“Can you say auntie?”
You slowly sound out the word for Odis in your doting voice.
“Ah-n-tee.”
You are Joey portnoy . Today you are looking after Odis for your friend Duncan.
Odis looks up at you tilting his head to the side in confusion, the weight of the padded helmet causing him to lose his balance falling over in the process.
Odis doesn’t cry he just looks around the immediate area trying to figure out what happened.
You look at Odis wearing the helmet and decide to take it off.
“It was worth a shot but no dice.”
You had always heard that SBS fluffies only cried , ate, soiled themselves and slept on repeat.
Odis however, rarely cried . He most certainly did the other things listed, but he cried noticeably less than what was to be expected.
According to Duncan, Odis did cry near constantly when he first got him.
It took almost a year for Odis to adjust. The only time Odis didn’t cry was when he was being held by Duncan. It took a Thunder vest , cotton buds in his ears , and the occasional use of a tiny white balaclava with no eye holes to help block out bright lights (dubbed the happy hat), to help him self sooth .
As time passed Odis developed, though much slower than an average fluffy.
He could walk, was about 70% litter box trained (though he needs the box to be newspaper lined with a bit of a buffer area around the box itself) and was finally developing teeth.
You have been trying to teach him simple phrases with varying degrees of success.
So far you figure out that
(Tumtum) means stomach.
When his stomach hurt he would say (bah tumtum)
That’s it. The rest of his babbling may as well be Greek.
You look down at the helmet.
Originally you got it to keep him safe but it’s too heavy and it keeps throwing him off balance.
You chuckle to yourself.
“Never thought id be this invested in an SBS of all things.”
Odis suckles his hoof for a moment as if pondering something.
Then he takes the hoof out of his mouth with a long strand of drool connected to it. He points at the pacifier resting atop a paper towel on the ottoman.
You sigh .
“Daddeh said no binki for two hours .”
You look at your watch.
“You still have about 30 minutes left.”
Odis didn’t really understand what you said and simply stared longingly at the pacifier .
“Dummeh stoopi’ poopeh babbeh! Wondon wan pway!”
You look over at the you shoot death glare at the gold and rainbow colored filly you had somehow gotten yourself roped into sitting for your land lady Ms Snyder in exchange for slightly lower rent.
“London !”
The mare startled by your voice lets out a very unpleasant squeal followed by a trickling of diarrhea before quickly recomposing herself.
“Ou’ scawe wondon!”
You put your hands on your hips.
“What did I say would happen if you called Odis bad words?”
London thinks for a moment before giving up.
“Nu membah!”
Not buying it for a minute, you decide to “remind” her .
London stares at the object in your hand, her reaction proves that she was in fact very much aware of what you had told her.
“W…wut dat?”
You shake your head
“Don’t play ignorant.”
London backs up with her tail between her legs.
You have yet to break eye contact.
“Say it!”
London nervously repeats the adage
“I….In dis house P….Potty mouff nee w…washin’ out (Hu Hu!)”
You point at her mouth.
“Good, you do remember. Now Open your mouth so I can clean it!”
London opens her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks as she awaits her punishment.
Londons expression turns to anguish as you slide a travel size bar of soap in her mouth .
You don’t leave it in there, you simply let it rest on her tongue for about 30 seconds, just long enough to leave a film of soap paste on in her entire mouth.
You know damn well she’s not sorry. But it was never about getting a half assed apology .
London tries drinking water but it only makes things worse.
London cries for a bit before finally accepting her fate.
You look at your watch.
“Oh would you look at that Odis! It’s been thirty minutes, can now have your binki.”
Odis sits on his hind legs as you place the pacifier in his mouth.
Odis flails his legs in happiness, waddles over to you then snuggles up in your lap.
You watch London pace back and forth around the room scrubbing her tongue against the carpet with a series of muffled (Hu Hus!)