Ozziefluffs - by Clive-Writer

55959 - Artist_EmotionalSupportFluffy Australian Australian_Fluffy australia clive commission weirdbox

~OZZIEFLUFFS~

or “Australian Fluffies”

*~by Clive-Writer~ *
~with input from other anons~
~compiled by Oculus~

~

>Fluffies but they speak like middle aged Australians.

>Hasbio’s attempts at making Fluffies personalized fer every country had…interesting effects

>Australian fluffies are smarter than most fluffies, including American fluffies

>Australian Fluffies are much more accepted in Australia since they help get rid of other invasive species like rabbits, or “Floppy Eared Cunts!” as they call them.

>Abusers who vacation in Australia quickly get a few very painful lessons.

>Australian Fluffies have to deal with Australian wildlife. Its what makes them tough motherfuckers

>Australian girls are also tough. Thus, Australian fluffs are made with this durability in mind.

~

>The stories of Australian Fluffies seem unbelievable at first

>An entire herd of Fluffies released into the outback by a particularly imaginative abuser who thought they would die instantly

>And yet now they are thriving for some reason. Tougher, smarter and stronger than before

>Which isn’t saying much but still…

>The change in vocabulary is the most inexplicable thing though. Most encounters with them seem like surreal fever dreams

>Amazingly they have all been confirmed as true

>Even that one story about The Mummah Song being replaced with Waltzing Matilda

>Never sawr it comin’, Yankee cunts!

>The most anyone has been able to discern about the Australian Fluffies odd transformation is their own strange myth

>It tells of an entity they called the “Wizzah” who granted them there enhanced cognitive capacity, their emotional maturity to accept brown, runty or alicorn foals, and their extremely courageous nature.

>The fact that they constantly refer to their homeland as “Oz” gives us some real food for thought.

~

>Oi gimme the spaghetti ya cunt!

>I want some fuckin’ babies! And I want em now ya bloody pom!

>AW STREWTH A’M DOING THE BIG SHITS!

~

>If yer a fair-dinkum Ozziefluff, then this’d be yer fucken breakfast, ya dog-CUNTS!

>A bowl’a fucken VB!

>At twenty-to-eight in the fucken mornin’!

>Get that up ya!

~

>Oi Clive! What’re you doin’?

>Stackin’ blocks, ya cunt, what’d you think I’m fucken doin’???

>Well come on, then! Cricket’s about to start! We’re playin’ England!

>Well fucken hell, mate, why didn’t ya say so?!

>Fucken poncy pom twats think they’ll walk over us again like they did last season, fucken Christ…

>They get so much as a wicket before the first innings out, I’ll swim to fucken England and have a shit in Silverwood’s fucken mouth…

>Give 'im one for me, Clive, there’s a lad

~

>Oi Clive!

>Grab me golf club and wellies, we got cane toads in the yard! Fucken cunts’re tryin’a eat our mangoes again!

>The mangoes?! Fucken’ell, not on my watch, ya beady-eyed cunts! Those’re CLIVE’S fucken mangoes! Fuck the golf club, I’m gettin’ the cricket bat!!!

>There’s a lad, Clive!

~

>The fuck is that?

“It’s the SORRY STICK, shitrat! And if you don’t get outta here, I’m gonna–”

>Yer gonna what, mate? Shove it up yer arse and pretend yer dad’s come for a visit? Piss off!

~

>Abuser calls Fluffies “Shitrats”

>Australian Fluffies: Dwarf insults Elf - YouTube

~

>OI LADS! Lookit this fucken Yankee, thinks he’s some sorta hard cunt cos he’s got a stick!

>What’d he call it, a ‘sorry-stick?’ HA! Sorriest stick I ever sawr, eh?

>What’re ya gonna do with that, ya star-spangled cunt? Think yer scary, do ya?

>I’ve fucken STEPPED on scarier shit than the likes of you just this fucken mornin’!

>Couldn’t swat a fucken spider with that!

>Oi look he’s fucken cryin’, the pansy!

>Piss off!

>Fucken cunt.

>My fucken’ donger’s bigger’n that fucken thing!

“Shut the fuck up! All of you! Don’t fuck with me! I’ll kill all of you!”

>Oh, ALLA us?

>minutes later, the American is running down the road, without his stick, pursued by dozens of fluffies throwing insults

>someone shouts from their front porch

“There’s a lad, Clive!”

~

if an Abuser tries to get them on their side…

>What the fack?

>Are you some kinda fackin’ serial killer mate?

>You’re facked in the head cunt.

~

>Oi, lookit this fucken fluff - you one 'a them Yankee fluffs, then?

>Oh, fuckin’ell, you start in about that fucken spaghetti and –

>Tha’ fuck’s wrong with spaghetti, hah? I’m from New Yahk, I’m surrounded by fuckin’ Italians, of COURSE I’m gonna like spaghetti. Ziti, Lasagna, tortellini - whattayakiddin’me???

>Listen mate, eatin’ pastar out of a tin –

>Excuse me? Whattayou take me for, hah? Some kinda hick? We make that shit FROM SCRATCH! Ain’t gonna see ME runnin’ out for Marinara at two in the fuckin’ mornin, like it’s Chinese noodles or somethin’!

>They got that where you come from, do they?

>What? You think we ain’t got Chinese?? Ohohoho man. Buddy - lemme tell ya a thing or two about Chinese food where I come from! Any time ‘a night or day, you gotta cravin’? They got the goods!

>Fucken’ell, yer in for a treat, then! Loads of it round here! Fair-dinkum fucken Chinese food! Made by fair-dinkum fucken Chinese–

>–don’t speak a fuckin’ lick 'a English!

>–don’t speak a fucken lick of English!

>…

>…Y’know what? Yer alright, mate. Name’s Clive.

>Vinnie - good ta meetcha.

~

>Go shoot a bloody canetoad or long-eared rabbit cunt or somethin’, you wanna get yer jollies, eh? Do some fucken GOOD fer the place!

>Fucken twats. Too early in the fucken day fer this…

~

Really though, if you’re talking about Aussies, if they’re making fun of you, it means they like you. I don’t imagine the fluffies would be any different. Little fluffy four-legged shitposts.

“Goodnight Clive, Love ya.”

“Love you too mate - this the part where we get all huggy? Should I ring yer therapist and tell ‘em yer makin’ great headway?”

“Oh fuck off, ya drain-cloggin’ cunt.”

~

“Oi, hold on! Where’s he?”

“Where’s who?”

“Mr. Nuzzles! I can’t bloody well find 'im!”

“He’s in the wash.”

“The wash?! The fuck’s he doin in the wash!?”

“Shoppin’ mostly - grabbin’ a bite - the fuck d’you think he’s doin’ in the wash, you thickie?”

“Well what’d ya do that for, ya cunt?? How’m I to bloody well get to sleep now?”

“He needed a wash, it’s been weeks since his last one, and you’ve got loads more plushies! What about Jingles?”

“Jingles makes too much fucken noise, don’t he! Can’t fucken well have a sleep with a fucken bell ringin’ in me ear the whole bloody night! S’why he’s called ‘Jingles,’ yeah??”

“Okay okay, what about… Caroline?”

“She’s all flat, eh? Half ‘er fucken stuffin’s gone! Like sleepin’ with a fucken bag tied round ya! You said you’d fix that, ya lazy cunt, restuff 'er and all that!”

“I’ll fucken get to it when I can, mate! But look - Mr. Nuzzles won’t be dry for another… hour, likely - you’ll just have to make do.”

“Fucken’ell…”

“So, what’ll it be, Jingles or Caroline?”

“…Give us Caroline, then.”

“Right, there ya go, Clive. Sleep tight.”

“…Coulda just put Mr. Nuzzles in the wash earlier, ya cunt. Could’ve avoided this whole bloody thing.”

“Well, yeah, but we was busy getting drunk and watchin’ the cricket, eh?”

“Fucken Silverwood.”

“Fucken Silverwood. Anyway, Mr. Nuzzles’ll be right by tomorrow, matey, not to fret. G’night.”

“Yeh, 'night.”

“…fucken Silverwood.”

~

Common Abuser reactions to Australian fluffs:

>F-fucking fluffies can’t do that, they’re too stoopid!

>I’d kill 'em all without even blinking, s-see if I don’t!

>Right there in front of their owners I-I don’t care! Hugboxing faggots!

>T-technically th-they couldn’t even SURVIVE in Australia!

~


THE GREAT FLUFFY WAR

>Nothing can seem to incite more rage online than "The Great Fluffy War"
>It was an "army" of abuser who all decided to hunt the Fluffies of the Outback
>The entire endeavor is seen as an objective disaster, not just because of the lack of accomodation, rudeness to locals, half of the army getting lost and general buffonery
>But because they failed to exterminate even a tenth of the Fluffy population
>The badly organized "squads" mostly fell afoul of the actual Australian wildlife and various outback animals
>Their camps ended up being raided by the Fluffies
>When they did fight them they ended up with only a few dead fluffies to show for it and a lot of injuries
>The group gave up after about two weeks of disaster
>You can tell who was part of this group when they begin to pull out statistics and tell you it was "The most successful fluffy hunt ever"

>Oi Bruce! Look! I’m on the telly!
>The telly? The fuck’re you doin’ on the telly, Clive?
>Sellin’ automobiles and waterbeds - they’re runnin’ the documentary, ya dumb cunt!
>What, the one those Americans interviewed ya for?
>Yeh - the redhead with the big tits? And that peaky-lookin’ twat with the big ears, kept movin’ \the fucken camera all over our fucken dining room?
>Well fucken look at that, there they are.
>Fucken ‘ell, there they are - and the twat’s there too! Hahahaha!
>…
>…Oi, Clive?
>Pfff – Yeh?
>What’s all this about a “Great Fluffy War?” And “the Wizzah?”
>Ya like that, do ya? They was askin’ where Ozziefluffs came from, like why we ain’t all droolin’ fucken retards? Told ‘em all about this Wizard, right? Gave us all our fucken in’ellect an’ wit an’ charm and so on after some American cunt dumped a crate of fluffs in the fucken Outback cos he wanted to watch 'em starve or get et by dingoes.
>…Angonaminnit - is THAT how Ozziefluffs–
>Pfffftthhhhh-- NO, ya dumb cunt!
>Fucken’ell, d’you just tell ‘em a fucken load of porkies then?
>Pure, Grade-A pork pies, mate. Whatever I could pull outta me backside.
>What’d you do that for?
>Bruce. When fate puts a pair’a tits like those in front’a ya, you’ll bloody well say anythin’ to keep 'em there.

>…Point taken. There’s a lad, Clive.

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Written on /trash/ by Clive-writer and a few anons. The text was transcribed per the author’s permission, as he does not wish to join any fluffy community, whether its the reddit or the discord.

The draft of this story as various posts can be read in the archived thread here: /trash/ - Off-Topic » Thread #28429715 . It was the same thread where Twig & Leaf was first written.

The code on this new site has allowed for some wacky formatting. I like how a smaller “window” works for the “Great Fluffy War” segment. That said, for those who want the original version of the story as greentext can be read it on the reddit.

~

This story was uploaded to give context to the character of Outback from Policefluffs, which will be uploaded later

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Updated with cover art by ESF.

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Im imagining this shit with scottish Fluffs

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The only fluffy I respect

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Make an Ozziefluff dressed as Sniper from TF2

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