A relatively average man, about 5’10, brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin, clicked on a video camera which was facing him. He looked at the red light, showing it was recording, and nodded. He took a few steps back and revealed he was in a large white room. Fluorescent lights flooded the darkest corners, and only a cold metal table sat to his left. There were some objects on the table, but the camera couldn’t see them very well.
“Welcome to my first video recording of my experiments. I am Doctor Hans Von Reunsberg. (fake person, made up the name, if it just so happens to be someone’s name, I apologize and do not mean it as you) I have been employed by the United National Coalition of Governments to do research and study on the nature and life of the bioexperiment created by Hasbio a few decades ago, Fluffies. To start let me define and describe fluffies. These creatures are miniature horses, modeled off of the children’s television show, My Little Pony. Hasbro was going bankrupt, so in a last ditch effort, the company funded research and creation of animals that would look, act, and sound like the animated horses of the show, made into bite size characters, marketed for little children. This resulted in terrible genetic defects, such as fluffies typically being unsuited for life outside of the homes of humans. Their speech is nothing but baby babble, their intelligence is less than that of a ten year old human, and they are genetically programmed to be cuddly, cute, defenseless, and well - as the name implies - fluffy. Most posses neon colored fur, complimented by neon manes, which can barely keep them warm in moderate climates. Their hooves are made to be genetically softer leather, about as soft as human fingernails rather than horses hooves. They retain fat easier than most creatures, which render the versions that possess wings, as useless as those without wings. Some possess a horn, but the horn is mostly for looks, and I have yet to see a successful use of said horn by a fluffy. There are four types of fluffies. Earth, Unicorn, Pegasus, and Alicorn. The average mare or stallion possess no special traits other than whatever personality they gain. Unicorns possess the horn, pegasus has the wings, and alicorns possess both.” The scientist paused, turning to the table and looking down at the objects. He nodded as he grabbed a white piece of chalk and carted in a green chalkboard, which was out of view of the camera.
“Now, I will be breaking this instruction into four parts. Information of the creatures which I will cover in this recording.” The scientist began writing on the chalkboard, making a category for each block of instruction. “As I said, general information and known facts shall be explained first, but I will not be spending a lot of time on it, because that is not what I was tasked with. After lesson one, I will move onto theory questions, which will lead us into dissection, and finally ending with a conclusion and answer to said questions.” The scientist quickly erased the board and looked to the camera. The scientist took a deep breath. “Now… let us begin lesson one!”
“Some breeds of fluffies view others as threats or monsters to the herd, regardless of age. Mothers will kill these foals after birth, or abandon them, similar to cats abandoning the runt of the litter. Except these runts are usually ‘Poopie colors’ described by them. In reality, these colors are anything like black, brown, darker shades that don’t pop out at you.” The scientist made quotations with his fingers. “And the Alicorn is especially rare, because most mothers as well as fathers fear the Alicorn, resulting in them both attempting - if they are feral, succeeding - in killing the offspring. If the offspring are able to make it past their infant stage, they grow exponentially fast, and move on to the chirpy stage, where the foals will begin making noise, in sorts of strange peeps and chirps, odd for creatures modeled and designed after horses. After three weeks post-birth, the offspring will begin to grow more into their personalities, as well as their fur and manes, this is described as Weanlings. From Weanlings they will grow into fillies and colts, essentially teenagers, this is when the creatures begin to become sexually active, more personable, and grow into near adulthood. Finally, they reach mare or stallion, fully grown, begin looking to have children of their own, own nest, yet they still cling on to childish tendencies such as wanting to only play, love, cuddle, sleep, and eat. These creatures are the fastest aging creatures known to man, and grow into adulthood at two months after birth. I personally believe that this is due to the fact that if the creatures were to take longer to grow, the population would have ended by now. Instead the population skyrockets like rat populations. Mares can have anywhere from two, to a whopping ten offspring, but most mothers die from childbirth after eight. Their fragile bodies can not handle the stresses of that many children.” The scientist turned again to the chalkboard and started writing. "Now, we shall get into the different personalities off each fluffy. "
“There are currently eight known personalities. As described by the fluffies themselves, but in english, not in fluff speak; Smarty, Best, Sensitive, Exploring, Poopie, Dancing, Dummie, and Neutral/normal. Each fluffy can receive a different personality or overlaps from two different personalities, according to their circumstances growing up, influences from their litter mates, and parents. We shall break them all down now. Smarty; Some fluffies describe themselves as smarties, and will use the herd to demand food from humans or other fluffies. These fluffies are described by owners and random poll respondents as ‘Annoying, pompous, and spoiled.’ Typically the Best personality trait can coincide with Smarty, as the mother makes the offspring feel special enough, favors it, and feeds it, so it feels better than the rest. The Exploring trait occurs when an offspring is particularly adventurous, and manages to bring back something of value to the herd, mother, or plays with blocks better than most. Sensitive is a foal who is extremely sensitive to criticism, loud noises, and fairly antisocial, they cling to their parents in every situation and their mother coddles them. The Dancing trait is typically adopted when the sensitive baby or bestest baby is coddled by the mother so much, it dances to the songs the mother sings, a topic which we will touch on later. The Dancing baby will think it is the best baby in the world, and will do it as much as possible, even when bargaining with a predator for its life. The Poopie baby is a very sensitive baby, but does not have the Sensitive trait, it is scared, almost never survives adolescence, and trusts anyone who gives it love, because it has been depraved of it. The Dummy trait is a horrid trait, but very rare to find. Most Dummies are kept out of pity, and sometimes even a punching bag by the herd. Finally, the neutral has the best traits from all seven traits, but is mediocre at all of them.” The scientist finished drawing on the board and showed the board to the camera.
“Moving on from personalities, we will get into mannerisms of adults and Fillies and Colts.” The scientist erased the board and began writing on it again. “We won’t go that much further into detail, but give a general outline, as I have hit the major points earlier in this instruction. From their adolescence, the fluffies will grow into Fillies and Colts, who will begin to develop a sex drive and an urge to reproduce. These creatures have a sex drive like humans, and sometimes have intercourse for the sake of having intercourse. Some of the only mammals known to do it for pleasure other than Humans. This results in rape in some feral herds, and in extreme cases, some herds will attack other herds, and rape the offspring. Truly horrid behavior…” The scientist paused for a moment, and then began soon after. “From this stage in life, they will finally enter adulthood, and focus on breeding children and the survival of their children. They look for places to settle for periods of time, which often result in nests in alleys in cities or bushes and caves in forests. Males will find multiple females to lay with, and lead a herd, which can consist of any number of fluffies, but there is typically a main fluffy that leads the herd, and has the best looking fluffies as his mate.” The scientist finished writing out his explanation and looked at it, shook his head and erased it all.
“I apologize, I am starting to ramble a bit… Let me loop us around to the last few points and that shall finish our introduction, and we can begin asking the questions I wish to answer in the next year.” The scientist said, writing on the chalkboard yet again. “Fluffies sing songs to their foals to help raise them as a sign of love and a sort of call to make sure all of their children are healthy and safe. Singing for them is often off key, grating, and can ruin human psyche. Some South American gangs have been known to use recordings of fluffies as form of torture. Fluffies also love eating spaghetti. For some reason that is their favorite food, perhaps a genetic reason, we do not so far understand. Fluffies are annoying to the public, breed like rats, clean themselves like cats, act like average domesticated dogs, cats, rats, bunnies, sometimes horses. This genetic anomaly, known as the fluffy, is a strange beast to tackle, and I intend to answer as many questions about it as possible.” The scientist turned around and faced the camera. The white board had more rambling on the chalkboard, his handwriting illegible.
“This begs many many questions, and I hope to answer them all… Thank you for watching tape number one of an indiscernible amount of them, and I beg you continue watching them, seeing as these tapes could be forever discarded if proven… useless.” The scientist smiled sadly. “Doctor Von Reunsberg, Biological Scientist, and Experimentalist.” The doctor shuffled forward and shut off the recording tape.