Num the Bubblegum [Mr.Jingles]

You love gum. Ever since you were young you’ve been a fan of it. Especially bubblegum. It might be rough on your jaw in large amounts but the different textures, shapes and flavours make it a treat to pick some up from the shops.

Now they say humans aren’t meant to swallow gum, it’s bad for your digestive system, and you agree. However, no one seems to have let the Fluffy Ponies know. Yes Fluffy Ponies, the manmade child friendly invasive species with a life expectancy smaller than the Dodo. If not for their rabbit/rat like breeding they’d have all just keeled over from their awful survival instincts concoted from the stunted DNA of so many creatures mixed together to be a fragile biotoy for rich ponces that now are a menace to everday life.

So one day after trying to enjoy yourself in the park, a fucking fluffy snatched your pack of gum while you were on your phone. It was ling enough that the fat little thing had already managed to waddle into the bushes.

“HEY! What the hell?”
The fluffy tried shifting into maximum waddle speed to try and shuffle under the bush, it’s blue ass and pink tail wiggling trying to fit with its poorly proportions drumstick legs.
“EEEE, nuuu fwuffy nee’ wun! Nee’ nummies for famiwy, pwease meanie gwass houwsie wet fwuffy in!”
You were getting sick of these stupid things stealing people food, pooping all over the park, taking large bald spots out of the grass, and now the little mistakes stole your gum…hey wait a second…while the park traps just get worn out or avoided and more babies keep getting shat out by the survivors…what if they were given something that the idiots would eat that has no nutrition and would fill their stomach?

“Oi stupid!”
The fluffy fell backwards out of the bush crying, the gum packet still in its mouth.
“Huhuhuu fwuffy sowwy! Jus’ su hungwy and nee’ giv nummies to famiwy!”
“Yeah shut up a second, listen those…nummies? They’re a special kind of food that I can give you if you want, but you need to bring all your friends out here.”
“W-weawwy? Nu wyin’ tu fwuffy?”
“Sure, see these nummies only work if you eat them with your friends, all you need is a few of them your tummy will feel all full”
The blue and pink fluffies eyes lit up at the magic you were promising like a monorail salesman.
“Otay mistah, fwuffy gu’ ged aww fwiends and famiwy! Eweybuddy cum ou’! Speciaw Nummies! Speciaw Nummies!”
He waddles off into the bushes, and in the meantime you dig into your backpack and grab out your 30 different packs of bubble gum because it’s normal shut up.

No sooner had to sorted out the gum that a bunch of fluffies started pushing out of the bushes, multicolored babbling wobbly pests.
“Okay fluffies, now that you’re all here, I present to you the Special Nummies, it’s called Bubblegum! You guys hungry?”
The fluffies start cheering and dancing and hugging each other.
“Yay! Nummies fow’ fwiends! Nummies fow’ babbehs! Dank yu mistah!”
You start throwing the little nubs of gum among the little pea brained dopes, like feeding the ducks but with more shoving and falling over. They started scarfing it down.
“Mmm su yummy, om nom nom, weaw chewy, nee’ mowe”
They chewed and swallowed, getting about six or seven pieces per each of the 15 or so fluffies, you almost felt a little bad when the weened foals were being given the gum by their parents, but you know they’ll just become like the rest of these overgrown furbies.

After they had finished pigging out on the gum, made your way out of the park and went about your day. By the time you came back from your errands in the afternoon, you could hear the sweet sound of groaning and hu huuing from the park. The fluffies were all hugging each other or lying on their sides or doubled over from the pain in their poorly designed tummies made for kibble, spaghetti and grass.
“Uhhh huhuhu why tummy huwties? Fwuffy gabe tummy nummies su’ why feew owwies?”
Some of them started throwing up from the pain, and eventually they started trying to poop. “Uhghhh wai’ poopies nu’ cum ou’? Pwease cum ou’ mummah and babbehs nee’ tu poooScreeeee!!!”
They start straining so hard that their usual gassy liquid shotgun poop was stuck by the gum moving like concrete.

Eventually the strain is too much on their dumb little bodies, that their eyes pop out of their heads, their buttholes prolapse along with a giant wad of gum, and the foals, oh the foals just start exploding in front of their dying parents. To say the gum did what you wanted would be selling it too short. By the end the only one left alive is the blue and pink fluffy, lying at your feet crying while curled up like a fuzzy croissant.
“Hggnnn whyyy fwuffy fwiends gu foweva sweepies huhuhuu Aghhnnn tummie huwties! Speciaw Nummies nu wowk!”
“Oh no I told you you’d only need a little bit to fill you tummies, I never said you could poop it out dumbass!”
“Nuu nununu ou’ twick fwuffy, fwuffy gon’ giv ou…SCREEEEE!!!”
The last fluffy stared up at you with his eyes bugging out of his head, shaking violently as his entire butthole gets farted inside out along with of all things a fucking pink bubble hanging off the end all behind him before dropping dead.

You then pop a piece of tropical flavoured gum in your mouth and walk off home.


Wonder what happened to the babies. Also wow, little dummy who stole the gum tried to do something to mr. Gum at the end like a dumbass.


This has got me imagining an unholy combination of coca-cola and gum. Get them adults to pop like the babbehs.


Num the gum and lose your bum!


No milk, no babies.

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