Hello Minecraft Community!
So as you know it’s our tradition every year to give users a choice. To make the three stupidest mobs we can and post them to a poll on twitter! Once on twitter literally any retard can vote for the stupidest fucking thing to add to the game you enjoy!
And this year? Man did we outdo ourselves!
The three options were:
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A new end mob to really flesh the place out and make it worth exploring.
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A new cave mob that will make mining a more interesting experience.
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A fluffy that eats and shits everywhere.
Of course our great twitter users voted the fluffy! So may we introduce:
THE FLUFFY UPDATE!
And you better get used to it, because as soon as this update drops all previous versions of the game become unavailable!
So what is a fluffy? A fluffy is a retextured pig brand new passive mob slightly larger than a wolf. A full grown fluffy will have 5 hearts, or 10 hit points, and come in randomly generated colors.
SPAWNING
Fluffies will spawn on just about any land biome with a light level of 9 or higher. You can find them in the wild, hidden in nests and crevices. They can also gather around lava pools at night due to it being the only light source around (leading to some fiery deaths). Though they can be found near water sources, they cannot swim up and will drown when in the water.
Most will either spawn alone, with a special friend, a few foals, or both. Occasionally they can spawn in herds of 3-20, led by a smarty. All members of the herd will follow the smarty wherever he wanders.
Fluffies will spawn in four races:
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Earthies are stronger than the average fluffy, and therefore are the only ones which can damage you. Each hit does half a heart, therefore making it possible (though difficult) for a fluffy to kill a player. Should this happen to you, the game deletes your world, since you’re clearly not good enough to have it.
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Unicorns can be identified for the horn on their head. They have a much higher chance of becoming or spawning as a smarty.
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Pegasi can be identified for the small wings on their backs. Unlike other fluffies, they have no fear of heights, meaning you can take them up high structures or mountains without issue. This also makes them more prone to attempting to fly. Unfortunately their wings are non-functional and any drop higher than 5 blocks will instantly kill any full-grown fluffy.
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Alicorns can be identified for both their horns and wings. Though rare, they can make good pets as they’re much easier to tame and exhibit the bravery of pegasi without the suicidal tendencies. Unfortunately, other fluffies will by default be hostile to them, seeing them as “monsters”.
And lastly, fluffies don’t despawn.
BEHAVIOR
As you know, fluffies are at the bottom of any food chain, wherever they are. In the wild they are preyed on by wolves, ocelots, and any other hostile mob. In fact, hostile mobs will prioritize killing the fluffy, even if a player is within sight, guess they have a hate boner for those things too!
Should a fluffy see a player, they will run up to you and ask you to be your new “Daddeh” (if you have a male skin) or “Mummah” (if you have a female skin). They will continue to beg and pester you until you either give them food or punch them, in which case they will run away crying.
Fluffies that spawn near a player’s house will also be drawn to the player. They will wait at the player’s door, or if you have crops nearby, will eat those. Should you leave your door open, the fluffy will wander in and begin searching your chests for food to eat.
You can tame a fluffy by giving it a name tag, but they’ll start following you around as soon as you feed them. Fluffies can move the usual walking speed, but cannot sprint. Should you run too far from your fluffy, it’s likely to wander about and die to something else.
Every two minutes, a fluffy will drop a button-sized brown brick called a “poopie”. These can be collected and used as short lived furnace fuel, or alternatively, force-fed to a fluffy. You can also eat the poopie, restoring 0.5 hunger and poisoning you for 30 seconds.
If you don’t like having poopies littering your house, you can craft a litterbox with 5 planks and gravel. Arrange the planks in a U shape, and place the gravel in the center. You can place the litterbox down and instruct the fluffy to use it. Litterboxes can hold up to 10 poopies before they’re full, then the fluffies will again drop poopies eveywhere. You can stop this by periodically checking the litterbox and mining out the poopies with a shovel.
As an alternative to a litterbox, you can make a “litterpal”. To craft a litterpal box, arrange 5 wood in an upside down U shape in the crafting grid. Next you need a pillowed fluffy, which can be made by right clicking a fluffy with an axe (this also gives you 4 fluffy legs, which can be cooked and eaten). Right click the pillowfluff with a litterpal box and they become a litterpal. Litterpals can be picked up with a shovel and moved elsewhere, consuming the poopies of other fluffies until they expire in 10-30 in-game days.
As far as feeding goes, fluffies will eat any type of food in the game, including some new ones. Kibble can be crafted with wheat, a bowl, and any other food type. Kibble will usually fill a fluffy up, but they may get tired of it after awhile. Sketti is a fluffy’s favorite food, and can be crafted with a bowl, wheat, a diamond, and beetroot (for sauce, tomatoes will be added in the future). When fed sketti, fluffies will emit hearts and enter a happy state for awhile. Its important not to feed this to them more than three in-game days in a row, otherwise they could become a…
Smarties are a more rebellious version of fluffy. Often seen leading herds in the wild, they will demand nummies and sketti from any mob it happens to find, including you. When inevitably denied, they will fight the mob, though this obviously fails as most fluffies can’t harm any mob other than other fluffies. Smarties which attack a hostile mob are put down pretty quick.
For disciplining a fluffy, we’ve added the “sorry stick”. The sorry stick is made by simply putting a stick into your crafting table. The stick does no damage, but will repress a fluffy’s bad behavior. Another way to combat this is to trap them in a small sealed space with no light, a “sorry box” if you will.
Fluffies born brown are called “Poopie fluffies”. Poopie fluffies can be found in the wild alone like any other fluffy, if in a herd they will be seen eating the herd’s dropped “poopies”. As foals, they will rarely receive milkies from their mummahs, instead eating the family’s poopies. Poopie fluffies are recommended as litterpals, as it takes them less time to begin eating the poopies of your fluffies.
BREEDING
Fluffies do not need any specific food to breed. If a mare and a stallion are together and unobstructed, they will preform “special huggies”. (DISCLAIMER: Minecraft fluffies are not an appropriate replacement for your child’s sex-ed.) After which, the mare becomes pregnant. At first it can be hard to tell if a mare is pregnant, though a bit later she will begin to talk about “tummeh babbehs”. After two in-game days a mare’s body becomes bigger, to the point where she becomes immobilized.
When three in-game days have passed since special hugs, a mare will give birth to a random assortment of 1-8 foals. Newborn foals are unable to move, except to get milk from their nearby mummah. All foals are born with half a heart of health, and can be killed with a simple punch. If born brown, they become “poopie babbehs” and the mummah will rarely feed them milkies. If born an alicorn, the mummah will immediately try to kill it.
If right-clicked by the player, a foal will be picked up and added to the inventory. When placed in a crafting table, a foal can be crafted into a “dead foal” for other purposes. If you wanted to raise a foal yourself, simply pick it up and take it. You can place it down anywhere and feed it fluffy milk, which can be obtained by right clicking a nursing mare with a bucket.
Mares can also be turned into milkbags or breeding units for the purposes of foal-making. A nursing mare can be pillowed with an axe and become a milkbag, just remember to feed her. A breeding unit can be made by pillowing a mare and have a stallion nearby to give her special huggies. As the mare is unable to move, you can place a hopper directly behind her to collect her foals for things such as…
A foal in a can is crafted with 2 iron ingots, a glass pane, a bucket of fluffy milk, and a foal. These can be sold to the new “breeder” villager for varying prices: 1 emerald for a brown foal, 5 emeralds for a regular foal, and 10 emeralds for an alicorn foal. Alternatively, you can buy existing foals in cans from villagers and wandering traders. Smaller villages will now spawn with tamed fluffies, sometimes with foals of their own. Bigger villages may have “mills”, where breeder villages reside, inside you can find already set-up breeding units and milkbags.
Wild foals will usually be born in fluffy nests, and sometimes be left alone when their mummah goes foraging, making them extremely vulnerable to hostile mobs. If a mummah is travelling somewhere new, or with a herd, the foals will crawl on her back, and stay there unless the mummah is hit, in which case they fly off. Mummahs can easily kill their foals by walking over them.
After three in-game days, foals grow to become colts or fillies. They can now eat solid food and will stray from their mummahs more often. They will follow their mummah when she ventures out, and if the mummah is trained to use the litterbox or litterpal, the babbehs also will. It’s also at this point smarty syndrome will become evident.
After seven more in-game days, colts and fillies become full-fledged fluffies.
DROPS
Fluffies, like sheep, can be sheared for their fluff. It takes 5 in-game days for their fluff to regrow. Fluff can be made into decorative blocks in the same way as wool.
When killed, a fluffy will drop 1 fluffy meat, and 1-3 poopies. Fluffy meat can be cooked and restores 3.5 hunger.
Live or dead foals can be placed in a furnace and made into a “cooked foal”, which restores 2.5 hunger.
TEXT
We’ll be honest, we have way better things to do than record fluffy sounds all day. All fluffy dialogue will instead pop up as text above their heads, colored corresponding to their coat:
“[Custom nametag] wuv nyu namie!” - Fluffy after being named with a name tag. (The r’s an l’s on the nametag are replaced with w’s.)
“CHIRP” - Newborn foal.
“Huu…” - Can be heard often, especially when being chased by hostile mobs.
“SCREE!” - Can be heard often after being hurt.
“BUWNIE HUWTIES!” - When set on fire.
“NUU WAWA BAD FO FWUFFIES!” - When in water or when raining.
“Sky wawa pwease gu 'way!” - When raining.
“MUNSTAH MUMMAH!” - When hurt by female-skinned player.
“MUNSTAH DADDEH!” - When hurt by male-skinned player.
“BAWKIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a wolf or dog.
“HISSIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by an ocelot or cat.
“GWEEN HOOMIN MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a zombie.
“BONIE SHOOTIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a skeleton.
“GWEEN BOOMIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a creeper.
“SANDIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a husk.
“WAWA MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a drowned.
“MAGIC MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a witch.
“FWYING MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a phantom.
“STICKY MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a slime.
“BUGGIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a spider, cave spider, or silverfish.
“TAWW BWACK MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by an enderman.
“STONE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by an iron golem.
“BUWNIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a blaze.
“CWOUD MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a ghast.
“PIGGIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a pigman.
“BWACK BONIE MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a wither skeleton.
“FWYING SHOOTY MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by a wither.
“BWACK FWYING MUNSTAH!” - When hurt or chased by the Ender Dragon.
“Wan die!” - When reduced to half a heart of health.
“Nyu mummah?” - If a fluffy sees a player with a female skin.
“Nyu daddeh?” - If a fluffy sees a player with a male skin.
“Hoomin hab nummies?” - Fluffy asking for food.
“Hoomin hab sketties?” - Fluffy asking for sketti.
“Dummeh hoomin! Dis smawty wand nao!” - Smarty meeting a player after finding crops.
“Dummeh hoomin! Gib fwuffy sketties!” - Smarty or rebellious fluffy.
“Good poopies!” - Fluffy using a litterbox.
“Good wittapaw!” - Fluffy using a litterpal.
“Wai take weggies?” - Fluffy after being pillowed.
“Poopies nu taste pwetty…” - Poopie fluffy eating poopies.
“Fwuffy wub sketties!” - Fluffy after being fed sketti.
“Mummah wuv soon babbehs!” - Pregnant mare.
“Dwink miwkies!” - Nursing mare during feeding.
“Nu take babbeh pwease!” - Mummah when picking up a foal.
“Meanie mummah/daddeh!” - When hit with sorry stick.
…and much, much, MUCH more that we couldn’t list here. If you have any more suggestions feel free to post in the comments.
So that’s the end of our fluffy showcase. The FLUFFY UPDATE should be done dropping right about now, which means all previous versions of the game are locked for good. Stay tuned for next year’s mob vote options, which will hopefully be even poopier!
ADDITIONAL CHANGES
- Removed Herobrine.
