You are Duncan and today you are taking Odis and Beau for a play date with the fluffies of Vanderholt farms.
You open your front door to find a young lady standing on your porch.
With a sigh you ask the rhetorical question.
“May I help you with something?”
The woman puts on a cutesy voice for what you assume is some kind of live stream she’s doing.
“Heey , so I know you were kind of on the fence about selling your fluffies when we talked on the phone-“
You stop her right there.
“I told you in no uncertain terms on the phone that I will never sell or give you my fluffies under any circumstances “
The woman frustrated that you said that on her live stream, tries a more direct approach.
“Perhaps you don’t know who I am?”
You take a deep breath and smile before answering.
“Ms Hasegawa i know who you are and my answer remains the same… no.”
Ms Hasegawa begins a dramatic introduction despite your answer.
“I am the muse of fluffy abuse! the primo Dana of bad mummahs! the radiant reaper of the roulette , THE ONE ! THE ONLY! OWWIE-BABA!”
This is Hasegawa Francine, daughter of renowned race fluffy breeder Hasegawa Akino ,founder of Hasegawa stables, one of only 4 official sanctioned race fluffy breeders in Japan . Hasegawa stables transformed the world of fluffy racing from just another hobby to an internationally recognized sport. They recently opened up a fluffy racing track a few years back across from the Harper valley fluffy park. Odis is all but confirmed to have been dumped at the park by one of the stable hands. Odis his brother chuck-wagon and Beau had all outlived their usefulness to the stable. Chuck-wagon had had his limbs replaced rather than letting a minor injuries heal naturally and thus quickly snowballed into an un salvageable resource . Being put up for adoption at the sanctuary by someone who found him wandering the park. Beau was a breeding mare who had given birth to too many unsuitable racing foals and was handed over to the daughter for use in torture live streams to recoup costs , Francine used a roulette wheel with various nonlethal punishment to milk the donation money from viewers. The only reason you have Beau is because she spun the 1/10,000 chance to be sent to the sanctuary, only after her hundreds torture spins that left her, nearly completely blinded by the sun, burned with cigarettes, one of her wings being torn off like a hangnail and being forced to choose between having punishments inflicted on herself or the multiple litters of foals she was continually impregnated with, the only thing she had when she came to the sanctuary was a blanket that smelled like her foals.
This absolute waste of oxygen had the audacity to call you on your personal phone and tried buying both Odis and Beau from you. And now she’s on your porch live streaming her second attempt as if that somehow will make you more susceptible to selling .
You rub your forehead with your pointer finger and thumb.
“Ms Hasegawa please leave … “
Ms Hasegawa pouts.
“I have to have that fluffy , I promised my viewers if they reached the donation milestone that Odis would be my next victim . Everyone has a price Duncan , all you have to do is name it.”
Odis is an SBS, but after two years of careful coaching he now attempts to use the litter box with varying degrees of success, he also is slowly learning to talk in fragmented run-on speak like a toddler , he’s able to eat baby food and his first teeth are coming in.He struggles a lot with things being too loud or too bright but you have tools in place such as cotton buds in his ears, a thunder vest for anxiety And the occasional use of a tiny white balaclava with no eye holes to help block out bright lights (dubbed the happy hat), to help him self sooth .
You grew up with similar issues to a lesser extent, that’s why you are so accommodating for Odis . Not only because you understand his struggles but also because he is your little dude.
Your tone becomes much more harsh.
“Francine . If you desire a healthy SBS to dismember for the pleasure of your audience then I suggest that you stop pestering me and start learning how to raise one yourself.”
Francine becomes furious.
“You are to refer to me as MS HASEGAWA or OWWIE-BABA!”
Beau who is next to Odis in the chest mounted baby carrier, wakes up.
Beau drowsy and confused
“ (yawn) …Daddeh? Why su wowd?”
Beau looks up to see Francine, her face fills with dread as she recognizes her former owner.
“DADDEH!!! NU GIB BEAU TU MUNSTAH MUMMAH!!! (Hu Hu) (sob)”
You stare daggers at Francine.
“GET OFF MY PROPERTY.”
Francine not wanting to be told what to do, snaps back.
“Odis regardless of if he was thrown out by the stable hands, is still property of Hasegawa stables. YOU WILL give him to me or I will have my father sue you for everything you have!”
Francine crosses the threshold into your house.
You loose your shit ,grabbing Francine by the collar and hoisting her a good four inches of the ground.
“Listen here you entitled piece of dog shit. This is MY house. Only guests are welcome in MY house. And you are most certainly NOT my guest. I didn’t shoot your ass not because I value your life but because I don’t have time to file a police report. But Rest assured if you ever come on my property again ,time will most certainly be made …. Understood?”
Francine nods.
You carry Francine to the end of the driveway and plop her down on the opposite side of the property line.
You recompose yourself as
Francine chuckles nervously.
“Perhaps I was a bit too aggressive with the lawsuit card. How about $70k for both Odis and Beau?”
You smile.
“With all due respect madam, kindly take your money and firmly insert it into the deepest recesses of your rectal cavity.”