Josef and Ricky were not sold on Izzy’s makeshift ‘Fluffy Miniature Golf Course.’
Mainly because it was just an otherwise empty field with a variety of grinders, mulchers, and other means of reducing things to small pieces set up.
Ricky pinched the rim of his nose and closed his eyes.
“Okay, run this by me again”
Izzy was pointing around the field.
“I got every pillowfluffy from the shelter and the ones you were keeping your backroom to use.”
“I thought I took the key to my office back.”
“I made copies.”
“I changed the lock.”
“Your janitor is underpaid.”
“He’s my cousin.”
“That makes it worse that you’re underpaying him, not worse for him to be selling you out for a hundred bucks. Anyway, I’ve got the fluffies all corked and ready so let’s start golfing.”
Josef interjected.
“How is it miniature golf? Where are the golf clubs?”
“We’ll be using these sledgehammers.”
“And doesn’t golf involve hitting the ball multiple times to get it in the hole?”
Izzy threw up his hands.
“Fine! If I call it something else will you two stop nit-picking and play? I did not pay Ricky’s cousin to cork all these fluffies just so we could stand around arguing.”
Josef shrugged.
“Okay.”
Picking up a sledgehammer he lined up his shot. The pillowfluff in front of him was faced away from him and had no idea what was about to happen to him.
“Johnny wan weggies back!!”
Josef swung, only to try to jerk back his swing as Crimson ran up in front of him to grab Johnny. Unfortunately Josef was unable to stop it fully and Crimson took a sledgehammer to the nuts.
Doubly unfortunately for Johnny, Crimson bit down hard due to the pain he was in and Johnny’s lower half was in Crimson’s teeth during that time.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! SPECIAW WUMPS, NU-NU STICK!!! NUUUUUUU!!! WOWSTEST HUWTIES EBAH!”
Crimson slumped to the ground and Ricky hurried over to examine him.
“Okay, the good news is it’s not permanent.”
“And the bad news?”
“You’re going to have to deal with Crimson holding a grudge when he wakes up.”
Izzy pulled a vial out of his pocket and uncorked it under Crimson’s nose.
“There, that should wipe out the last minute of his memories when he wakes up. Just don’t tell him how he actually got his junk hurt.”
Getting back to the game Josef lined up his shot and swung again. Johnny went sailing through the air into a nearby mulcher. Unfortunately for Johnny he went in groin-first and it was on it’s lowest setting.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Josef nodded approvingly. Izzy made a mark on the scoresheet.
“Okay, that counts as two strokes. Ricky’s next.”
Crimson woke up to severe pain in his genitals and opened his eyes to see Ricky holding a hammer. He made a reasonable but incorrect assumption.
“YU!”
“Fortunately even with his strength born of anger and psychosis Crimson was still a fluffy and so Ricky’s leg wasn’t torn off completely and was able to be reattached with surgery.”
That’s not what happened. Stop narrating, Izzy.
Crimson eventually calmed down after being convinced that what happened to him was an accident and that none of the trio had purposefully hit him in the balls.
The rest of the day was spent smacking fluffies into various grinding machines and a good time was had by all.
Author’s Note: Social media is a worse invention than fluffies would be. Also golf is stupid because mini golf is vastly superior and wastes way fewer resources.