Redrum Part 1 (By Fluffzilla)

All that he had ever known in the many forevers of his existence, which was only about one month and four days, was the all consuming darkness and a very comfortable warmth that enveloped him on all sides that also somehow made him feel always full and content with the way things were. If the fluffy had his way, he would have never left this mysterious and magical place where there was no problems or tribulations.

Recently, however, this unknown place was starting feel smaller and more cramped. Now, instead of feeling nothing when he stretched out his hooves whenever he felt bored, he hit walls when he tried to entertain himself. Even more bizarre and frightening, he had recently discovered that he was not alone in here. He could feel other fluffies that shared this place with him be squished up against him, kicking him painfully in the side or head whenever he attempted jostle himself into a more comfortable position. Though he was afraid that this place was only going to grow tighter and more cramped with all of them in there, his worries were going to swept away very soon.

It all started with a trembling squeeze that had caused the surrounding walls to suddenly press down on his body and push down. Just as quickly as it had started, it ceased and let him have some ‘breathing’ room. Utterly freaked out by this new action and wanting so comfort that didn’t come from his surroundings for the first time, he instinctively wrapped his hooves around one of others in the form of a hug; which made him realize just how small the others were and how big he was. The one he was hugging also apparently felt the same terror as he did, for they returned his hug with equal gusto. He found that he quite enjoyed this new feeling and wanted it to continue forever, while hoping that the squeezing wouldn’t come back anytime soon.

Unfortunately, the tremors and squeezing came back without an ounce of mercy. If anything, they were more powerful and lasted far longer than before. This only served to increase his and his new friend’s’ terror even more and caused them to tighten their hold on one another. Before his young brain could process what was happening, the squeezing came back with even more urgency than before. As it continued to start and stop at random intervals, the infant realized that he and his friend were getting pushed farther and farther down towards something that seemed to be sucking all of them down towards itself. In his panic, his still forming mind thought that it was a monster and made him to start instinctively thrashing around. In his thrashing, he never noticed that he was constantly bashing his head against the wall and that the fluid that used to envelop him was now gone.

His new friend apparently didn’t want to lose their hold on him, for their grip on his body only grew tighter until it started to actually hurt him slightly, which had only served to increase his fear even more and caused his thrashing to reach new heights. Despite all of his effort, or lack there of, it was just him and his new friend who were left in this now terrifying place.

Despite he and his friend holding on to each other for dear life, he could feel that they were rapidly being pulled away from him and into the unknown thing that had consumed the others. No! Not them! Weren’t the others enough for it?! Why does it want to take the only friend that he has ever known?! Though he tried to hold onto them for dear life, his new friend was successfully pulled out of his grasp and into the monster’s maw. The supposed death of his friend, though he truthfully didn’t really know about the concept of “death” except through instinct, shattered his fragile mind and caused him give up fighting. Not that he had much fight left in him, being as young as he was and not even having his see places open yet.

As such, when the monster started to pull him in, he allowed it to happen without a fuss. Why bother struggling when he would soon be joining his friend? It was tight and constricting on all sides, even more so than the walls ever were. It was so tight, in fact, that the infant could hardly even breathe properly, causing him to start feeling lightheaded and faint. Down, down and down he went, feeling as if it would always go on forever downwards.

Of course, it naturally didn’t. After many forevers, in reality only two minutes due a nonexistent grasp of time, he felt that his back hooves were suddenly released from the compressing maw and were now dangling somewhere new. Wherever this new place was, it was cold, damp and empty. He immediately didn’t like this new, unknown place. Seeming to ignore his strong misgivings about this new place, the monster continued to push more and more of him out of itself and into this unwanted place. Eventually, enough of him was dangling out that gravity did the rest of the work and pulled the remainder of him out and into the new world with a rough drop to somewhere below.

The short drop ended when he roughly landed onto something soft that loudly crinkled when he had landed. Before he could adjust to his new surroundings, however, he felt himself being picked up by something huge that lifted him up and off the ground. It then proceeded to use it huge tongue-which was weirdly forked-to lick the end of his muzzle, which made him to start to instinctively coughing and hacking out the fluids still clogging up his airways and forcing him to take his first true breaths.

“Dis am wastes’ chiwpy babbeh, speshuw fwend“, the giant thing softly spoke to something else that the foal’s senses told him was his mother; his senses eventually also told him that the thing currently holding him was his father and that he could trust them. After a bout of silence, his father asked who he had assumed was his mother a question. “Speshuw fwend, why don’t ‘ou gib cweanies to chiwpy babbeh? Dey nee’ to feew cwean an’ wub.”, his father questioned with what seemed to be dread in his voice, which the foal thought was ridiculous; of course his mother loved him! Babies were for huggies and love, after all! Silly daddeh.

In response, his mother blew a raspberry at her mate in disgust. “Mummah awweady cwean bestes’ babbeh and other babbehs. No cwean othah munsta babbeh.”, his mother responded in disgust apathy towards his father, who seemed too tense up at her words. The young foal, in his innocent mind, rationalized what he heard as his mother being funny and wrote it off as such before he felt himself being roughly pushed by a large hoof in his father’s chest fluff, causing the foal to let out chirps of pain and fright.

“Bad speshuw fwend! aww babbehs am gud babbehs!! Cwean babbeh, ow fwuffy gib sowwy hoofsies!!“, his father shouted in anger in a volume that hurt the foal’s sensitive ears and caused him to peep out in distress, to which he received a soothing nuzzle on the top of his head. His ears twitched as he heard the voices of other fluffies as they grew closer to where they were. One in particular was very loud and bossy to the others.

“Why am bestes’ toughy shouting? smawty an’ bestes’ babbeh am twyin’ to sweepies!”, the loud voice demanded to his father while a few others present voiced their agreements. Another voice soon spoke up, just as demanding as the first but much younger and higher pitched than the other.

“Mummah! bestes’ babbeh wan’ mowe miwkies!”, the new voice arrogantly demanded in an annoying whine. Even as young as he was, the foal knew that this colt was too old to still need milk from their mother. Surprisingly, it was the foal’s mother that responded.

“Nu! bestes’ babbeh am too big fo’ miwkies! new bestes’ babbeh nee’ aww dah miwkies mummah has!” his mother responded to her former bestest baby with an humph at the end, which led to the colt to loudly complain that ‘Dewe am nu nummies to num’ anywhere for him, which also garnered him more agreements than the first voice had gotten, which caused said voice to yell at them to ‘Shut up, dummehs!’.

“Fwuffy towd smawty that hewd shouwd stay in dah woods an’ 'way fwom humans, buh smawty nu wisten.”, his father grumbled to himself in discontent at the current state of things that went over his child’s innocent head. The first voice-or ‘smarty’, as he’s known as-had apparently taken umbrage at his father’s none too subtle complaint towards him and his leadership.

“Smawty am smawty! an’ dis am smawty’s heawd, su smawty decides what heawd do an’ whewe! If bestes’ toughy doesn’t wike it, fwuffy can weabe heawd!”, Smarty stubbornly responded in anger, causing a bout of shocked murmurs to erupt from the other fluffies present.

“Fwuffy wiww stay wiff heawd, buh am not scawed by smawty.”, his father calmly responded in return, apparently not intimidated at the slightest, which caused the Smarty to audibly fume and stomp one of his hooves on the ground in anger.

The foal paid attention to none of this however, for most of it sailed right through one ear and out of the other. His mind was also preoccupied by the grumbling sounds his stomach gave off as it protested its continued hunger and the lack of milk filling it up till full. Unable to ignore his gnawing hunger any longer, the foal let his need for sustenance be known to all through a series of chirps and peeps. In response, his father gave him a quick cleaning, which the foal appreciated since it meant that his fuzz would be free of any sticky fluids that smelled unusually appetizing to him for some unknown reason, his father moved him closer towards his mother’s position.

Lowering him down, the foal felt himself being set beside a smaller foal, whose smell told his nose that she was his sister, that was currently kneading on one of their mothers teats. With his hunger compelling him that he must feed, the foal crawled forward until he was facing the teat’s nipple and gently prodded his sibling for a turn, which he got a hoof to the face in response. After letting a chirp of pain, the foal started to clumsily push against his sister to move her out of the way so that he could get his fill. Not wanting to lose her spot on the teat, his sister began to viciously (for newborn foals) kick and jab at her brother in return, trying to fend him off.

Just when it seemed like he may not get a turn to feed, the young foal suddenly felt the presence of his sister disappear from beside him, with her letting out peeps and ‘huus’ of sadness at being prevented from feeding. When the foal tried to capitalize on the now free teat, he found his path blocked by one of his mother’s front hooves.

“Bestes’ babbeh not done dwinkin’ miwkies, speshuw fwend! ugwy babbeh can wait tuwn!” His mother protested while he pushed against her hoof, trying to get her to let him feed, his hunger becoming stronger by the minute. For some reason, his mother lets out a yelp of pain and shouts ‘Why gib mawe sowwy hoofsies?! am gud mummah!’ To somebody, which caused his mother to remove her hoof and allow him to start drinking the milk that was practically nectar from the gods to him (not that he would know what gods are).

“White, Wingie-pointie babbeh am not ugwy babbeh! am pwetty just wike wed pointie babbeh! Besides, Wed babbeh hab had too much miwkies an’ may hab stomach owwies whiwe othah babbehs stawbe! Fwuffy am not woosin’ anothah babbeh to speshuw fwiend’s stupidity. Am fwuffy cweaw?”, His father harshly whispered to his mother, who seemed to quietly whimper to herself. Though his dad’s dark words flew way over the foal’s head, he could still subconsciously recognize the hostile tone beneath his father’s quiet words and kneaded his mother in an attempt to garner some comfort; unfortunately for him, she seemed to ignore his silent pleas to comfort herself.

“Babbeh am munsta. Aww monstews desewbe go foweba sweepies. Wet smawty gib stompies…”, the smarty started to demand before being overshadowed by his father’s more booming voice that was filled with anger and threats of violence.

“Nu touch white babbeh! if smawty ow any fwuffie gib sowwy hoofsies tu to any of fwuffy’s babbehs, fwuffy wiww num them! undewstand, smawty?”, His father growled out, causing the other fluffies to either let out fearful ‘eeeps’, various sounds of confirmation or even sounds of some of the more cowardly fluffies running away in terror, leaving a trail of shit and piss behind them while letting out huus all the way.

Frightened by all the commotion and everything, the foal detached himself from his mother’s teat with a loud pop and started crying audibly while letting out terrified chirps and peeps of distress in order to garner the attention of one of his parents. When he had unintentionally flopped backwards onto his back and started flailing his hooves everywhere, he felt the huge hooves of his father gently picking him up and bringing him to his chest to give him a hug. Instinctually, the foal returned the hug to the best of his ability in order to return some of the comfort he was given.

“Dewe, dewe babbeh. It am otay’, daddeh am hewe.”, his father whispered soothingly to him in order to calm his infant’s frayed nerves and quiet his crying; for, unbeknownst to his child, they had lost seven mares and stallions to a deranged woman when she heard them attempting to forage through garbage cans for food and started to rip into them with her bare hands. The only saving grace was that she was taken away by other humans in strange clothing for ‘disturbance of the peace’. Due to that, he was trying to keep the herd’s new chirpy foals from making any loud noises that might garner them unwanted attention. It didn’t help that many of their terrible mothers already had a bestest baby and would let their other babies scream and cry until someone made them feed their other children, never mind the screaming fits that their mothers would have when told to do something they didn’t want to.

Nevertheless, his father’s attempt to soothe the foal’s distress had worked, for his full blown crying had defused and simmered into sniffing and the occasional huu here and hiccup. Eventually, he felt himself being removed from his father’s chest fluff and being lowered somewhere on the ground.

“Wook, babbeh: it’s aww youw Bwuddahs an’ Sistews!”, his father declared happily as he set the foal down somewhere that was somehow softer than the crinkly stuff from earlier. Immediately, the foal noticed that he was surrounded by other, smaller foals on either side of him. Putting his snout onto one of them and taking a whiff of their scent, in process startling that one awake with a surprised chirp, he realized that these were the ones in the cramped place with him! Even better, they were his brothers and sisters all along!

Peeping in joy, the foal proceeded to hug the one that he was just sniffing, causing to momentarily to let out a chirp of shock before it soon leaned into the hug and let out a a cooing sound of happiness. As the got comfy snuggling with his new sibling, however, he heard an inquisitive peep coming from somewhere behind him before he felt a nose prodding into his back and taking a deep whiff of his own scent.

Curious as to who it could be, he stopped hugging his currant brother-much to their very vocal displeasure-and twisted himself around so that he could identify the stranger. When he got a good whiff of them, however, he had the biggest surprise in his short life: it was his friend from the cramped place! And unless his nose was deceiving him, they were also one of his sisters even! Happy beyond belief at being reunited with his dear friend, the foal proceeded to tightly hug his sister. It seemed that his sister also remembered him as well during the time in the cramped place, for returned his hug with equal gusto while letting out a purring sound.

“Time fo’ babbehs to go to sweepies.”, his father declared softly, laying down and curling into a ball around the foal and his siblings. Enveloped by the warm fur of his father with a comfortable space in the middle for them all, the foal and his siblings were fast falling asleep on bellies full of precious milk. Indeed many of his siblings-especially his closest sister-were already sound asleep and he was on his way to join them in that blissful twilight when he caught a whiff of an irresistible smell.

It was something that was somehow both sweet and bitter, with a heavy, metallic tang to it. It brought something from deep inside him, like an endless maw that was stirred from its deep slumber with a voracious appetite that needed to be quenched by any means necessary. Raising his head and searching around for the source of the delectable scent, the foal zeroed in on the source of the smell being on the nape of his sister’s neck.

Gently prodding his sister, which caused her to fidget slightly before settling back down, he found it to be wet, viscous and slightly sticky to the touch. Unable to resist the practically screaming urge, he lapped up the stuff and immediately went into a state of bliss. It tasted more delicious than anything even his mother’s milk! Its iron aftertaste and almost syrupy consistency seemed almost enhance its flavor in a way that the foal’s young, innocent mind couldn’t comprehend nor describe. Unnoticed by the foal due to the bliss, his sister giggled at the feeling of being licked by her brother and snuggled closer to him in response.

Still feeling the siren call of rest, the foal laid his head down on top of his sister’s neck and began to drift off to sleep, where his first dreams would be filled with sensations of that blissful experience for the entire night. Little did this child know of the big future that awaited him in the darkness.


So, here’s my first story, yay!
[dies from anxiety]


For your first story its pretty good ngl

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Nice! Can’t wait to see more

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I wouldnt rely on view to comment ratio. Likes to views of around 10% or better is pretty good on posts I feel.


Actual really good.

The other day I lamented the lack of good chirpy pov stories given how limited their ability to express anything is.

I think you absolutely captured it perfectly.


I couldnt have said it better myself imo.

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It’s the small victories that encourage me to keep writing.

Also just realizing that it sounds like I’m tooting my own horn. Dying of cringe internally

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