I thought it would be interesting and kind of fun to post my rough draft for TBaS to show my writing process, and I also thought it would be interesting to ask others about their writing process. How do you get the thing written?
To Break a Smarty
Start with Jen introspecting about why she wants a fluffy? Considering Parker’s words from Out For A Walk. Her job frustrates her. Co-workers treat her poorly while acting like children. Maybe a fluffy would help her de-stress from work. Has intentions of getting a good-mannered fluffy.
She prepared by setting up an area in her small basement (because she read that safe rooms are good for them.) Padding for the concrete floor, lots of toys, a nice bed. Because having an entire room for a fluffy is ridiculous.
She drives to the shelter on Cucumber street, where Parker directed her to (double check the name of this)
Shelter is a nice place but a little small. Jenny is welcomed in by front-end staff and welcomed to look around.
Jenny looks at thr cute foal pen with the mummahs, they’re all vying for her attention and some babbeh’s are dancing. Note that they also have food and supppliments and some toys and necessity items.
There are some cages stacked on top of each other, like a whole rack system and one of them is being mean and shouting to let out and give sketties and all that smarty shit.
Jenny asks the person at the counter about the fluffy. Worker says he was adopted as a babbeh with his mummah and siblings, but was returned because of his bad behaviour. He’s been returned several times and now is an adult with smarty symdrome.
Jenny thinks for a bit (maybe something devious in her thoughs?), then says she’ll take him. Worker asks if she’s sure, which she is. Asks to muzzle him for the ride home. She goes through a ‘good owner’ check or something??
Jenny buys some extra things while the worker deals with the fluffy’s self-riteous attitude? He thinks he’s better than every other fluffy because he has a home again or something idk. Jenny buys a sorry stick, and one of mikahorsie’s sorry boxes. (think of some other things if needed? The muzzle for sure)
[Mikahorsie sorry pit link was here]
Take the shithead out to the car, he’s muzzled so he can’t talk. The car ride home is silent. Maybe put here some thoughts Jenny is having. A new (maybe) BETTER way to relieve her stress. Take it all out on the shithead at home instead of the shitheads at work. She wants a good fluffy, and she’ll make sure to work hard to get there, but if he fails, she can always go back to the shelter.
Jenny gets home, takes shithead to the basement and takes shithead out of the crate by the scruff. Looks him dead in the eyes and says gruffly (angrily? Something along that tonal line)
Listen here, you little shit. Your new name is Bubblegum I took you because no one else wanted you. You’re a BAD fluffy. But I’m going to make you a good fluffy (or something).
Pause to look at shithead, who is glaring at Jenny so fiercely it looks like he might just shit from all the force.
“There are rules in this house. (or I make the rules idk). Good fluffies eat their kibble, poop in the litterbox, and don’t demand things. If you’re a good fluffy, you’ll get love and praise and spaghetti, but if you’re a bad fluffy, you’ll be punished. I won’t tolerate your bullshit. Understand?”
Jenny takes bubblegum out of the carrier and removes his muzzle. Little shit is instantly defiant. DUMMEH NYU MUMMAH, am SMAWTY BUBBEWGUM, Nu wisten tu yu! Wan sketti’s now! And enfies!” he stomps his little hoofies on the soft matting pomf pomf.
Jenny just walks away up the stairs.
Bubblegum snorts triumphantly “Das WITE, bwing bubbewgum bestest sketties!”
Shithead has a look around his pen. To him theres so much room! And lots of toys! Yay! He plays with a ball near him and it lands by the kibble and water bowls. He snorts or huffs at the kibble.
“dummeh kibbew! Gon’ hav sketties soon. Take sorry poopies!” he squats down and takes a dump on the kibble, and also gets some in the water dish so good job fucking idiot.
He plays for a while (blocks maybe?), then his stomach growls. “bubbewgum hav tummie huwties…!” He screams up at the door. MUMMAH WHERE SKETTIES, BWING SKETTIES DUMMEH MUMMAH HAB TUMMIE HUWTIES.” He stamps his hooves again pomf pomf.
He screams for a while but no one is coming lol. He coughs maybe from straining his voice. He gets grumbly and agitated. “Why dummeh nyu mummah nu brwing sketties for bestest smarty bubblegum? She’s DUMMEH!’
He keeps playing because he gets bored. Maybe play with the ball again? Or maybe he beats up the stuffed fluffy? Tummy growls louder! Now it really hurts! Getting desperate! It’s also dark out by this time. Shows passage of time. There’s a small window high on the wall across from the pen.
Huu huu mummah! Tummie hurties!! Need sketti nummies!” Pomf pomf. All four hooves this time. Whiney, desperation. “huu huu! Need nummies but…” he turns to look at the smelly shit on top of the kibble.
‘huu nu wan eat sowwy poopies, but mummah nu bring sketties. Have so many tummie hurties. “
I think he’d stare at the shit bowl for a while in (despair? Hopelessness yes that one). He looks one more time at the door, hearing some distant sounds but nothing close. He huus and walks over to the bowl. “dummeh mummah…” he says quietly. “nu wan eat sowwy poopies…”
He chokes down the shit and tries to keep it down with the shitwater but it’s all dissolved and it’s just all in the water forever, and finally he gets to the kibble. Only eats half? Since he filled up on his own shit lol. Fluff around mouth smeared with shit and shitwater? Yeah lol.
Bubblegum is upset because he ate his own shit and mummah didn’t bring him his sketties. He shuffles to his bed, which is close-ish to the bowls so he still smells the leftover shit he didn’t eat that fell off the sides of the bowl? And some on the floor and in the water. He curls up and cries himself to sleep because he’s pathetic.
There’s a camera on the wall that sees and hears everything.
End of Chapter 1