You’ve finally had enough. Your stupid fucking unicorn got out of his saferoom again and got into his food bag, scattering the kibble around the entire kitchen. Now you need to clean it up and he has to pay. This was his last chance.
Being the well-adjusted piece of humanity you are, you decide that he should be pillowed. He always complains about his “bad-weggies” anyway. Maybe that’ll make him stop causing so many messes. Of course, you’ll probably just throw him away once you get tired of cleaning him regardless.
Strangely enough, he doesn’t seem too frightened when taken into the operating room. Afterwards the vet tells you it was the most calm reaction he’d ever seen to a fluffy being pillowed. Confused, but still full of conviction, you bring him home.
That night, you hear a strange whistling noise, as if the air was being parted by something moving very quickly. You get up, looking for a bird you’re sure has gotten into your house. Suddenly, something strikes you in the back, and you fall face-down on the floor. A voice whispers in your ear.
“Weggies wewe onwy swowing fwuffy down, anyway.”
The next day, your neighbors find you dead on your front porch, covered in thousands of tiny stab wounds.
[Sorry, the image of a pillowfluff running around on his stumps at super speed just appeared in my head and I couldn’t resist.]
14 Likes
This made me chuckle. I honestly expected something else entirely.
3 Likes
I’m confused but I’m okay with that.
3 Likes
Basically, the fluffy wasn’t lying when he complained about his legs. They really were just slowing him down, so when they were removed he unlocked his true potential and became super-speed fluffy.
5 Likes
You said “find dead” at the end. I think you missed a word there.
Nawni!? ~CORPSE EXPLOSION~
Until I read the ending I thought this might have been an elfen lied reference. 
And fist of the north wins again