!” Tears ran down his cheeks. By now the crowd was entirely enthralled by Abi’s display of the mystical arts.
“Shu’up you crybaby li’l bitch!” Came the belligerent voice of the man who no longer wished he was in Vietnam. He’d just been throughly entertained. Picking up another cup of pudding, he threw it with enough force to pelt Logan with it. The entire room began tossing shit at the kid…which seems pretty bad but he WAS an asshole. Holding his fluffy’s head under one arm, he went crying out of the room. Now covered in pudding, blood, and his own shame.
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Later that day Abigail and Merlin sat at the ice cream parlor each respectively enjoying their own sundaes. Abi had one with tons of strawberries and nuts, Merlin had decided for one that consisted almost entirely of marshmallow fluff.
“Uhmm…mummah? How am yew do dat?” He asked quizzically. About the magic trick of course. The fluffy had been involved in it and didn’t even quite know. Things happened so fast!
Leaning over with a napkin, she curled the paper against his face to get smeared marshmallow fluff off. “Duh! It was totally magic. Cool huh?”
Merlin stared up to his mummah with eyes as big as plates. “Waow!”