“Babbeh wub dancies an babbeh wub huggies! Babbeh wub pway an b- H-Hewwo nice mista! MUMMAH! NICE MISTA AM HEWE! Wiww nice mista be nyu daddeh fo mummah an babbeh?”
I had just stumbled upon the dancing foal. Its mother was asleep in a cardboard box. She began to wake when the baby called for her. Dirt rained out of her lime green fluff as she walked over.
“Hewwo nice mistah!”, the mother said as she sat down in front of me, “Am pwetty mummah an dis am bessess babbeh! Am mummahs wastest babbeh bu wub aww da same!”
“So what do you want?”
“Wiww nice mista be nyu daddeh fo mummah an babbeh? Pwease, mistah? Am su cowd an hawd tu fin nummies fo miwkies!”, the mother pleaded.
“Hmmm. I don’t know. What can you offer?”
“W-wiww gib bessess huggies an wub. Gib biggess heawt happiess! Wiww be bessess fwuffies fo nyu daddeh!”, the mother said.
“Hmmm…”
The fluffy mom was sat in front of me looking up at me with big, cute eyes. The baby was rolling around on the ground trying to grab its own tail.
“OK. Follow me to your new home.”
“D-dank ou, daddeh! B-babbeh! Cum tu mummah an cwimb on baksie! We guin tu nyu homsie!”
“YAAAYYYY BABBEH HAB BIGGESS HEAWT HAPPIESS!”
The mother lied down on her side and the baby danced its way to her. He climbed her fluff and the mom slowly stood up.
“Weady daddeh!”
“Let’s go.”, I began to walk at a normal pace and the fluffy almost immediately fell behind.
“Huff daddeh! H-howd on fo fwuffies! Nu can wun as fas as daddeh!”
I turned around while walking and saw her galloping towards me. The baby had its eyes shut tight and mouth open wide in a silent scream as he held on tight to her fluff. The moms eyes were wide as she huffed and puffed her way toward me. I slowed down just a little bit.
“If you want a new home and daddy and huggies and love and skettis then you’ll have to keep up.”
“Huuhuuu, otay! Fwuffy am bessess mummah! Can keeb ub wit daddeh!”
She ran faster and faster. I wondered if she’d leave the baby if it fell. She galloped so hard and fast I could hear her fluffy hooves hitting the ground. All of this and still she couldn’t get any closer.
“Huuhuuu weawwy w-wan daddeh! Nee tu keeb ub! Fo babbeh huuu! Su tiwed! Nee huggies!”
“Keep going fluffy, we aren’t even halfway there yet!”
The fluffy started crying full force when I said that. Her eyes shut tight and head down she continued to run until her hoof got stuck in a crack in the sidewalk.
“Huffhuff Nee tu keeb guin! Nee daddeh! Nee fo babbeh! Ne- SCREEEEE OWIE HUUHUUU! DADDEH HEWP FWUFFIES HUUHUU HAB ASSIDENT! Huuuu smeww pwace hab huwties huuuhuuu! Babbeh, howd ontu mummah! Nu wet gu id am scawy!”
“Huuuu PEEP babbeh scawed CHIRP PEEP nu wike huuu-PEEP CHIRP mummah pwease gib huggies fo feew beddew!”
I stopped and turned around. The mom was flat on the ground, her head looking up at me. Her legs were splayed out but nothing looked broken.
“You look fine! Come on and stop complaining! Not five minutes and I’m already regretting taking you two in!”
“NU! NU SA DAT DADDEH HUUUU!”, the mom cried, “AM BESSESS FWUFFIES! WOOK! FWUFFY STIWW WAWK!”
The mom tried to stand and failed then would try again. I waited for about 30 seconds and she still didn’t have her legs under her.
“Alright, we-”
“NU DADDEH! FWUFFY CAN DU ID! CAN DU FO BABBEH! WAN HOMSIE WAN DADDEH! WAN WUB! WIWW SHO FWUFFIES DESERB WUB!”
The mom, with a pained look on her face, moved her legs under her torso and pushed herself up. She wobbled and stumbled on her legs but managed to stand up straight. She took one step and fell.
“Owie huuhuuu weggies huwt! Nee du wawkies fo daddeh! Nee tu mak id homsie! Can west ad homsie an hab nummies an huggies an wub! Can pway wit babbeh and hab heawt happiess! F-fwuffy am duin id! FWUFFY WEGGIES AM WOWKIN! WOOK DADDEH! FWUFFY AM CUMI- ooofff! W-wa? NUUUUUUU HUUUHUUU WEGGIES PWEASE NU DU DIS! NUT WITE NAO HUUHUUU WAS GUNNA HAB HOMSIE AN EBEWYTING! WAN DADDEH SU BA HUUHUUU!”
“PEEP CHIRP CHIRP mummah PEEP keeb guin! Am su hungy nee miwkies! Babbeh hab su many tummie huwties!”
“Sowwy, babbeh! Weggies hab tu many huwties huuhuuuuu! Nu can wun nu mo! Nu wet gu babbeh! Babbeh nee stay wit mummah! Wiww be beddew soo den can gu bak tu box housie!”
“Babbeh nu wike box housie! Nu wike tummie huwties! Wan homsie an nummies! Wan nyu daddeh! Keeb guin mummah!”
“Huuuu nu can babbeh! Wan homsie tuu bu nu can wun nu mo huuuhuuu!”
“Den babbeh weave dummeh mummah an hab homsie tu sewf!”, the baby said, sliding down the side of the mother and starting to run towards me.
“N-nu b-b-babbeh! BABBEH NU WEAVE MUMMAH! BABBEH NEE MUMMAH HUUUHUUU NU WEAVE! Huuuuu mummah nee babbeh huuuu! Cum bak fo mummah! Nu weave awone!”
“Teeheehee gun hab bessess homsie an nummies! Gun hab huggies ebweyday!”, the baby said as it trotted towards me.
I stopped until the baby could get close and began walking at a slow pace he could keep up with. As we walked away I heard the mother have a realization.
“B-babbeh keeb ub wit mistah? M-mistah wawk swower huuhuuuu nu faiw huuuuhuuuu BABBEH CUM BAK FO MUMMAH! NU WEAVE AWW AWONE HUUUHUUU MUMMAH NEE BABBEH HUUU!”
“Teeheehee babbeh am bessess wunnew! Mummah hab dummeh weggies teeheehee!”
“Yeah she does! You excited to see your new home?”
“YIS! FWUFFY BABBEH AM SU CITED FO HOMSIE! NEBA HAB BEFO!”, he cheered as we walked side by side on the way home.
He sung and danced as we walked. He talked about how much he loves his new dad and how excited he is to eat ‘fo da fiws time in su many fo’ebas’. He was blind to what would happen to him. Finally we arrived home and I opened the front door for him.
“YAAYY!”, he screamed as he leapt into the house and ran all around, “Su big! Su much woom tu wun an pway! Dis am bessess housie fo fwuffy! UPSIES UPSIES!”, he stood on his back legs with his front arms stretched out towards me.
“No upsies right now, alright. Daddy is tired.”
“O-otay daddeh.”, he said as he slowly lowed himself on all four hooves, “C-can fwuffy hab nummies? Su hungy!”
“Sure, follow me.”, I walked to the kitchen and he followed close behind, “What do you want, little guy!”
“SKETTIS!”
I pat him on the head and started making skettis. The noodles were done and I added about four minced jalapenos to the sauce. I plated it all and put it in front of the fluffy.
“MMMMM Smeww su nummie! Neba hab skettis befo! Su cited tu twy! chompslurp MMMMM! Su yummy! Dis am bes- cough w-wa? Wa am habbenen? W-wai am babbehs tawkie pawce hab huwites? D-di skettis huwt fwuffy? H-huwties am ged-geddin wowse! S-su many buwnies! SCREEEE HUUUHUUU NU WAN BUWNIE HUWTIES HUUUUU WAI SKETTIS HUWT FWUFFY! DADDEH! DADDEH! HEWP FWUFFY! SKETTIS AM MEANIES!”
“What’s wrong?”
“SCREEEE HUUUHUUUU NEE HEWP! TAWKIE PWACE HAB WOWSTEST BUWNIE HUWTIES! BABBEH NU WIKE HUUUHUUU! NEE HUGGIES FO FEEW BEDDEW!”
“You look fine. Stop complaining and finish your skettis. I worked very hard to make them for you and won’t be making you anything else tonight!”
“SCREEEE-PEEP CHIRP-SCREEEEEE HUUUUHUUUUU OWIE OWIE NU WIKE NEE HUGGIES NEE MUMMAH!”, I reached down and picked the fluffy up, “OWIE OWIE HEWP HUU- SCREEEE BA UPSIES NU WIKE! WAI DADDEH GIB BABBEH BA UPSIES? NEE HUGGIES AN WUB FO BUWNIE HUWTIES NU GIB BABBEH BA UPSIES!”
“You need your mom?”
“Huuuuu yis. Mouf huwt su ba. Huuuuuhuuuuuu PEEP huuuuu. Mummah awways mak babbeh feew beddew.”
“Well you ran from her in favor of a dad and home. Remember?”
“Y-yis. Babbeh nee mummah gain! Buwnie huwties am su ba! Nu can stawp cwying huuuhuuuu nee heawt happiess!”
“Well, you’ll never see her again. You ran and left her. She was injured and you left her behind. Now she’s gone forever.”
“C-CH-CHIRP PE-EP NU! PEEP CHIRP CHIRP! MUMMAH! BABBEH PEEP SOWWY! CUM BAK FO BABBEH! NEE MUMMAH! HEWP BABBEH! AWWAYS DEWE FO BABBEH!”
“But you weren’t there for her.”
“SCREEEEEEE HUUUHUUUUU SU MANY OWIES HUUUHUUUU! MOUF AN TUMMEH HAB OWIES AND HEAWT HAB SADDIES! NU WIKE! NU WIKE!”
“You better start acting good right now! You have done nothing but cry even after everything I have given you!”
“Huuuu nu can stawp! Mouf an tummeh hab wowstest buwnie huwties an heawt hab su many saddies! Nu can stawp! Nu wan be ba fwuffy! Am gud babbeh!”
“Doesn’t seem like it.”, I said, grabbing the FunWithFoals Abuse Kit and carrying the baby to the couch.
“W-wa am daddeh duin? Nu am ba babbeh, pwomise! Wiww be beddew! Nu mo cwying! Pwease nu punish babbeh! Am su widdle!”
“Calm down, I haven’t said anything about that. But I am going to punish you.”
“NUUUUUU! PWEASE NYU DADDEH NU HUWT WIDDLE BABBEH! AM ONWY FO HUGGIES AN WUB AN NUMMIES! NU FWUFFIES AM FO HUWTIES HUUUHUUU PEEP CHIRP SCAWY SCAWY! NU WIKE! DADDEH PWEASE NU HUWT! PWEASE GIB HUGGIES INSED!”
“You need to be punished or you won’t learn.”, I said, setting the fluffy on my leg as I sat down.
“Babbeh wearn! Babbeh nu nut tu cwy nu mo! Babbeh be bessess an happiess babbeh fo daddeh! Jus nu huwties pwease!”, he turned towards me and sat down on my leg as he spoke.
“No getting out of this one, little fluffy. Take your punishment like a good fluffy, OK?”
“Huuuhuuuuhuuuu.” it hyperventilated as it looked around the house frantically and leapt off my leg, “MUMMAH! NYU DADDEH AM MUNSTAH! MUMMAH KNU MISTAH WAS MUNSTAH HUUHUUU! BABBEH SOWWY! WAN GU BAKSIES! WAN SDAY WIT MUMMAH!”
It ran around the room, interacting with everything in a terrified but cute fluffy way.
“Mista doow! Pwease oben fo babbeh! Dis am munstah house! Nee tu wun an gu bak tu mummah! Huuhuuu wai am doow su mean huuhuuu! gasp Windo am oben! Cum on weggies, nee tu du bessess jumpsies to windo! Huuhuuu pwease weggies! Huuuu am tuu widdle to mak id huuuuu! Scawy scawy nu wan be in munstah house aww awone! Nee fin way ou’! M-munstah? P-pwease wet fwuffy gu nao?”, He ended off by walking up to me and asking to be freed. His big, wet eyes glistened up at me begging to be let go.
“No.”
“WAAAAAHHHHHHH MISS MUMMAH HUUUHUUUU NU WIKE NYU HOMSIE HUUUHUUUU! WAN GU BAKSIE HUUUHUUUU NU WAN BE STUCK IN HOUSE WIT HOOMAN DADDEH HUUUUU! AM TUU BIG FO WIDDLE FWUFFY! GIB WOWSTEST HUWTIES!”
“I haven’t done anything to you yet so calm down. Now walk over here so I can do something to you.”
He sobbed in place for a minute and looked up at me, seeing I was serious.
“O-otay, daddeh.”, he said, wiping his eyes with his hooves and then walked towards me, “P-pwease be gendle wit widdle babbeh.”
“No.” I said, picking him up and holding him down on my lap.
“Huuu owie. Nu wike nyu daddeh huuuu. Nu wike huwties.”
“You didn’t eat, you got my floor soaked in tears, and you ran from me. You ran from your father. I don’t even know what to say except”, I used my other hand to push his front left leg into his mouth, “chew.”
“W-w-wa?!”, the baby said pulling the hoof out of its mouth, “N-nu. NU! NU CAN NUM WEGGIE! DA AM TU MUCHIES! HUUUHUUUUU NU DADDEH! SOWWY FO BE BA BABBEH! BE BEDDEW FWUFFY, PWOMISE! AWWAYS WUB AN NEBA WUN FWOM DADDEH!”
“That is your punishment. You aren’t allowed to decline a punishment. Now do what daddy says.”
The baby looked up at me, terrified. Tears streamed through his fluff and little squeaks came from his throat. After about a minute the fluffy looked down and put his left hoof in his mouth again and bit down.
“PEEP OWIE HUUUHUUU WEGGIE HAB WOWSTEST HUWTIES HUUUU! NEE KISSES ON WEGGIE FO FEEW BEDDEW!”
“Aww, come here! I’ll help you.”
I picked the baby up. It looked shocked and surprised as I lifted him up gently.
“D-daddeh? T-t-teeheehee. Wub upsies. Wub kissies fo w- SCREEEEEEE WEGGIE SCREEEEEE NUUUUHUUUHUUUUU WAI HUUUUU DADDEH WAI HUWT BABBEH HUUUHUUUU BABBEH NEE WEGGIES NEE FO WUN AN PWAY! NEE TU GIB BESSESS HUGGIES! NAO NU CAN GIB FUWW HUGGIES! NU WIKE WAN WEGGIE!”
I had gone in for the kiss and enveloped his hoof in my mouth, biting it off at the shoulder. He flailed and screamed in my arms for a bit while I talked to him.
“You couldn’t do it so daddeh had to help you. Now for the other three! You ready?”
“SCREEEEEE NU! NU WEADY TU WOSE WEGGIES! WAN KEEB WEGGIES! NEE FO WUN AN PWAY! BABBEH WUB WUN AN PWAY!”
“Should have thought about that before being a bad baby.” I said, bringing him to my mouth again.
“N-NU! SCREEEEEE PWEASE! BABBEH SU SCAWED! NU DU DIS! N-NEE HUGGIES! M-M-MUMMAH PEEP SABE BABBEH! BABBEH NU WIKE NYU HOMSIE! SABE BABBEH MUMMAH AWWAYS DEWE FO BABBEH! WHEWE AM MUMMAH HUUUHUUUUU SOWWY FO WEAVE BEHIN HUUUUUU WANNED NYU HOUSIE AN DADDEH SU BA HUUUHUUUU!”
“Here it comes!”
“NUUUUUUU SCREEEEE NU HUWT WID- SCREEEEEEE WAAAAAHHHHHH HUUUUHUUUUU NUUUUUUU WAI TAK WEGGIES! NEE FO WEN BIG FWUFFY! NEE FO FIN NUMMIES FO FAMIWY AND GIB HUGGIES! WAI TAK- SCREEEEEE OWIE OWIE NU WIKE PWEASE GIB WEGGIES BAK AN GIB HUGGIES! WIWW BE GUD BABBEH WIWW NE- SCREEEEEEE HUUUHUUUU WASTEST WEGGIE GU BYE BYE HUUUHUUU NUUUUUU!”
“All done!”, I said, taking the clips from the foal abuse kit and clipped the stumps then set it on the floor, “You are a good fluffy again!”
“B-sniffbabbeh am gud gain? Nu hab tu hab mo huwties?”
“Yep! Now go play!”
“Y-yayy fwuffy f-feew widdle beddew. Gun hab su much fu- w-weggies? WHEWE WEGGIES HUUHUUUUU! AM GUD FWUFFY!”
“I took them, remember?”
“HUUUU YIS BABBEH MEMBEW BU AM GUD FWUFFY NAO HUUUUU! GUD FWUFFIES GED WEGGIES BAK HUUUUUU!”
“I ate them. You aren’t getting them back. Even if I wasn’t digesting them I wouldn’t be able to reattach them. You are a no weggie fluffy forever.”
It lied on the floor, stunned. It actually thought being a good fluffy would magically give its legs back. He frantically looked around letting out short ‘huus’ with every turn. The clips were moving around on his stumps as he tried to run from his current situation.
“Huu huu huuuuuuuu nu nu! NU! DIS NU AM HABBENEN! AM AWWAYS GUD BABBEH! NEBA WOSE WEGGIES WIT MUMMAH! MUMMAH WUB WIDDLE WEGGIES! KNU FWUFFIES NEE WEGGIES HUUHUUU HOOMAN DADDEH AM WOWSTEST HUUUUU NU KNU HOW TU WUB FWUFFY HUUUHUUU!”
“Well you aren’t wrong but when your dad or mom is a human the rules are different. You have to do less than you would in the wild so you can go without certain things.”
“NU CAN GU WIDOU’ WEGGIES! NEE FO EBEWYTING HUUUHUUUUU!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll still feed you and all that. You won’t be completely helpless.”
“Daddeh hewp fwuffy pway and gu tu wittaboxie? Gib bessess nummies an wet wach FwuffyTeeBee? Cawwy fwuffy wit daddeh aww da time? Babbeh scawed witou’ weggies. Wan be wit daddeh awways!”
“When you put it like that I don’t think I’m going to keep you.”
“W-wa?! Daddeh nu wan fwuffy abter taking weggies way?! P-pwease daddeh! Tak cawe ob fwuffy! Fwuffy su scawed nao! N-nu weave fwuffy awone! Su scawy! Nu can du anyfing huuuhuuuu!”
“Yeah I think I might just put you outside or something.”
“NUUUHUUUHUUUU BABBEH NEE DADDEH! NEE NAO MO DEN EBA HUUUHUUUU! NU WAN GU FO’EBA SWEEPIES HUUUHUUUU! NU CAN MOBE AD AWW NEBA FIN NUMMIES OW NYU HOMSIE! NU GED WID OB BABBEH WIWW BE BESSESS! PWOMISE!”
“Bestest how? Look at you.”, I said and picked it up.
“SCREEEE NU DADDEH! WUB BABBEH! GIB HUGGIES PWEASE HUUUHUUUUU! BABBEH NU WIKE DIS! AM SU SCAWED HUUHUUUU NEBA DU ANYFING WIKE DIS BEFO HUUUHUUUUU AM JUS WIDDLE BABBEH HUUUHUUUU NU CAN DU ANYFING WITOU’ WEGGIES!”
“You’re just another baby fluffy. You won’t be missed so don’t worry. Maybe the garbage disposal.”
“SCREEEEEE MUMMAH SABE BABBEH PEEP CHIRP NU HAB WEGGIES NU MO! NEE HEWP! SU MANY HEAWT SADDIES AN HUWTIES HUUHUUU SU SCAWED! MUMMAH! WHEWE MUMMAH!”
“You left her for being a dummie leggie fluffy, remember?”
“HUUUUUHUUUUUUU YISSSSS AM SU SOWWY MUMMAH! PWEASE SABE BABBEH! BABBEH AM DUMMEH WEGGIE FWUFFY NAO HUUUHUUUUU SOWWY FO WEAVE MUMMAH! NU WET BABBEH GU FO’EBA SWEEPIES!”
“Actually I thought of something better!”, I said setting him back on the kitchen counter.
“Huuuu babbeh cowd. Nu wike coundew on fwuffy tummeh. Huuhuuuu.”
I rolled him over with one finger and slowly started to press it down into his fluffy chest.
“Huuuu nu woll fwuffy! Nu wan bewwy essposed! Huuu nu wook at speshul wumps huuu embawsing! N-nu! Nu pus’ anymo! Huwties huuhuuuu hawd tu mak bweathies huuhuuu! Daddeh hewp fwuffy! Nu du dis! Wub fwuffy! cough DADDEH NUUUUUU! MUMMAH! BABBEH AM AWMOS FO’EBA SWEEPIES! SABE BABBEH FWUFFY NU WAN DIE! HEEWWWWPPP! HACK SCREEEHEEEEHEeeeeee daaddehhh! Pw-eeesee weht guuuu! Nu can mak gud bweathies! Nu wan be wike bwuddas an sissies! Su scawy wooking ad dem huuukhuuuukhuuuuk!”
The last ‘huuhuus’ were also the last of his breath. He tried to breath in and screamed silently. He mouthed ‘nu wike’ ‘sowwy mummah’ ‘babbeh scawed’ ‘nee bweathies’ ‘scawy scawy’ ‘nu wike dawkies’. He finally passed out and I held down a little longer to make sure he was gone. Once I was sure I pushed him off the counter and into the trash can excited for the next baby I would cross paths with.
