There was a knock at the door. The man went to answer it, peering out a metal slit he saw a delivery driver walking away. He opened the door and saw a cardboard box with holes in it. This was the fifteenth this week, and it was only Tuesday. He grabbed it and quickly shut the door behind him. “Wet smawty owt of sowwy box ow smawty gib yu wowstest huwties!”
His name was not important, he bought the property with a forged identity and payed the rent with a large sum of embezzled money skimmed from an online payment processor hidden as a rounding error on transactions. It was a former animal testing research lab with a large collection of soundproofed kennels. For now, lets call him the researcher.
He plopped the box down on a sterile metal table, slipped on a surgical mask, and ripped the pull tab. A kick pushed the end of the box open. “Finawwy!” The Blue smarty with white mane stepped out and stared up. “Dummeh gib smawty sgetties nao!”
The man pulled the invoice out of it’s plastic sleeve that held the shipping label on the outside. He ignored the stallion’s demands. He flipped through the pages until he found what he wanted. Fairview Fluffy shelter. Stallion, blue, 2 years old, fixed, reason for surrender: smarty, name: Colgate. How original.
“Last chance. What’s your name?” The researcher asked the smarty. “Dummeh nu wisten! Am smawty! Gib sowwie poopies!” He turned to point his rancid asshole at the researcher. hurk A hand inside a latex glove clamped firmly around the Smarty’s throat.
“If so much as a single drop touches me I will rip your no-no stick off and shove it so far up inside your poopie place that you’ll taste shit.” The Smarty nodded quickly as his peripheral vision slowly turned dark. The hand released and blood started flowing back into what passed for a brain.
He had registered the building as a behavioral rehab center, not a complete lie, and sent out advertisements to shelters nationwide offering to take any smarties off their hands while paying shipping costs. Most of his arrivals had been from overwhelmed no kill shelters. This one was from a municipal kill shelter and didn’t realize how lucky it was to be spared the needle.
He roughly spun the smarty around on the table inspecting it for any apparent injuries for shipping. Content to not hear any cries of pain from his cursory bending of limbs, he scruffed the smarty and carried him over to the industrial sink. “Bad uppies! Wet smawtie down!”
He acquiesced to the smarty’s demands and dropped him into a prepared bath of cold soapy water. splash “COWD WAWAS! SABE SMAWTY!” The stallion flailed helplessly as the hand returned and grabbed his scruff again. A painful jet of water came down from above as the other hand manipulated a nozzle to remove any flakes of poop from his fluff. He was ripped out from the water and plopped back down another table.
He shivered pathetically. “M-meanie h-human. g-gibe s-smawt-ty w-wawm b-bed an s-sget-ties…” Not barking this time but still making demands well beyond his ability to enforce. He was met with a commercial blow dryer on full heat too close to his face. “WOUWD BUWNIES!” he cried as the hot air scalded the skin around his eyes, nose, and lips. He turned away and buried his face under his sopping wet hooves. The heat began to burn his lumps and butthole. He raised his tail in fear to poop only for the free hand to grip if firmly and yank him so that he was suspended upside down like a bat.
“NO POOPING” the researcher barked again. The hot air rushed through his belly fluffy, now burning his nipples. Male fluffies still had them like almost any mammal but they were virtually never visible under all the fluff. Real stallions didn’t have nipples but a fluffy was only superficially a horse. Their genetic base was something else entirely.
Colgate did the only thing left to him which was scream helplessly. Eventually he went from sopping wet, to damp and was dropped at the other end of the table where water hadn’t been dripping. “Ok Colgate. Let’s set the rules. No-” A renewed defiance interrupted. “Nu am cowgawte! Am Smawty!”
The hand darted for his throat, but Colgate cowered before it could land. “No interrupting, No demands, No sorry poopies, No sorry hoofs, No enfs, No skettis, No herd, No…” As he ran down the list the smarty became inconsolable. He may as well have said ‘No Fun’ and left it at that. He stopped listening about halfway and was huuhuuing into his hooves.
The hand scruffed him again and he was voided forcefully over a trash can before being plopped on a third table. The researcher grabbed a gun device and tagged the Stallion’s ear. “SCREEEEEEEE WOWSTEST HUWTIES!“ It was fortunate he was wearing earplugs, after yesterday he felt like he was developing tinnitus. At least he got the process down pat and wouldn’t need another hour-long shower to get rid of the stench of poop.
The smarty tried voiding it’s bowels but couldn’t. Scruffed again he was carried into another room, this one lined with big metal boxes. Colgate felt like he could faintly hear other fluffies crying but couldn’t see them. They approached one of these boxes and he was roughly dropped inside. A hand pointed, “Food. Water. Only make poop or pee in the grate in the back. Break the rules and I will break your legs.” The black plexiglass door was slammed shut.
Colgate ate all his entire days’ worth of food in one sitting. When he had recharged his shit batteries, he sprayed the mean door with poop. He instantly regretted it as the floor sloped slightly towards the back and it all slowly dripped back to where he slept. He would get the hose tomorrow morning when the researcher went to refill his bowl.
The researcher looked around, the kennels all had blacked out windows except for a little clear spot at the top where he could peak in, he couldn’t let them see each other before the experiment, the soundproofing kept them from talking but the occasional screams and cries from the dark sorry boxes were unavoidable.
He had another eighty-five to fill before the experiment could commence. He heard another knock at the door. That was probably the main courier with several hand trucks worth of no kill shelter deliveries. He went off to receive them and repeat the process again. By Sunday he could start.
