Happy Halloween!
”B-babbeh nyu namesie am… Mastah?” The foal started crying tears of joy ”Huu Mastah wub nyu namesie neba hab namesie befo huu babbeh wub” He did his best to hug the Kratt’s hands.
Meanwhile, the reaction of the herd was much more distressed. They had heard what was happening and were screaming their heads off.
”NUUUHUUHUU WAI MUNSTAH GIB UGWY POOPIE-BABBEH NAMESIE HUU”
”WA… NUUUUU NU GIB POOPIE-BABBEH NAMESIE DUUUMMMMEEEHH”
The bestest however, was completely unconsolable.
”NUUUU CHIRP MUMMAH HUU HUU WAI POOPIE-BABBEH GE NYU NAMESIE BEFO BESTEST HUU sniff NU FAIW NU FAIW NU FAIW PEEP”
Master took a shy look towards the herd and became sad again, but the Kratt caught back his attention.
”What is your first wish? What do you want me to do for you, Master?”
”Wha…? Poo… Mastah nu unnastan huu wa munstah mean?”
The Kratt laughed. What dumb creatures ”I’m your Kratt, which means you’ll have to give me work. I can do anything you want, bring you everything you desire. Now, what do you want?”
”Huu Kwatt am… am Kwatt… am Kwatt nyu daddeh?”
”Heh, I guess I can be your new daddy!”
Masters eyes filled with happy tears as for the first time in his life, he felt true love. He laid down with his body, spreading out his leggies to give the Kratt’s hands the biggest huggies he could. He started wagging his little brown tail and yelling ”Mastah wub daddeh coo neba hab daddeh MASTAH WUB KWATTIE DADDEH SU MUCHIES HUU HUU”
”SCREEEEE WAI KWATTIE MUNSTAH BECUM POOPIE-BABBEH DADDEH HUUU WAAIII”
The bestest huddled in his mummahs fluff and covered his eyes with his hooves ”Dis nu weaw huu huu CHIRP nu weaw huu huu poopie-babbeh nu hab PEEP daddeh hu poopie am dummeh CHIRP HUU DIS NU AM WEAW CHIRP CHIRP”
The Smarty became ever more angry at the two ”DUUMMMEEEEHH! KWATTIE MUNSTAH NU BECUM POOPIE-BABBEHS DADDEH DUUUMMMMEEEEH!!! NEE WISTEN TU SMAWTY NAO OW GIB FOWEBA SWEEPIES WAI DUMMEH KWATTIE NU WISTEN”
The Kratt didn’t pay them any mind, instead focusing on servicing his master.
”Now Master, what is your next wish? What do you want me to do for you, Master?”
Master stopped celebrating for a moment as the pain from his leg reminded him of his injury.
”Daddeh huu Mastah hab wowstest huwties eba sniff huu huu huwties am su ba daddeh an weggie nu wowk huu pwease hewp widdow Mastah”
”Alright, I’ll tend to your leg, Master. I’ll place you on the ground for the moment and get some things”
He placed the little foal, which was looking up at the Kratt with sad eyes, on the cold pavement. Suddenly a flash came and the Kratt dissapeared. The only thing the fluffies saw was a pillar of light which dissapeared into the night sky.
All fluffies stood frozen in the silent dark crossroads, unable to quite understand what had happened.
Suddenly the fluffy herd started celebrating, starting with the Smarty.
”DAS WITE! DUMMEH KWATTIE MUNSTAH WEABE HEWD AWONE AN NEBA CUM BAK!”
Master looked at where the Kratt had stood and back at the herd. Tears were forming in his eyes as he silently begged.
”Nuu huu wheve daddeh huu huu nu weabe mastah huu Mastah am jus widdow babbeh HUU HUU WAI DADDEH WEABE CHIRP NEBA HAB DADDEH BEFO WAI WEA-”
But before he could finish his lament, the Kratt once again appeared before him with a bright pillar of light. In his hands, a bottle of fluffy pain medication and disinfectant, and in the other, some bandages.
”Wah… DADDEH CUM BAK FO BABBEH? HUU HUU MASTAH FINK DADDEH WEABE HUU HUU SU HAPPEH”
”Oh, don’t worry little one, I only leave for a few seconds to get you the things you need! Now let’s look at that wound”
It was an even more of a shock to the herd, who once again started crying. The Smarty launched a new tirade of threats with declarations that the Kratt was in fact a ”Dummeh”.
Kratt took the foal and gave him some pain medication, then disinfected his wound and bandaged his leg up. He told Master that his leg needed time to recover and rest.
”Fankyoo daddeh hehe Mastah feew much bettah nao an hab wess huwties” He gave a hug to the Kratt’s grass fingers.
”Alright, what is your next wish? What do you want me to do for you, Master?”
”Mastah hab tu… huu hab tu num poopies huu huu hab tu num poopies fo entiwe wife! Huu neba eben ge miwkies huu onwy poopies PEEP aww bwuddas an sistahs ge mummahs miwkies bu hewd say Mastah am PEEP POOPIE-BABBEH HUU HUU NU WAN BE POOPIE-BABBEH DADDEH HUU HUU pwease daddeh, Mastah wan twy bestest miwkies…”
”Of course, Master”
Once again he dissapeared into the sky, only to fall down back on the pavement. He had a bottle of Hasbio Premium Sketty-Milk.
”This is Sketty-Milk, Master. As far as I know it’s the best milk for fluffies in the whole world. I hope you’ll find it acceptable”
”Sketty… miwkies? DEWE AM SKETTY-MIWKIES?? AN DADDEH BWING MASTAH SKETTY-MIWKIES??? YAAAAAYYY BESTEST DADDEH EBA HUU sniff huu babbeh wub daddeh su muchies huu MASTAH WUB”
As Master cried tears of joy, every one of the herd fluffies nearly got a heart attack. It was one thing for the Kratt monster to become the poopie-babbehs daddeh, give him a name and fix his leg, but giving him milkies (Sketty-milkies no less)? The fluffies didn’t even know a word that could describe it. Despicable? Disastrous? Catastrophic? Apocalyptic?
One thing that was clear was that the bestest was worst hit by what he saw, in fact, he was in quite the loop because of it. He was on his mummah’s fur and climbed closer to her ear to get her attention in the wave of cries and screams.
”Mummah! CHIRP CHIRP MUMMAH!”
”HUU HUU YUS BESTES BABBEH MUMMAH HEWE!”
”MUMMAH CHIRP BESTES WAN DIE CHIRP WAN DIE MUMMAH”
”NUU HUU HUU NU SAY DAT BESTES NUUU MUMMAH WUB WIDDOW BESTES BABBEH!”
”CHIRP CHIRP DEN WAI POOPIE-BABBEH HAB NAMESIE AN NYU DADDEH AN BESTES SKETTY-MIWKIES CHIRP WAI MUMMAH HUU CHIRP CHIRP WAN DIE”
”HUU HUU AM SOWWY BESTES BABBEH MUMMAH SOWWY! PWEASE SMAWTY SPECHUL FWEN, DU SOMFING HUU”
But the Smarty was looking at the horror in silence. His throat was hurt from relentlessly protecting his herd by screaming. His hooves ached from kicking the invisible wall in front of them. What he saw was the most horrible, evil thing he had laid eyes upon in his entire life. What had he done wrong? Why was this happening to him and his herd?
Meanwhile, Master was tasting the nectar of the gods, at least that was the closest comparison one can make to tasting Sketty-Milk after a lifetime if consuming shit. Kratt fed him in his grass-hand and for the first time in his life, Master felt full and fed. He was still crying tears of joy. As he plopped his full, blissful body on his daddeh’s hands, he heard the Kratt ask:
”What is your next wish? What do you want me to do for you, Master?”
Master was still recovering from his heavenly experience and the question took him by surprise. What more could he want? He had to really think about…
Then a tiny high voice managed to somehow overpower the cries and the laments from the herd. The bestest had climbed down from his mummah’s scruff and bravely stepped forward to fight for justice and inspire it’s herd and Smarty daddeh. He couldn’t let this stand, he had to talk some sense to this Munstah, he couldn’t die without giving his best to set things right.
”KWATTIE MUNSTAH, DUMMMEEEHH, WISTEN HEWE. BABBEH AM BESTES BABBEH AN DAT AM POOPIE-BABBEH ! DUMMEH KWATTIE GIB NAMESIE AN SKETTY-MIWKIES TU POOPIE-BABBEH, DUMMEH! DUMMEH MUNSTAH AM DADDEH TU POOPIE-BABBEH! NAO NU WISTEN TU POOPIE-BABBEH NU MO, ONWY WISTEN TU BESTES BABBEH! BESTES WAN NYU PWETTY NAMESIE AN WAN SKETTY-MIWKIES AN WAN WAWM HOUSIE AN WAN TOYSIES WAN BWOCKIES AN BAWW AN PWUSHIE DAT MUMMAH TAWK ABOU’ AN WAN FWENS AN WAN POOPIE-BABBEH TU NUM POOPIES AN GET FOWEBA SWEEPIES! POOPIE-BABBEH AM POOPIE AN NEE GU TU POOPIEWAN” He ended his manifesto by blowing a raspberry.
Master had almost forgotten about his meanie herd. He burst into tears. He knew what Poopieland was, it was where poopie-babbehs go after forever sleepies. His mummah had told the foals many times how all fluffies go to Skettyland, where they can eat all the best sketties they want and play in sketty sauce and sleep on meatballs, except poopies, who go to Poopieland. Indeed, even death wasn’t supposed to free brown fluffies from their horrible fate as the lowest tier in the fluffy hierarchy. No, instead it would ruin their chance at peace after death. Bestest always got his way… Surely daddeh would send him to Poopieland now…
”You have no command over me fool, I only serve my Master!”
Master looked up at the Kratt with surprise as the bestest plopped down in a tantrum and cried about wanting to die.
”What is your wish, Master?
Master looked at the herd which had made his life hell. They looked at him with either fury or sadness, neither look soothed him. Why didn’t they accept him, why did they want him to suffer! He knew what he wanted.
”Daddeh, pwease send owd hewd tu Poopiewan…”