Life of an ex-smarty Part 2 (UnspeakableCake)

Part 1

When I started this story with part 1, originally I wanted to have two fluffies. The ex-smarty and another one, maybe even a mare this time. I was going to have so much fun developing then independantly. But, you see, this is the stuff that makes you excited until you read things like ‘Despair’ or ‘Tiny Lives’ and realize that you definitely don’t have the writing skills for two fluffies and you barely even have the skill for one. As I said, I would love to expand on the amount of fluffies in this story but I’m just way too scared of burning my fingers on stories like that. I’m actually amazed that I even started this story because the Herd Invasion was supposed to be a one-off thing. Also these posts are seriously exhausting and it takes me about 3 hours every time to work up the courage just to hit the ‘post’ button when I’m finished writing. So yeah, I’m really afraid of posting but so far at least people haven’t hated the story so I guess I’m doing okay? Idk, anyway, here’s the next part:

“Daddeh?”, Fireball struggles to keep up with you as you walk through his saferoom to clean his litterbox, “Fiwebaww nu wan ask buh why daddeh hab huwt Fiwebawws hewd? Fiwebaww unnastan dat am smawty buh nu unnastan why daddeh gib hewd foweba sweepies. Hewd am bad hewd?” You stop in your tracks which causes the fluffy to get scared. It honestly surprises you how long it took your fluffy to ask that question. Then again, fluffies aren’t famous for being the most empathetic of creatures. “Fiwebaww sowwy! Am sowwy fow bad askies. Pwease nu be mad at fwuffy” But you’re not mad. On the contrary, you pick Fireball up and smile reassuringly. “Shhh, I’m not mad. But I thought since you were a smarty you didn’t care about your herd?” “Dat nu twue!”, Fireball interjects, “Smawties cawe fow hewd! Fiwebaww hab awways cawed fow hewd. Hab find nummies and wawas fow hewd, hab tweat aww fwuffies da same. Nu ‘poopie babbeh’ ow ‘fabouite mawe’ Fiwebaww am hab wub hewd!” (Mmhm… have I made him sound too smart again? I try to keep my fluffies as simple-minded as possible while still trying to keep the story interesting and there isn’t always a middle ground I can find. Please flame me in the comments if I fucked up) This leaves you speechless. You’ve always viewed smarties as apathetical, egoistical, rude and self-centered assholes who only get herd followings because the mares think they’re strong. Maybe you nerd to review your opinion of smarties again, maybe most of them do love their herds. You have to admit, the only real source of knowledge on how smarties work (apart from your invasive encounter) is from the internet. “I… I really didn’t know you thought so much of your herd” Dammit, thats the second time you’ve been caught with your pants down by your fluffy. Aren’t these creatures supposed to be stupid beyond belief? “It otay”, Fireball says, “Fiwebaww stiww wub daddeh” Well at least he forgave you pretty fast. “That’s good”, you allow yourself a nervous laugh, “C’mon, let’s get your litterbox cleaned up”

It’s not often something else than your social anxiety gives you stress. Today however, that is the case. You are sitting on your bed, hands pressed against your face. God dammit, you think, What is it with that fluffy? You really really love your fluffy and he has greatly helped you mentally, but he really makes you feel bad about butchering his herd like that. But also, why are you even bother? He’s a fluffy for Christs Sake! He’s dependant on you, he loves you unconditionally, why are you blowing that out of Proportion like that? Because yes, that is what your doing! You are fucking blowing it WAY out of Proportion! You slump back onto your bed. What the hell was that? It was almost as if you’d shouted at yourself. No. Like someone else shouted at you. You suddenly realize the absurdity of what just happened. You’ve never felt that before. It’s like the angry side of your brain finally vocalizing. You panic. Is this how it happens? This is how it happens right? This is how how people go insane. Before you can stress out over that any more though, you hear Fireball shouting to you from his saferoom.

It isn’t a scared shout, but more of a demanding shout, so you aren’t in too great of a hurry to come to Fireballs aid. Then again he can’t leave his saferoom so shouting across the house is his only way of reaching you. When you arrive at your fluffy’s room, he’s standing up against the railing that you use to close off the room from the rest of the house. “Fiwebaww am gud fwuffy! Buh gud fwuffy nu wan be in housie aww time. Wan gu outside.” Oh. right. Fireball had been a feral for quite some time and you are basically locking him up inside your house. Suddenly, something wells up inside you. A hunger. A hunger for abuse. “You wanna go outside do you?” “Yus Daddeh” “Really? You want to go back out there? With the monsters, the meanie humans…” “Wha?” “The alleyways, the animals… the vroom-vroom monsters?” “Nu!”, Fireball had sat down, now staring at you through the railing, “In da Teebee da nice mistuhs gu outside wif da fwuffies! Fow wawkies!” You sigh. What the hell are you doing? He’s your fluffy! You chuckle. “I’m sorry. How about this. I’ll go to FluffyMart tomorrow and get you a leash and a fluffy harness, okay?” Fireball doesn’t show the expected enthusiasm. “Wha am leesh an hawness?” You lean onto the railing. “They’re there to protect you from the animals and the monsters” Now Fireball’s eyes light up. “So daddeh gu outside wif Fiwebaww? Fiwebaww wub!” You smile, reaching down to ruffle through Fireballs mane. As much as he stresses you out, Fireball is still one of the most extraordinary fluffies you know and you are extremely lucky to have found him.

THE END of Part 2

Is it just me or are these parts getting shorter and shorter? There is no word counter that I can find. Also I’m really not sure if I’m skating around on ice I really shouldn’t be with the whole ex-smarty situation because I really don’t want to offend anyone. Please tell me if I am or if I’m just way too paranoid.


You are trully over-reacting, don’t worry! The only time I was confused was the hugbox ending (it had maybe cut too quickly? not sure)
i love this series as it’s something no one but grim and you done - curing smarty (i know there are some more stories, but this is more deep than ‘break smarty get fluffy’)
please, continue! also having more complex fluffies isn’t bad at all


Thank You! I really appreciate that and I’ll definitely continue this series


Yeah, honestly, your characterization is fine! My main piece of advice would be to use more paragraphs. Generally a good rule of thumb is to make every line of dialogue a new paragraph, and whenever you change a thought.

For example: "But also, why are you even bother? He’s a fluffy for Christs Sake! " should probably start a new paragraph; the bit before is about him having regret, but with that sentence, it’s the narrator’s other side of the argument — it’s just a fluffy.


Hay man your amazing at this I’m working on my own story’s so I understand what you feel.
Keep doing what your doing and you’ll be just fine. Keep up on the story they are good.

1 Like

Unspeakable, in talent and skill, you are amazing and you should not fret about the negative feedback you could receive and embrace the positive feedback you will receive from fellow writers. Best of luck and god-speed you magnificent person.

1 Like

Wow I… did not expect this level of support… Thank you!

You are doing so well and I’m glad that you are putting yourself out there and sharing your writing with us. Keep it up!


Don’t worry, you are also one of the people who make me self-conscious about my ability to write a story

1 Like

I’ll take that as a compliment
(BTW I’m sure your writing is fantastic, keep it up!)

1 Like


You want to write better, just write! With that, and with the help of this incredible community, you WILL improve and become better.

I, for example, did this. My skills are still bad, but I am improving … Remembering that my native language is not English (I am self-taught, but I write poorly!)

You write well, and I’m really interested in the relationship between the fireball and the owner, as well as the dynamics of the two.


So glad that you like my story so much! This is really good too – you should be more confident in your skills!

1 Like