This traffic jam was killing me, it was the middle of summer. My AC wasn’t worth a damn and I really didn’t want to roll down my window. Sweat was pouring down my head and my little Ford Taurus wasn’t doing much to help. I give in and roll down the window with a sigh of defeat. The air on the bridge was nonexistent and I was pretty sure that god had abandoned me.
“'Cause there is no cock like horse cock! Send your asshole into shock!
You need horse cock of course-cock
Grab the lube and slam the day away!”
The lyrics are clear, they are loud enough that I’m sure most of the other drivers can hear it. I look over at the guy in the car next to me. A bright pink Kia soul that is almost painful for me to look at. The guy inside is no less flamboyant, dressed in a too tight pink shirt with a dog collar around his neck. His head snapped to the side to look at me in a way that would make a horror movie monster blush.
We met eyes. Fuck! We met eyes!
“Heeey!” The guy yells over the music.
“Cause there is no cock like horse cock! Rub my dick inside a sock!
Don’t stop now, horse cock! Stretch out my insides and make me pray!”
This song is hell, this traffic jam is hell. I open my mouth to begin my road rage but then a haunted looking fluffy raises his head to peek at me. I’m no fluffy expert but even I could tell that it wanted help. The pleading pink eyes of the fluffy coupled with the song blasting out of the man’s car told a story I didn’t want to witness.
The fluffy kept trying to yell at me but the music drowned out anything he could have said.
“Hey guy!” The music died and the guy from the pink Kia turned his attention to me.
FUCK.
“Hey.” I reply.
God. I haven’t asked for anything but if you clear this traffic jam. I’ll go back to church.
“My fluffy wants to tell you something.” He said.
The fluffy turned to his owner, they shared a look. The fluffy turned back to me and tried to put on a happy face. “Pwease be nyu daddeh.”
“So-” I was about to tell him no but curiosity was killing me. “Why?”
“Munstah Daddeh am wowstest!” The stallion said.
The stallion turned around and placed his legs on the door. His hole was a gaping ruin. I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask to see his blown out shitter. Eventually he turns back and I see a stupid fluffy face instead of a crime against humanity. The stallion has a look of pure defeat, a vacant look that would put the most jaded lot-lizard to shame.
“Munstah Daddeh hab no-no toysie fo’ Howstew! Gib wowstest huwties! Hewp Fwuffy, pwease.”
Greeeeeat… This jackass named his fluffy holster. Why me? I just wanna go to my interview in peace.
“I don’t want none of this game. Fuck off.” I start to roll up my window.
The other man rolled up his window as the fluffy screamed for help. I tried to keep my eyes forward but I couldn’t help but glance over when he started that awful music again. I regretted looking over the moment the music started back up.
“My shaft is quivering, my balls are turning blue and I think of drinking in a foot or even two! My favorite stallion that I keep in my top drawer! Slip it in and out be dripping goo!”
I watched a man, a grown man. Violate a fluffy’s throat with a large dog dick shaped toy. I wanted to look away, I felt my lunch trying to leave my stomach. When I thought that I was at my patiences end. The jam finally cleared and I could get to my interview. I pulled up to the small office and waited.
“Mr. Rhodes will see you now.” The chubby little secretary said behind the reception desk.
I steeled my nerves and stepped into the large office, I looked up and locked eyes with the same bastard from the road. He was dressed in a pink collared shirt and the collar was gone but the clearest give away was the fluffy sitting in the corner of the room. He looked as surprised as I was once our eyes met.
“Well well well…” Mr. Rhodes smiled at me like a tiger that happened upon a crippled sheep.
“Shit.” I did not need this shit.
“We could do a normal interview. You’d probably get the job making about fifteen dollars an hour and work a desk.” Mr Rhodes smiled. “Or we could get you into product testing and you can make thirty-six dollars an hour at our sister facility.”
I narrowed my eyes and clicked my teeth. “Why?”
“Holster here is one of our test subjects. He saw you and thought that you would save him. He has a good eye for bad people. You looked at a fluffy that has been testing sex toys for as long as he can remember and you didn’t give a shit.” Mr Rodes smiled.
“Thirty-six.” I blinked.
“See, I like that. Money focused. Yes. That is the starting wage, you’ll test everything from chemicals to sex toys on fluffies.” He smirked, “If you have any problems then feel free to-”
“Nu don’t be munstah! Be nice Mistah.” The fluffy said sadly.
“Do me a favor. Please flip him over on the toy. Consider it an assessment.”
I didn’t waste a second, I picked up the-. The fluffy came up with a sickening slurp as I lifted, a horse shaped toy popped out of his ass once I got him to knee height. He looked me in my eyes, he looked ready to cry. His large eyes pleaded silently for me to spare him, this little guy didn’t understand what bills were and I couldn’t be bothered with morality for a fluffy. I flipped him over and forced him on the toy, he opened his mouth to plead and got a mouth full of sex toy.
Mr Rhodes turned to face the fluffy, he watched as the toy gagged and choked with dead eyes. Holster struggled but I held him down. The man stared at the fluffy as its movements slowed until life left the little biotoy.
“You passed. It’s not really a part of the job to kill them. I just really didn’t care for the little whiny cock-holster. You start Monday. This month we are testing bear mace so you get to spray down fluffies. You’ll love it.” Rhodes chuckles. “That’s all I have for you.”
I left more confused than I care to admit and also with one of the highest paying jobs I’ve ever gotten.
-End-
This shit post is thanks to @Ace
