you are a reddit abuser
you plan on “killing the fluffy god and sending their souls to the apocalypse.”
this random jumble of stock phrases means something to you
somehow become adept at astral projection
decide to kill a fluffy and try and hang onto it’s soul
you drop the dagger through it’s skull disappointed you can’t make it suffer more
you grab onto the skreeing soul as you ascend into the astral realm of Yetzirah
the soul is sucked out of your grasp as you find yourself overwhelmed by the smell of spaghetti
the soul flies up and with a zap joins a constantly shifting aurora of colors
the being which you can now tell is a giant featureless fluffy begins to glare
“Ou am meanie mistuh?”
it’s voice isn’t deep but it has serious reverb and volume as if an infinite amount of fluffies were speaking at once
“Yeah shitrat! I’m gonna kill you!”
you ready your astral knife as the thing just snorts before glowing even brighter
FLuffy Kadmon is looming over you as your knife blows prove ineffective
yeah fuck this
“Uhhh actually I’m sorry! I’ll be good! I love fluffies now!”
the thing stops glaring and smiles before reaching a stubby hoof at you
“Otay.”
you try and flee but are now being vaccumed in as the world becomes white and formless
you wake up, it’s wet and warm
there’s something red on your hand
oh shit is that blood?
you stick your hand in your mouth
marinara
you reach into the ground hoping to find a floor
it’s just warm and wet and stringy
the closest thing you could compare to is
pasta…
oh no
you feel a soft pomf on your pant leg
“Hewwo Mistuh! Wan pway?”
you flail over readying your fist only for it to harmlessly bounce off
“Siwwy mistuh! Gib Huggies”
this rouses the others as every fluffy within a mile begins to rush towards you filling every direction with bright colors, shit brown and a cacophony of inane babble
you try to beat em off but it’s no use
even when you fling them they just sort of gently float off
a pegasus you kicked actually came back for seconds as she “Wub fwying gaem!”
you break down in tears which causes the huggies to intensify
as you fall on your kness and await a death which will never come…
Based on an actual reddit comment
I come here for the suffering. And sweet Satan provides!
Don’t use magic for such frivolous things. Never, ever get involved in the supernatural because that’s the only circumstance where fluffies ever get the upper hand.
So you are telling me that mambo jumbo in the beginning was an actuall quote and that someone on a full seriousness said it?
I don’t really follow your headcanon but I’ll say this, assuming the existence of parapsychological phenomena fluffies if actually sapient would leave an extreme impact on the psychic landscape of our planet. Not only are there tons of em dying and fucking (both activities that release buttloads of psychic energy) but they are so homogenous in many structures of their personality and thinking that there’s almost no “psychic interference pattern” meaning any encoded beliefs from fluffies, (Skettiland, Jellens) is amplified by the thoughts of other fluffies.
@Mr_Owl Yes, unfortunately. Reddit fluffy culture is incredibly cringe worthy, to the point where I firmly believe people should have to post content on this site before they can comment.