Dave baked joyously under the summer sun. Back against his towel that was adorned in the motif of countless anime girls in a state of carnal ecstacy.
As much as Dave loved his seven XXLs, he needed the occasional bout of ‘me time’ to keep it together. The fuckffies were currently off at daycare, being someone else’s problem. All Dave had today was relax, and relax he would.
Occasionally he’d look up and peer through his aviators to take a peek at the passing beauties, or if not, watching as everyday people passed by and imagined what their lives might be like.
“Goddamn, I love the beach!” he smiled as he sipped from his water bottle, only to find the container had run its precious cargo scarce to a droplet.
After grabbing a beignet, a vanilla ice cream and a soda from a seaside vendor, he returned to his perversly themed towel to continue basking under the auralian glow.
All seemed so well, so lovely, so pleasant, and then he heard it.
“Hewwo nice mistah!”
A green stallion with messy pink hair smiled, punctuated with a violently wagging tail. Upon his back was a plastic bucket.
“Hello buuuuuddy~.” Dave smiled, “What’s your name?”.
“Namsie am Muwphy!” he giggled.
“That’s a pretty human name for a cute lil’ guy like yourself.” Dave chuckled, “Kinda charming though… So, what can I do you for, Murphy?” he asked.
“Can Muwphy nut un yew, mistah?” he said so nonchalantly.
“I beg your biggest fuckin’ pardon?” Dave said, eyes wide, barely able to process the request.
“CAN. MUWPHY. NUT. UN. Y-…” the stallion repeated until Dave’s hand muzzled his request.
“Aight, aight, I heard you. Pipe down already!” he shushed the fluffy, looking around with grave uncertainty. “Now, I’m gonna take my hand away, and you’re gonna explain what you mean.”
“Muwphy hab buck’ed fuww ob nut. Muwphy hab bin gettin nut aww da beite timsies wong an am wookin fow nice hoomin tu nut un.” Murphy explained.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Alright, lemme see the bucket.” Dave sighed.
“YAY!” the green stallion giggled as he handed the bucket over.
“Ha… hahaha… hahahahahahahaha!” Dave cackled as he looked down into the plastic pale and saw a collection of cashews, peanuts, chestnuts and the like.
“Do me a favour; never ask anyone else if you can do this ever again.”
“But dis am Muwphy jobsie!” he said sadly.
“Well ya better quit it.” Dave warned.
“Wy?” the little pig-rat-horse-thing asked.
“because if you don’t, then someone might decide to nut on you one of these days.”
“NU!” the stallion panicked.
“Hell, I might just nut on ya right now.” Dave chuckled as he licked his ice cream with one hand, reach into the bucket with the other, pinched out a nut and lightly pressed it directly on top of the stallion’s nose.
“There, see how you like it.” he smirked playfully.
The fluffy stared at him, this was the closest Dave had gotten to the weird little creature. It’s stared at him with eyes that brimmed with calculation and then one sudden sharp move, it lunged for his ice cream, getting most of his face covered in the sweet vanilla goodness.
Murphy flipped around on a dime and began wailing at the top of his lungs.
“EeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HEWP! HEWP FWUFFY! BAD MISTAH NUT UN FWUFFY! HEWP! BAD HOOMIN!” he screeched and cried in a total tonal and behavioral shift that left Dave reeling in a state of bewilderment, shock, and embarrassment.
Suddenly, officers of the law appeared, dressed in casual garb, but were quick to produce their badges.
“So, you like public indecency, do you?” one of them said.
The image was damning:
A fluffy, covered in sticky white fluids, crying and begging for safety and pointing to a six foot black guy laying on a degenerate beach towel.
“Fuck…” Dave let out.
“C’mon now, big guy, let’s hash this out at the station.” one of the officers said calmly.
Dave’s eyes were locked solely on the little fluffy and something boiled inside of him that he normally had a very good handle on, rage.
“You little asshole!” he roared at the stallion, reaching forward and wrapping his fingers around the stallion’s neck, squeezing with all of his might.
Murphy’s eyes bulged and panicked, darting around as they began to be shot with blood. He beat his little hooves against Dave’s wrist and wordlessly begged to be saved from the scary human.
A tazer to the wrist caused just enough of a spasm in the beach bum’s fingers for the treacherous little turd to escape.
“Now you’re in deep shit.” an officer said is he tried to hold Dave to the ground, “assaulting an officer is a serious offense.” he added.
“I didn’t do shit to you!” Dave hissed.
“Not me, officer Murphy.” The cop illuminated.
“Fuckin’… what?” Dave said in genuine shock as he looked over to the green stallion, who reached into the bottom of the plastic pale and pulled forth a fluffy sized officers cap, to which he proudly popped on his head.
“IMMA KILL THAT FUCKER! YOU SET ME UP, YOU LIL’ SHIT!” Dave exploded.
“Tawkies tu da judge, dummeh.” he said, sliding on tiny sunglasses as Dave was dragged off to the squad car.
-Two Weeks Later-
“FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOWWWWWW, WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY~” the cops at the precinct smiled in absolute delight as the tiny green officer received his retirement cake and congratulations.
“Five years on the force, a whold third of his lifetime dedicated to helping us meet our arrest quotas.” the chief constable proudly declared as he gave a hearty pat on the stallion’s back, knocking his face slighty into the icing of the cake.
“So, what do we do with him now?” A sargent inquired.
“We got all WE need out of him, Smith. It’s up to Murphy if he wants to go to that ‘S.A.F.E.’ no kill shelter on the other side of town, move in with one of you queers, or try his luck on the streets.” the chief superintendent laughed.
“Wan moove in wid officew Wewis!” He said, pointing to the curly headed tomboy, gum chewing in the corner of the office.
“Don’t we all, buddy!” officer Smith winked as he lightly elbowed the stallion.
“Suck my dick, Smith.” Lewis chuckled, punctuated with a blown out and popped bubble.
“Cawefuw, Smiff wouwd ib Wewis hab wun.” the the Green stallion laughed, causing Smith to retract shyly into the collar of his uniform.
The party ended, everyone said their goodbyes and Lewis took her new roommate down to the parking lot on the other side of the street.
“It ain’t much, but I got some cold pizza and a wicker basket full of old pillows waiting for you.” Lewis admitted as she began brushing the old soda cans and chip packets away from the clearly seldom used passengers seat of her beaten up old sedan.
“Dat am otay, Muwphy nu cawe. Am jus gun hab fun being nowmaw fwuffy naow.” he smiled tiredly.
The stallion heard the faintest noise and scent, too faint to be picked up by a human.
“Well, hop in.” Lewis shrugged.
“Wun sec. Muwphy nee gu tayk peepees in dat awwey obew dewe.” he fibbed.
“Aight, be quick though. Wouldn’t want an officer strolling by and nabbing you for public indecency.” she chuckled.
“Oh hawhawhaw.” he teased back.
Once he got far enough that he knew Lewis wouldn’t be able to hear him, he called out down the deep of the alleyway.
He knew he shouldn’t really be doing this, he knew he shouldn’t be going anywhere alone now that he’s just a regular fluffy, and he knew that it really wasn’t his job anymore, but he couldn’t help but feel an odd sense of civic duty.
“…hewp…huuhuuhuuuuuu…” A mare sobbed from within an old washing machine sized cardboard box.
“Am yew otay?” he asked.
“Nu… Sum dummeh fwuffy huwt Victowia daddeh.” the mare replied.
“Dat am su saddies… Muwphy am sowwies…” the stallion said sympathetically.
“…Yew shud be…” she said in a much colder tone.
The ruby red XXL mare in expensive lingerie left the shadows of her box to reveal herself to the ex-officer.
“Dang… Mawe am BIG. Ib mawe am dis big, nu wan see da bad mistah dat huwties big mawe daddeh.” he chuckled nervously.
“Victowia am wookin at himb.” she hissed.
Murphy turned, attempting to run out from the mouth of the alleyway, from whence he came.
Murphy felt his heart pounding in his throat as the silhouettes of six more equally large fluffies stared him down from the entrance, all of which baring hateful expressions.
“Yew fuq wid da wwong daddeh…” Victoria growled as she motioned for her family to close in.
-The End-
brilliantly done I didn’t expect that twist!
