July Babies part #10 END (by Chikahiro)

<— part 9

“Shhhh, babbehs.”

The three had stopped crying for a while, but couldn’t help but look at the dead body in their midst til they heard an unfamiliar voice above them. One hoof, two legs, a whole fluffy came into the hole with them. The biggest fluffy, brown and warm.

“Bawk hewe fow hewp babbehs.”

“Pwease take fwuffy!”

“No wan stay hewe! So scawy!”

“Su meanie! Fwuffy scawed!”

The toughie hugged them, listening to them sob and tell them about the past few days. About the mean smarty who had everything but wouldn’t share. Who could give them forever sleepies. Who hit them when they complained.

“Oooh, scawy,” he said, nodding his head.

The three weanlings agreed.

“Cum, howd on tu Bawk’s fwuff,” he said, putting them on his back. “No wet go, no mattah what.”

They went down the hill, passing by trees and bushes, over logs, through a shit-filled clearing, til the treeline came to an end and human houses appeared. The almost colt and near fillies felt their eyes grow wide, never knowing any of it existed.

Twig and Fern joined up with Bark, the babies looking back at the scouts.

“Wead on.”

Past the chain link fence, onto the concrete sidewalk and down the street, Fern and Twig lead Bark to a light blue house with a tall, dark man reading a paper with coffee on the porch.

“Well, hello you two,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “Brought friends with you I see.”

“Hewwo nice mishtah.”

“And who is this pretty lady? With three foals?”

Bark looked at him. “No am mawe. Am stawwion.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Do you have a name? My name is Anthony.”

“Am Bawk.”

“So, are these your babies?”

“Nu, nu am. Foun’ dese babbehs in howe.”

Anthony’s eyebrows piqued. “A hole, you say? Where is your mother, babies?”

“No hab mama,” Red said.

“No mama…,” chirped Blue.

Yellow just looked down, exhausted.

“Huh… well, let me get something for the little ones to eat then.”

Bark, Fern and Twig watched as Anthony went into the house, talking to someone in there. A few minutes later a little black girl came out, setting down a bowl of milk. The brown toughie lay down, letting the weanlings get off his back and trudge to the milk.

They looked at it.

They sniffed it.

Red licked it. Then again. And again.

“Miwkies!” he proclaimed, diving back in.

“Stay back and let them eat, Michelle,” Anthony said to the little girl. She nodded, giggling, as he walked out of the house with his wife, very clearly pregnant.

“Bawk no can take cawe ob dese babbehs… am stawwion, no am mawe. Can nice mistuh An-ton-ee be nyu daddeh?”

“Well,” he started, his wife playfully slapping him on the arm.

“I think we can do that for these three.”

Cabbage watched from a distance, looking through the window of Mr. Anthony’s house. Some time had passed, and he could see the babies from the hole weren’t babies anymore but were turning into a fine looking colt and fillies. They never left the house, and he couldn’t see them unless they were by a window facing the forest. Sometimes he’d catch the blue one looking out into the forest, almost like she was remembering something, but would turn shaking her head before leaving.

As he walked down the street saw another human with sheets of paper, stapling them to fences and poles. He hid, watching her. The human mare looked sad as she did it.

The paper had human drawing on them that he couldn’t read, but it had a familiar face.

“Wittle mama?”

She jumped, surprised, til she realized it was a fluffy. But not her fluffy. Coughing into her hand, she presented a flier to Cabbage.

“Have you seen this fluffy?” she asked.

“Yesh,” Cabbage said. “Sowwy, he go fowebah sweepies.”

She looked down, sniffling. The green earthie walked up to her, huggin the child’s leg.

“Vaniwwa was Cabbage’s fwen. Gon miss Vaniwwa.”

“You were friends with Vanilla?”

“Yes… Vaniwwa wub wittwe mama suuuu much… onwy t’ing dat made Vaniwwa happeh.”

She sat down on the ground with a thump, clinging tightly to Cabbage as they mourned together.

The hole had been filled back up, Vanilla buried underneath. Jade brought him flowers and some fruit nummies even though he couldn’t eat them. She knew it, but it made the hurting feel better and worse rather than just worse.

“How Smawty? Bark asked, walking up behind her.

“Smawty no hewe. Smawty no wan cum back.”

“No toughie hewe, eithaw.”

Bark nuzzled up against his special friend. Swollen eyes looked at the night sky, the small human town blanketed in darkness and stars.

“How wong did yu knu?” Bark asked, wrapping his legs around her.

“Awways knu.”

“Vaniwwa wuz wast babbeh hewe…”

“Jay-duh wike dat name. Vaniwwa.”

“Bawk wundah how owange babbeh an’ pink babbeh du?”

“Jay-duh dunno… but dew wuz gud babbehs. Gud house-fwuffies.”

“Bawk miss puw-pul cowt.”

Jade pulled tightly against Bark’s leg. “Wai dis hab su hawd?”

“Cause Jay-duh iz good fwuffy an’ good smawty… now wike da oldesht way ob gibin’ pwetteh babbies fowebah sweepies.”

“Suuu heawt huwties.”

“Bawk knu.”

“Dees pwetteh babies,” she said, looking at the sky. “Wike fai-ah-woks… su pwetteh, but go so fas’… no stay…”

“What hoomins caww woudest night?”

“Joo-wy.”

“Joo-wy babehs…”

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@51 Jade made use of his death, but that was never in her plans. Honestly, Vanilla was never in my plans either, but he just sort of happened. And, honestly, I’m glad he did. I think it was one or two parts after I introduced him I kept getting the feeling he was going to die somehow. Which is annoying because any plans I had to not do that kept feeling wrong as a result.

J. Michael Staczyinski, creator of Bablyon 5, noted that sometimes characters will tell you what they want, or will fight with you over things. That’s kind of what happened here with me and Vanilla.

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Jesus christ man. This hit so hard. A part of me feels like turning Jade in a firework herself for how she acted. But the fact it was probably the ONLY way she could make sure the babbehs would learn to not ask for anything, appreciate everything they got, fear the wilderness and learn there are mean fluffies in the world… I couldn’t bring myself to even finish judging her. The whole vanilla being an ex babbeh…

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Awaiting melatonin to do its thing: Since things always make more sense in my head than they do when written out? The old smarty used to make the mares give up their pretty babies for adoption, but he let them raise them normally otherwise. Jade’s change was to make it clear that the pretty babies were Smarty’s (ie, her) so the mares could get used to the idea that the pretty babies weren’t theirs.

Likewise, the younger mothers now didn’t know the old way, so weren’t told what would happen. Their brothers and sisters were only “friends” to help the herd cut their ties with the pretty babies easier.

The hole was to scare the weanlings about outside life, make them grateful for anything, and to try and break some of the bad habits that the ferals know humans don’t like. This was part of what was so taxing for Jade: she had to be “The Smarty” for all of this, including being so cruel to the foals. Talk to enough domestics, run aways, etc., and you’ll learn what triggers the human monsters…

@A-S It was hard to write in parts. I liked Jade, so putting a character I like, who I wanted to be better than the typical smarty, and making her act like one? That kind of sucked! I wouldn’t condone her methods, but I understand them from their perspective. Humans can kill fluffies with trivial ease, but can also protect them like nothing else.

The pretty babies/July babies simple could not make it as ferals, and they were in a fairly safe spot. Hence the gamble the herd plays each time a new batch of foals arrive. Much better than the traditional alternative: stomping them to death like runts because they’ll never produce enough to justify raising them…

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Yeah. That was the last thing he “asked” for, so to speak. Every time I went over how the scene in #9 could go in my head at work it kept hitting ME hard. And it really sucks for her, which is why I skipped ahead because I didn’t want to have to follow up so closely to her dealing with the fact the gamble failed for him. Honestly, I had a conversation with Nurse or Bark lined up about “was it worth it” but felt like I couldn’t do it justice, hence its omission.

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This was masterful, no questions asked. Don’t even ponder if it wasn’t.

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Thank you.

First time plotting out things (used Scrivener’s notes to plot part by part, which fell to the wayside but still helped). First time in a long time writing out stories/fiction like this.

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Well, that was bittersweet, to put it lightly.

One part I don’t think I got, though. Who was the Anthony guy? It seemed like the fluffies had some sort of ongoing relationship with him.

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Fern and Twig had been scouting the neighborhood. I think I mentioned it in passing, but should’ve reiterated it more now that you bring it up. I knew that was part of the ending I was going for but was afraid of tipping my hand too soon.

Enough fluffy tears for you? Well earned or cheaply given?

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you sure know how to write a gut punch to the feels my dude. Good job.

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I think “bittersweet” is the best word for it. Sort of a “happy ending, but not really” situation. I liked the twist that Vanilla was one of the pretty babies they had to get rid of. And the little girl hearing from a fluffy that her fluffy was dead and them crying together was a somber epilogue.

Overall, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t that super heavy handed exist is pain type sadbox that I so often think of. In a way, this is kind of the opposite. This is the sadness of things going right.

They never did find that cat, though.

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Nice but sad ending knowling vanilla died but the 3 foals trained the harsh reality to live with humans.

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So, got asked why Jade went through all this trouble. My reply was:

Looking back, I un-intentionally ended up recreating an environment not too dissimilar to what you’d find in an industrial setting where the foals are forced/trained into good behavior in hopes of selling for more.

Also, regarding colors and survivability:

Color, causing the inability to hide was the reason. If they can’t hide, they can’t be productive members of the herd whose survival depends on foraging, keeping watch, etc. The brightness of their colors would give them away, thus putting the rest of the herd at risk from predatory animals and humans.

It wasn’t based on discrimination like we normally see on stories. Rather, the colors are treated almost like a birth defect. This is why the oldest solution was to kill them. One smarty hit in the idea of getting the humans to take them, but it’s pattern mirrored what house fluffies reported their experience being.

Jade went further trying to emotionally separate the foals from their mothers because the traditional adoption process was hard of them. When it was time to take them, the mother’s had come to terms with the impending loss.

Jade and the previous smarty valued know what an area was like. One way to get them to move was if the humans started getting too mean. Signs of a story-level abuser showing up would get them to find a new home.

On reddit it was asked what would happen if they couldn’t fnid a foster family for the babies:

My thinking was that if no human would take them, then they’d ask if they could take the babies to the “shewtew.” If that fails… hrm… I could see them maybe getting some help but they’d have to become urban/suburban ferals (sort of like the cats in the neighborhood I grew up in).

A particularly bad reaction might be a sign the herd needed to consider moving.

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MY FUCKIN HEART

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Sorry!

After you’ve had time to recover, I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this.

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I absolutly love this series of stories,

Jade is a smart fluff, a smarty friend, she cares about her herd, espically considering she did actually train those foals to be well behaved so they could be adopted even if she had to play the ‘evil smarty’

Its a shame vanillia died… it made me geniunly sad, i am curious if theres a chance him and cabbage were related in someway or tried to be friends during the foal times?

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I hadn’t thought about that. Truthfully, I was half considering one of the other characters being one of Jade’s children, but not Cabbage. I wanted him to actually care about other fluffies, and Jade’s idea of what makes a good toughie isn’t the normal “second worst monster” that you sometimes see. He’s a toughie because he’s big and he cares about his herd. So caring about another fluffy’s distress isn’t a far leap.

Thank you. I’m really trying to get feedback on this since as been so long since I tried telling a serious story of any sort. I’m pretty pleased with how things turned out and am trying to eke as much learning out of this as possible.

And yeah, everyone loves Vanilla. But I already talked about my difficulty trying to find him a happy ending above.

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Yes I was sort of right! Also this is one of the best stories I have read in while.

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Oooh, what about? There were a lot of predictions made.

Do you felt I gave you enough plot threads that you could come up with it based on what was seen? But not so many that you felt 100% about it?

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Now that it’s complete, I do have a question on the birthing rate of this herd. The hierarchy and structure of it makes sense but I wonder when do new foals get added if there is a risk of having brightly colored foals. When that happens, they would need to scout for potential human adoptees and I don’t suppose this neighborhood is full of fluffy friendly homes. On a side note, I was slightly hoping that Cabbage would be adopted by Little Mama but that might be asking too much.

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