Jared blinked. The demon sitting behind the desk facing him tapped the papers in front of it.
“You didn’t look both ways and got run over by a bus.”
“I’m dead?!”
“Yes. Now I’m going to send you to another world where you’ll need to defeat the-hold on, your file says you didn’t watch anime so you wouldn’t get the reference.”
“I’m being sent to another world?”
“No, that was a joke. You’re in Hell.”
“Oh come on! What did I do to deserve this?”
“According to your file you worked at a ‘troubled teen’ facility where you used your power over children to abuse them in horrible ways.”
“That’s ridiculous, those brats are lying!”
“So you didn’t hit them, crush their spirits, and do horrible things to them involving poop?”
“No!”
There’s a ‘ding’ sound.
“Okay, your file has just been updated to include ‘Lied about hitting kids, crushing their spirits, and doing horrible things to them involving poop.’ You do realize this is Hell, right? We know the shit you got up to, figuratively and literally. Like you saying you didn’t care if they were kids when you hurt them. Now all that’s left is your punishment.”
“So what, you’re going to burn me in hellfire or something?”
“Well relatively recently a new method of punishment has opened up. And considering your particular sins it’s entirely appropriate for you. So you’re being reincarnated instead. Enjoy your new life, you fucking monster. If you’re thinking about begging, keep in mind what you did to those kids when they begged you to stop.”
“Wait, wha-”
Jared blinked as the eyes of his new body opened. He was in an alley, why was he so close to the ground? Even on all fours as his new body was he should be higher up-
A hard blow knocked him off his…hooves?
“Dummeh poopie babbeh!”
Jared tried to say something but all that came out of his mouth was a chirping sound.
“Yu nu get miwkies! Su nu mowe cwying!”
Another blow rattled his skull. Then he was shoved towards a huge pile of fluffy shit.
“Num da poopies ow ewse! Dat am aww yu gud fow!”
Jared tried to protest but all that came out was “Pwease nu, am onwy widdwe babbeh!”
“NU CAWE! Nao num poopies ow yu get mowe huwties!”
…
Gary and James looked down the alley at the mother fluffy forcing her child to eat poop.
“Why do you think they do that?”
“I don’t know, but it’s not like it’s any worse than what humans do to each other. Do you want to intervene?”
“Nah, let’s film it and put it on YouTube.”
“Sounds good! Ooh look, she’s shoved him into the poop pile and he’s choking on shit!”
