Meet the Medic (By: Cryptidrancher)
I’mma be honest with you guys. Idk what the fuck did I wrote 
///
“S-scawy docta m-mummah?.. C-can fwuffy won won too fou’ hab weggies back p-pwease? W-wan wun and p-pway…”
Dr. Maria Colorado sighs as she holds her hand to her forehead, the mug in front of her still brewing nirvana in a cup as she contemplated her predicament. The red, legless nugget was shivering on her sterile operating table while it’s temporary prosthetics laid on a table next to it.
Her office a mere renovated garage in a questionable neighborhood.
1124. Did she really went through that many test subjects? Did she really try that many times to make the impossible, possible?
A ding from the brewer broke her train of thought. Sipping the cup of black coffee, Maria thought long and hard why she was even continuing this endeavor of mad science.
Actually that was a lie, she didn’t need to think long and hard at all. She knows exactly why she’s doing this.
To give the less fortunate a chance. And to stick one up that disgusting corporate entity that started this whole mess to begin with.
The Ex Veterinarian stewed in her bitterness as a jumble of complex biological formulas and her memory of being blacklisted from every possible career involving her doctorate ran through her head.
They weren’t giving these things the chance to recover. “Just buy a new one! Nobody wants a broken toy right?”
Toys don’t cry in pain, stew in grief or practice self preservation (as best they can, she’s a realist). But they got replaced like one and thrown into the incinerator.
What was the point of her job then?! Play pretend doctor and tell them to get a new one if it walks with a slight limp?! Everyone else may be complicit, but not her!
Her doctorate meant something and she was going to practice it. No living thing deserves the fate of a obsolete product.
Once finished, Maria put her mug back underneath the brewer and sat next to the operating table. Her hands ran through 1124’s back as she kept trying to figure out this enigma in front of her.
She’s adopted every pillow fluff from the shelters, often for free as she is freeing inventory space for them. Only really paying for the food and interactive toys they need.
Pillowing. So barbaric and medieval when you think about it. She couldn’t help but 3D print a few sets of prosthetics, might as well make their last days comfortable if they’re going to go under the knife. Still doesn’t feel right rotating the prosthetics to the next in line after one goes to skettieland. Not even when seeing the next fluffy being ecstatic of having a turn of leggies.
As Maria continued petting 1124 she glanced at the nubs of where his legs used to be. There just had to be a way.
“Scawy docta mummah? Won won too fou’ wan ask if can hab babbehs? Hab speshaw fwiend dat is no weggie fwuffy wike won won too fou’. Gib speshaw fwiend weggies too so can hab speshaw huggies fo’ babbehs?”
As 1124 started droning on about reasons for why he and this mare should be parents, often citing being good fluffies who make good poopies and following the rules, the cogs in Dr. Colorado’s brain started turning. And suddenly, “Eurethra!”
Quickly swiveling her chair she pulled a makeshift operating curtain in front of 1124 before making her way to her mini fridge. Fluffy stem cells! Of course! If this doesn’t work, nothing will!
Maria felt stupid realizing how late she considered this idea, but hey no better time that the present. Opening the fridge, she fishes around the labeled ziplock bags of organs, samples and insta meals, finally retrieving a freeze dried bag of fluffy afterbirth. It had come from a mare who was pregnant before she adopted it, and while she was able to give it’s children homes and an extended use of the prosthetics, she couldn’t really use her as a subject so she is currently sitting in the living room on her own bed. She might not have to anymore.
As she started putting the other labelled bags back into order, a decapitated yellow unicorn head puffed it’s cheeks out, it’s neck attached to double A batteries.
“Dummeh Hooman! Gib Sketties Nao!”
“No.”
Closing the fridge door, scaring the smarty with sudden darkness, Maria swiveled back to the operating table. With liquid caffeine running through her veins, she starts assembling her equipment into the prototype.
Her operating light pushed to the side as she pulls a metal arm device into view from the ceiling. The ray now pointed straight at 1124 as she opens a cylindrical cavity before dumping the afterbirth inside. Flicking three switches on and opening a panel with a big red button, Maria grins as the machine starts revving to warm up.
1124 on the other hand is terrified, “EEEEEK! NU! NU WAN! NU WAN SOWWIE STIK! SCAWY NOISIES! HEWP! DOCTA MUMMAH! HEWP FWUFFY!”
Maria merely cackled as she flips 1124 belly up so that the ray pointed at his stomach. Her glasses shining from the red light emanating from the device of impossible machinations. The lights from the garage and the rest of the house flickering, making a pillowed mare in the living room cry out in fear, she was sure her power bill is going to sting this month.
Watching a dial on the side of machine reach a 300 written in sharpie, Maria pressed the red button, her arms guiding the beam through 1124’s torso and hip region.
“SKREEEEEE! BUWNIE HUWTIES! NUBS HAB BUWNIE HUWTIES! EEEEEK!”
1124 wiggled and cried as he felt his nubs calloused tissue turn raw. As he screamed and cried, his nubs started extending with new flesh and bone tissue. The new limbs stretching and bending to the appropriate shape and proportions of a fluffy. Soon enough he was kicking the air with those very legs as he continued to protest what was no doubt an uncomfortable procedure. At the very end, his hoof pads were the last thing to form as he kicked at the air on his back, a pile of scaredy poopies next to his rump.
Maybe she should’ve corked him first.
But who cares?! It was a success!
1124 continued to sob as he felt the raw sore flesh that was just recently formed. Instinctively reaching up to his eyes to wipe away his tears and cover them for comfort. Maria watched in anticipation as 1124 continued to “huuhuu” at what was probably a traumatic experience. After a full two minutes of 1124 not noticing the new change, Maria mentally slaps her forehead.
It’s a fluffy. Of course you have to point it out.
“Hey, 1124. Can you please look at me? I got a surprise for you.”
1124 sniffles as he tries to quiet his crying, removing his hooves from his face he does a double take at them.
Shakily he lifts them up in view, despite being very sore his little peanut brain knows what he’s feeling is very real. Pain is always real.
Tears leak quietly from his eyes as he looks over his new limbs, his frown slowly forming a dopey open mouthed smile as he bends his joints and moves his shoulders. Only when he does a sitting tapping dance does he notice his back legs also grew back.
And in that moment you can’t deny that there is no happier creature on earth than that fluffy.
The second happiest has to be a Dr. Maria Colorado. Her cheeks are starting to hurt, but goddamn did she one up the egghead’s who made these things in the first place. This could revolutionize the entire medical field, the end to certain disabilities, maybe even entire diseases with it’s potential. And all because she believed fluffies deserve a chance to recover.
As 1124 shakily stood up and giggled at having a feeling of locomotion, Maria walked up to him and scooped him up. Cradling him gently, she is bombarded with nuzzles and promises of all the “Foweba Wub and Huggies.”
Now knowing her fruitless venture bore a harvest, Maria walked 1124 back to the pillow safe room. She does need to know who his special friend is.
///
The Fluffmart stood quiet as it barely opened for a few minutes in the wee hours of 6 AM. The teenage employees groggy as they start setting up their stations and rotating old inventory for new ones. The Hasbio assigned manager barking orders on how this new generation doesn’t know real struggle while his had to work for everything. Completely ignoring the fact that he’s a middle manager for Hasbio.
It was at this moment an old electric work van parked rear first in front of the Fluffmart. A few employees groaned at a customer coming so early in the day when barely anything was set up. Those groans quickly turn to confusion as they watched the back doors open.
From the back came out a 5’3" platinum blonde Latina woman. Wearing a white spotless lab coat and red surgical gloves, business casual button up shirt, pants and shoes. A stethoscope hung around her neck, and a giant backpack that looked more like a portable generator hung from her back. All while carrying a red fluffy in a baby harness on her chest as other fluffies come spilling out into the parking lot. Her aura seemed to physically glow behind her as she stood there, but it was just the sun peeking over the horizon.
It was the most majestic, yet cursed sight anyone can witness.
So surreal was it that nobody pulled out a phone to record such a sight. Everyone just stood there, mesmerized at the sight of what has to be a cryptid.
At this reaction the lady smirked in complete confidence before announcing her mission.
"My name is Maria Colorado! I was a veterinarian in this very clinic with a doctorate to prove it! I was hired to save these creatures and to do my fucking job! But you Hasbio assholes want people to buy a replacement for a pet, a family member instead of giving them the chance to even try their treatment! This is for you Ron Dirkson! You could’ve just fired me, but you crossed the line when you blacklisted me puto pendejo!!!
The Hasbio manager jumped at the mention of his name. He’s fired a lot of people lately and seeing this crazy fluffy lady isn’t ringing any bells.
“I’m sorry ma’am but I just need to ask. Who are you exactly?”
Maria’s face dropped the smirk into utter contempt.
Quietly, yet confidently she started walking towards the buildings entrance. Her herd babbling innocently as they look around the parking lot and waddle in curiosity. As the doctor triggers the jingle of the store, the manager, Ron, finally snapped out his stupor, and yells at his employees to stop her as he pulls out his cell phone to call 911.
One teenage boy stood a good foot taller than her, yet as he approached her and put a hand on her shoulder, Maria just grabbed his shirt and pulled him in while kneeing his groin. “Sorry kiddo, but nothing personal.”
The rest of the staff still stood frozen as they witnessed Bobby the quarterback fall like an oak tree. One girl took off her hat and threw it over the counter, “Fuck all this, I quit.”
It was only when Ron shouted again did the rest of the staff started to approach Dr. Colorado. At this her passenger, 1124 screed to the herd. “Hewd! Sabe Majik Smawty Mummah!”
The herd from outside hearing their magic leader mummah is in danger enter the store in a frenzy. “NU HUWT MAJIK MUMMAH!” “GIB SOWWIE HOOFSIES TO DUMMEH HOOMANS!” “HEWD SABE BESTEST MUMMAH EBAH!”
The teens recoil back at the tidal wave of fluff forcing it’s way into the store. The amount of fluffies managing to knock them over along with some display pieces as they crowded the foam and tile flooring. The manager cussing up a storm as it seems like nobody can handle fucking fluffies!
In the chaos of all this, Maria Colorado managed to reach the back of the store with all the kennels. This store did not have the fluffies up front, rather behind a see through wall to keep people from damaging the merchandise of what could be a big sale. Making her way to the less desirables, Maria stood as she looked at the cages full of pillow fluffies and litter/enfie pals.
Most look at her then look away, resigned to never getting adopted or being used for disgusting purposes.
Not today.
Making eye contact with a gray pillow, Maria points her medigun towards it and flips the safety off, only to then pull the trigger.
“EEEEEK! NUBS! NU WIKE! NU WIKE!”
The rest of the kennels scree and defecate at the pillows expense. Some are preparing to resign themselves to a horrific fate, while others continue pleading to whoever can hear them to save them.
The red glow dissipated as sobs continued to wring out of the cages. “Nao fwuffy hab weggies agin! Jus wike won won too fou’! Not a dummeh no weggie fwuffy no mowe.”
At this the whole kennel gasps in shock. The red fluffy was right! The gray ex pillow wiggles her new tender legs. Her leggies came back! Just like meanie not daddeh said they would!
The room was suddenly filled with the cries of “FWUFFY NEXT!” “FWUFFY WAN WEGGIES TOO!” “PWEASE GIB WEGGIES NUT MUMMAH! NU WANT SKETTIES OR TOYSIES! JUST WEGGIES!”
Dr. Maria Colorado grinned maniacally as she pointed to the next one and fired.
///
Maria decided to stop by her old workstation, examination room 2 and set some things up nicely for Hasbio to clean up. Opening a storage closet full of oxygen tanks, Maria moves them over to the small kitchen area in the break room. Quickly stuffing as many as possible into the oven before turning on both the oven and the stove. The blue fire illuminating her glasses nicely.
Quickly running toward the front of the store, she makes sure there are no stragglers still in the store, all the cages have been emptied including the non pillow ones and there were no other employees except for the ones at front. The fluffies running outside after being told five times what to do or they’ll get burnie hurties from the meanie housie. As she made her way out she stopped near the register at the back of the store near the clear wall. The store completely empty besides her and two new faces. The entrance blocked by two police officers. Her van in sight and her herd corraled into a fluffpile near her van.
“Uh oh stinky majik mummah.”
“Yup 1124, uh oh stinky indeed.”
“Ma’am I’mma need you to drop whatever the hell is on your back and put your hands in the air.”
Maria slowly raised her arms up before ducking behind the counter. The officers just looked at each other before approaching with caution. This is just another crazy lady with a fluffy rights obsession.
Maria quickly unstrapped 1124 from the baby harness, setting him down before looking him in the eyes. She knows what she’s about to attempt is a long shot. Its barely been tested, but there was no way out and the place was going to blow.
“1124, remember that I told you that you’re mummahs toughie?”
“Yes mummah! Bestest toughie fo bestest mummah!”
“Good cause I’m gonna need you to give those meanie humans sorry hoofsies.”
“Sorry hoofsies to hoomans mummah? Bu… Am onwy fwuffy…”
“Don’t worry. I can get rid of your hurties with magic remember, I know you can do it. Mummah trusts you.”
That seemed to do it as 1124 started snorting and tapping his hooves against the ground. With a face full of blind loyalty and fierce determination, 1124 nods yes before running straight toward the first officer in his sight.
Now with his back turned, Maria quickly points the medigun at him before flipping a switch on the side of her pack. The machine roars to life with a burst of sparking red. The red beam traveled towards 1124 just as he jumps up to headbutt the officer in the gut. At contact, 1124’s fluff and skin glowed with crimson energy, the vibrance resembling polished copper.
The officer flew 20 feet out through the display window at the front of the store, denting the parked police cruiser on the hood.
The other officer stood stunned as he sees the furball being just as shocked as he is. Quickly shaking himself off, he unholstered his department issued gun and starts unloading the clip onto the freak of nature.
1124 let’s out an “eeep!” , and covers his face with his hooves as the rounds bounce off him. Eventually only clicking is heard.
1124 uncovers his eyes before looking at the flattened metal on the floor near him. The human scared shitless as his hand shook while trying to aim at his head.
1124 starts giggling as he starts waddling towards the officer. The man in question stumbles back, in complete FEAR of a fluffy.
The red earthie breaks into a short sprint, and jumps up to also headbutt the man in the gut.
“FWUFFY AM INVINCIBLE!!!”
///
The Beater van peeled the fuck out of there, dropping off the unconscious law enforcement officers at the perimeter of the standoff. Maria merely gave Ron the bird before burning rubber.
Nobody couldn’t seem to recall her name. Just her appearance and her mission.
It was too surreal.
Nobody spoke at the perimeter. The employees just took of their hats and handed them to Ron. Ron Dirkson just accepted them quietly, this day just couldn’t get any worse.
…
…
…
…Perhaps not this ti- KABOOOM!!!
There it is.
///
As Maria Colorado was hitting 70 on a 45, she pulled away the platinum blonde wig to reveal black hair. She needed to make her rendezvous point and ditch the work van for a black SUV she had parked earlier.
The herd and it’s new members chattered loudly at the back. 1124 sat on the passenger seat, exhausted but in complete bliss. She really needs to think of a name for him.
As she pondered for ideas she suddenly swerved as she felt the big kaboom she left for Hasbio. The herd cried about “heaw pwace huwties” but she quickly put a children’s song into the infotainment system. It seemed to work calming them back down.
As she continued to drive, Maria decided to take a quick glance at the smoke and flames against the rising sun. It’s light peering onto the driver seat of a fluffy crusader.
Casting a halo onto a fluffies angel. And Hasbio’s devil.