Having concluded my investigation into the feral population of New York City, I had planned to investigate rumors of particularly aggresive fluffies near Pitssburgh. However, I was forced to amend my plans due to receiving reports from Kansas regarding the formation of a megaherd. I immediately scheduled a flight to Kansas City International Airport. From there I drove the rest of the way to a small town by the name of Lancaster, towards which the megaherd was apparently moving.
Having met some colleagues from the NISC, we headed out to observe the megaherd via helicopter. Some 10 miles from town, we spotted it. A massive multicolored mass moving slowly across a wheat field. The exact number of individuals making up the herd was impossible to discern, but our preliminary estimates ranged anywhere from ten to fifteen thousand fluffy ponies.
Eventually the herd stopped moving, and individuals began feeding on the wheat plants around them. The particular field belonged to Johnson Farmers Inc. and the ensuing devastation of their wheat crops no doubt amounted to millions of dollars in lost revenue.
Following our observations from the air, we contacted local authorities as well as representatives from the Department of the Interior, in order to arrange an emergency intervention. If the megaherd was not stopped, it would continue to consume large swaths of wheat crop, causing severe damage to not just the local economy, but to the national as well. Kansas produces the most grain out of any other state, and drop in production could have devestating consequences.
Conventional methods of fluffy removal however are useless when it comes to megaherds. Due to the sheer population size, extermination by hand is entirely impractical. Dispersal of toxins via aircraft was also ruled out due to concerns regarding potential contamination of the water table, as well as the agricultural produce itself. In the end, fire was deemed to be an acceptable method of extermination.
As night fell, the megaherd stopped in order to sleep. With their target now stationary, crews of workers began digging firebreaks around the fluffies, to limit the spread of fire. Nets were also spread in order to prevent any fluffies escaping and similarly spreading fire. One this was done, fires were started around the herd.
Eventually individuals on the periphery of the herd’s perimeter noticed the fire, and began to make warning vocalizations to the rest. As these vocalization slowly spread from the edges to the center of the herd, the fire quickly spread. A lack of rain in the region had left the wheat plants exceptionally dry and susceptible to fire. It was not long before the herd was entirely surrounded by fire - fire which was quickly spreading to engulf individuals at the periphery.
Once the first fluffies began to burn, it did not take long for the rest of the herd to follow. Left with nowhere to run due to both firebreaks as well as nets, the panicking individuals ran aimlessly, only spreading fire further. Within only 15 minutes, the fire had spread far enough as to engulf nearly the entire herd, with only a smattering of individuals still unharmed near the very center. Within another 5 minutes, they too were engulfed.
After only one hour, the entire megaherd was nothing more than a great mass of burnt corpses. The cleanup itself would last for much longer, and require a much greater investment of time, money and manpower. While the fire had destroyed a sizable amount of crop, this was considered an acceptable loss compared to letting the megaherd continue to consume it.
The issue that lies at the core of this incident, is the exact nature of how megaherds form. The mechanics of megaherd formation are still largely unknown, and thus our ability to prevent damage caused by such herds is extremely limited. It is the recommendation of me, as well as my colleagues in the field, that the NISC must invest heavily in further research on the formation of megaherds.
Estimated population of megaherd based on observations: 10 000 - 15 000
Threat to local environment and wildlife: High
Government intervention priority: High
Observational Report on Invasive Species - “Fluffy Pony”
U.S. Department of the Interior - National Invasive Species Council
Field Investigator Thomas Brown
