Fundraiser commission for @Rampage
Day: 9
Journal of Steven Silverman
(Dictation taken by Dr. Yasmina Singe, due to illiteracy of subject A-2.)
The men in the white coats call me Steven, but only Ma calls me Stevie. I like “Stevie”, it sounds like a friendly name.
The pretty brown lady in the white dress thingy said that I was “medically retarded” when I came here a few days ago, and that she can fix my broken brain place with tablets. I think it might have been a week. Remembering stuff like that is hard for me.
I get upset when people call me mean things like the “retard” word. Ma says I’m just “special”. I don’t feel special. I feel like only Ma likes me like I am. I want everyone to like me.
The nice doctor lady, Doctor Singh, she says that the tablets will fix the bad part of my head.
I like Doctors Singh, she’s pretty, and has a very pretty looking bum
(redacted by Doctor Singh for inappropriate statement)
I am kind of lonely here. I am always lonely, but even more lonely here.
Doctor Singh gave me a friend, a white fluffy called Algernon. I like him, he’s silly. He dances, and plays, and gives really nice hugs. I want to play with him some more, but Doctor Singh says that Algernon has to sleep after he takes his tablets too.
She says that we’re going to be fixed together, so that we can be smart friends.
-–
Day: 9
Journal of Dr. Yasmina Singh
As of now, no solid change in either subject A-1 (Algernon), or subject A-2 (Steven). As stated on day one, Steven suffers permanent brain damage due to oxygen deprivation from a childhood incident involving a pair of tongs, a plastic shopping bag, two litres of Gak, and a deck of out of print Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Any other attempt to fix his crippled neurology has been met with utter failure by lesser institutions, and so, with the consent of Mrs. Silverman, her son is now in my skillful hands.
If predictions are correct, noticeable changed should begin to pick up, and CAT scans will be scheduled on a daily basis going forward.
-–
Day: 10
Journal of Steven Silverman
(Dictation taken by Dr. Yasmina Singe.)
Today was another day of nothing. I don’t like the pointies. The doctors always give me sharp pointies and take blood away. They say they aren’t being meanies, but I think they are lying.
I peed a little today because I got scared when they put a big machine thingy around my head. They said they were “scanning” me, but I think they just like me being scared.
Algernon was brave too. He’s my friend, even if he made a bigger scared peepee puddle than me.
-–
Day: 10
Journal of Algernon
(Dictation taken by Dr. Yasmina Singe.)
Hewwo, am Awg-ew-nun. Nice poopie docta wady saysie dat am gun tuwn Awg-ew-nun intu biggest smawty.
(Statement redacted due to offensiveness)
Awg-ew-nun wike id hewe, da sayf woom am aww white, wike Awg-ew-nun am.
Wat Awg-ew-nun wub mostest am nyew fwend. Stevie am bestest hoomin! Wub! Wub su muchies! Stevie am wike hoomin, bu am wike fwuffy! Wub!
Awg-ew-nun am su happies. Nebah hab fwuffy-hoomin fwend befowe!
Docta wady saysie dat “scannies am gud. Am showin’ pwo-gwess.” dem am big dummeh human wowdsies. Dey mayk Awg-ew-nun head huwties… Make feew wike dummeh, nu wike. Wan be smawty awwedy.
-–
Day: 11
Journal of Dr. Yasmina Singh
Success! Both Algernon and Steven have begun attempting to sound out words at a late preschool grade reading level. This is a remarkable step forward for science and the medical industry.
Algernon has begun questioning as to why he is doing things and acting on more than mere impulse. He also appears to be slowing his reaction time to stimuli. At first we would have assumed that this was merely a side effect of the medication in action, although it appears more likely that he is actually stopping to think about his actions before taking them. Promising results, to say the least.
Nothing particularly impressive as of yet, as far as developing literary skills, but soon enough, I’m sure I may even get him to read an entire page of a Roald Dahl book
As for Steven, his hand-eye coordination and finer motor skills have increased significantly, unfortunately this has come with the discomforting side effect of him discovering his genitals with a horrific sense of enthusiasm. Unfortunately, we cannot simply turn off the cameras to his bedroom during this observation period, and once again it will fall upon me as head researcher to review the footage a day after.
It is times like this that I wonder if I should have followed my father’s advice and simply worked in a call centre, stereotypes be damned.
-–
Day: 12
Journal of Steven Silverman
(Dictation taken by Dr. Yasmina Singe.)
Doctor Singh says that I’m getting smarter, but I don’t feel smarter. She had me and Algernon try and read from a book about a chocolate factory. It was still really hard, but I’m trying.
Algernon is doing real good, I think he’s a really smart fluffy now, he even remembered to close his mouth when breathing. I’m still working on that.
Docter Singh says that my head is more “complex” than Algernon’s, so the tablets are “working faster” for him. I don’t really understand why that works or how that works, and I’ve been getting some really big headaches since two days ago, but he seems happy, so if my friend Algernon can do it, then so can I.
P.S: Maybe when I’m smart, I can ask doctor Singh out on a date? Do doctors go on dates? What kind of food do they eat? Doctor food? I’ve never been on a date before but they always look nice on TV.
(Statement redacted by doctor Singh for personal reasons.)
-To Be Continued-