(Authors note: enjoy)
“fluffy speak”
“human speak/writing”
Dave (no relation to crazy Dave) sighed as he sat in his lawn chair, except it wasn’t on the lawn, it was on his roof, by his side was a cooler with beer and a watering can and on the other side were 3 flower pots, said pots had small faces with their eyes shut tight and small smiles, and before you ask, yes, those are plants.
plants meant for planting another plant in.
this tends to fry the brains of most humans as their minds cry and explode, in the case of fluffys, this is quite literal, those with fluffy pets are advised to keep them away from flower pots less you want to clean up the remains of a fluffsplosion at worst and at best, just the brain melting and leaking out the fluffys ears.
and in those pots, or I suppose, on top, were Daves pride and joy, his blueberries, they were no ordinary blueberries however, they were electric blueberries, very mischievous and yet just as determined to protect humanity from the threat of zombies, and fluffys.
charged with pure electricity, when compared to other electric plants, they were the strongest, their clouds able to reduce even a gargantuar to ash in one strike, the only problem is that they target whatever they feel like sapping, as their almanac puts it.
"Electric blueberry prides herself on being eclectic as well as electric. “I like to keep’em guessing,” she says. “A zombie should always be like, ‘whoa, didn’t see that coming,’ when it’s disintegrated”
though given the circumstances, this includes, fluffys, but when fluffys herds and zombies conveniently attack the same long (or their corralled by the zombies to be meatshields/distractions" the electric blueberry will ignore them and prioritize the zombies till all zombies are sent back to the grave.
the trio of blueberries were relaxing with their gardener and enjoyed the sunny day, no zombies were attacking and was a nice day to have fun, Dave looked though a pair of binoculars and watched the tree line, watching animals and keeping an eye out for zombies, till a surprisingly large herd of fluffys emerged.
he watched with raised eyes as the smarty sniff the ground and while he couldn’t hear what they were saying, he could tell the smarty at the front speaking and pointing at the houses and area around them, and the herd proceeded to cheer in jubilation, even more fluffys came out the forest, many of them pregnant mares who were being rolled by their mates, it didn’t take a genius to know the smarty probably said something along the lines of “nummies”, he smirked and motioned towards his blueberries.
“ey fellas, look at this mess” and lowered his binoculars down and each blueberry took look and then did smirks of their own and knew what their gardener was planning, and they began to charge their electricity.
with the fluffy herd:
“Wub Speciaw Fwend!” As the smartys mate nuzzled him, she could feel her tummeh-babbehs kicking and was happy they were happy too “dis wand hab gud nummies fow babbehs” he said, the mare then looked up and saw a cloud approach her “wook speciaw fwend! it am sky puffy!” And he looked too as it hovered over her, it must be happy for her babbehs too, the mare thought.
when sparks started to pop out the cloud a little, a small thunder like noise emerged and then a massive bolt of lightning struck the mare.
her skeleton and unborn foals were revealed to the world as the soon-mummah shook rapidly, she was in unparalleled pain but could not scream, the smarty, however, ignorant of his special friends suffering, was overwhelmingly happy at the sight of his unborn foals, “dank u puffy fwend, wub babbehs!” as he looked in glee at the small skeletons.
the cloud stopped the lightning and vanished, the mare was blacker than coal and blinked twice, not a sound emerged from her gaping mouth and then her entire body turned to ash, not even her head was left behind, the smarty, being retarded, looked confused and said “speciaw fwend? were babbehs?” and began to dig though the ashes of his mate in search of his foals.
back with Dave:
the human was wheezing as he looked though his binoculars, “man when they say fluffys are dumber than dirt, that’s an insult to dirt!” as he watched the smarty shuffle though the ashes, probably wondering where his foals were, he turned his gaze to another cloud, this one struck a foal in an “upsies” pose as it was reached towards the cloud, its siblings and mother looked in surprise and its mother approached and then sniffed the ashes wondering what happen to her foal, she promptly sneezed, scattering the ashes, the mare was still confused, having no idea what happened to her foal.
Dave just cackled, fluffys had no real concept of most things in the world, baring certain things that was either learned overtime and somewhat remembered, or already in their programming, ashes were not something seldom any fluffy sees or have any concept of, and when they do, their probably already dead or dying or in the hands of a pyromaniac on an abuser, hence why they were sniffing and digging though the ashes of their former friends, foals, or mates.
after a while the blueberrys got bored and proceeded to go to sleep, “heh, fluffys, dumbest things to ever exist, well, maybe not as dumb as koalas” he mused before hitting the hay and resting his hat over his face and went to sleep as the herd slowly began to cry and shout at the clouds over the disappearance of their herd mates
(Authors note: sorry for the lateness of this post, enjoy lads)
