Talking to Yuzu while you boiled water for your meal, you learned she had snuck in while you were rotating your stock a week ago. She was heavily pregnant but managed to squeeze herself between the shelves and the wall while you were inside the house, eating energy bars and drinking from a small puddle in a low spot of the floor until she gave birth.
“Yuzu used’ta hab hooman mummah.” she explained, sitting in her makeshift bed. “Wib in nice housie, hab toys and guud nummies. Den Yuzu ask mummah if Yuzu hab’ babbehs, an Mummah teww Yuzu tu gu ‘way.”
“Yeah, begging for babies isn’t really something humans like.” You took a sip of your Powdered Orange Flavored Sports Beverage. “Lots of fluffies make that mistake.”
“Yuzu nu beg, jus’ ask. Mummah nu say nu, she say gu ‘way.”
“Wait, like you only asked once?”
Yuzu nodded. “Jus’ wan’ knu. If mummah say nu babbehs den nu babbehs. Yuzu twy teww mummah dis, buh she said” Yuzu furrowed her brow, pointing at an invisible fluffy in front of her as she spoke in a deep voice, “Yuzu nu stop askin’, dat what fwuffies du. If yu wan’ babbehs gu fin’ somewhewe ewse to wib.”
You were torn between sympathy for her and amusement at her impression of her previous owner. “Well, I’m glad you got your babies at least.”
Yuzu didn’t reply, looking down on her nursing foals.
You watched her for a moment, trying to read her face. She looked almost… sad.
Your timer dinged, letting you know that your dinner was fully rehydrated. You set your drink down and grabbed the hot plastic bag, dumping most of the pasta into a bowl for you. With your pocket knife you cut the sides of the bag to make a sort of wide tray with a thin coating of pasta across it.
“Here, eat up.” You set it down in front of Yuzu.
She stared at it for a moment, then looked up at you. “…Sketti…?”
“Yes?” You sat down with your bowl. It wasn’t the greatest quality, the noodles were always just a bit too soft in these things. “Do you not like it or something?”
“Buh… Yuzu nu du nuffin’ fo’ nice mistah…”
“You didn’t poop on my floor. That’s impressive on its own.”
She looked at the plastic, then turned to you teary eyed. “Tank’oo!! Babbehs hab’ bestest sketti miwkies!!” She leaned forward and started licking the plastic happily.
You watched her as you ate yourself. The portions on most of these freeze-dried meals assumed that you were some sort of long haul hiker who needed as many calories as you could physically take. Even if you only had two meals a day these portions were too big for you to eat entirely, it worked out pretty well to be able to give the rest to the fluffy. Cleaning any foodstuffs from your garbage would also cut down on the chances of any other vermin joining you.
When you’d finished you washed your bowl and fork and set them to dry. Yuzu had licked the plastic totally clean and was happily chattering to her foals about how good sketti was while you tossed the bag into the trash. You pondered what to do with the rest of the night, deciding to grab a book from the box in the pantry at random.
You dug around a bit before pulling out a paperback. The cover featured a barely clothed woman being held tightly by the most muscular man you’d ever seen. Clearly a trashy mass-market paperback, one of the ones you knew Mariah secretly loved. She hid them from you, reading them in the bath or when she thought you weren’t around. You found it cute, and made sure to get a few copies of her favorites to add to your stash.
With a heavy sigh you put the book back. Maybe you’d be able to read that one in her memory one day, but not today.
“Am Nice Mistah otay?” Yuzu asked.
You hesitated to reply. It couldn’t hurt to vent to a fluffy, could it? You certainly weren’t going to be able to get any sort of therapy to cope with the end of the world.
“Everyone I knew is… gone.” You said, pulling out a scifi novel. “My family, my friends, my girlfriend… I miss them already.”
Yuzu made a sympathetic noise. “Yuzu knu dat, wen Mummah teww Yuzu gu ‘way Yuzu nu get to see Mummah ow fwends ebah again.”
“Yeah, I guess we’re both missing our special friends, huh?”
Yuzu frowned, avoiding your gaze. “Yuzu nu hab spechow fwend. Meanie fwuffy gib Yuzu babbehs, nu hewp Yuzu aftah.”
“Oh… Uh… Sorry.” You coughed uncomfortably.
She gently stroked the red foal gently with her hoof as it nursed. “It am otay. Yuzu hab babbehs an’ Nice Mistah.” She looked up to you with a grin. “An’ Nice Mistah hab Yuzu an’ babbehs!!”
“Yeah, I guess I’m not too alone, am I?”
Patting her head as you walked past, you paused in the doorway to the bedroom. “Im gonna head to bed, you want me to leave the lights on out here?”
“Nu tank’oo, Yuzu sweep guud in dawkies.”
“Alright.” You flicked the switch, leaving only the dim emergency lights on “Sleep good, Yuzu.”
“Yu tuu Nice Mistah!!”
Stretching out across the bed, you flipped open the novel. You quickly found yourself struggling to get into it. The empty side of the bed felt like a cold void sucking you in, reminding you how well and truly alone you were. You tossed the book aside and flipped off the lights.
Maybe you’d feel better in the morning.
And so your new life carried on. Morning oatmeal shared with Yuzu, a shower, and then planning out your schedule for the day. You taught Yuzu to flush the toilet when she was done using it, with the extra material added to the methane generator your battery levels were looking better than you expected. Overnight the batteries would fill entirely and it would have to vent excess methane so you lost nothing by watching a movie before bed or even playing a few hours of classic video games.
You felt incredibly lucky that she snuck in. You had seen people talking about fluffies as livestock and they always seemed more work than they were worth, screaming child-like shit making machines that ate anything and everything they could get their mouth around. Yuzu was polite, quiet, and fairly clean. She even cleaned up after her foals, something you told her you’d take care of when you saw her eating their shit off her blankets. A little extra laundry was worth it if it meant keeping Yuzu healthy. You didn’t know if she could get a sickness from her own foals, but eating something that ate shit made your stomach turn.
Time passed, marked only by the clock on the wall and the growth of the foals. As their eyes opened and they started testing out their shaky hooves Yuzu asked if you could move her bed into your bedroom.
“Nu wan’ babbehs wandew off whiwe mummah nap.” She explained. “Nu am safe. If Nice Mistah cwose doow, babbehs nu gu ‘way.”
You didn’t like the idea of having no fluffy-free space, but she made a good point. You didn’t want to deal with the foals getting stuck under something, or drowning in the tiny puddle against the wall. You even found yourself liking to have someone else in the bedroom with you, her soft snores made you feel just a little less alone.
It was kind of a problem, though.
There was never a moment the foals were not being closely watched. Yuzu was one of the most attentive mothers you had ever seen, fluffy or human. She followed them around the space as they tested out their growing legs, gently herding them and making sure they stayed together. You even tried to sneak into the bedroom while she napped but her head shot up as soon as the door opened. There was never a moment you could get one if the foals alone, or to wander anywhere you could hide a snare. Even if you did, you were sure she wouldn’t let it happen again.
So you needed a backup plan. Some other way to get the foals into the stew pot before they weaned and started eating into your rations. Maybe you’d keep the red male in case you decided you liked fluffy meat and wanted to keep this going.
“Hey Yuzu?” You leaned into the bedroom while the foals napped. “Can you come out here and talk to me?”
“Suwe!” She gently untangled herself from her foals before trotting out to the table. “Wha’ Mista Petah wan’?”
“So…” you heaved a sigh, frowning in exaggerated concern. “I’ve been looking over our food supplies and… I don’t know if we have enough food for five fluffies…”
Yuzu blinked. “Buh… dat am wotsa nummies!”
“It is… but we are going to be down here a very long time.” You plopped down into one of the chairs heavily. “I don’t like it either but… if we don’t do something we’re all going to starve.”
Yuzu stared at the floor in shock. Her mouth moved but made no noise.
“I know it’s hard to hear but I don’t want your foals to go hungry, you know?” You looked away dramatically. “I think it would be best if we-”
“-gabe dem foebah sweepies.” Yuzu finished for you.
That was easy. A smile flashed across your lips before you forced your sad expression back into place. “…Yeah. we could feed maybe one of them, so-”
“Nu, mummah nu hab fabowit. Mummah wub aww babbehs.” Yuzu sat, still staring at the floor. “Yuzu saw mummahs dat nu can make miwkies fo’ babbehs, dey… dey num weast fabowit babbeh. Nu wan’ be wike dat.” She shook her head aggressively.
Well there goes your future breeding plans. “I can do… it, if you want me to. I’ll make it quick and painless. Just… let me know when you’re ready, it doesn’t have to be today, but-”
“Yuzu weady.” Yuzu said firmly. “Nu wan’ wait. Babbehs am happy, hab guud day wif’ happy mummah. If Yuzu wait babbehs hab sad mummah. Nu guud.”
She turned and waddled into the bedroom before you could say anything, returning with the little red foal on her back. Plopping down next to you, she held him up in her hooves, smiling at his tiny yawn.
“Mummah name yu… Wocket.”
“Wocket!!” he chirped. “Wub! Wub!”
You felt grateful she decided to do this right away, in a day or two they would be speaking in full sentences which would make this harder.
Yuzu pulled him close in a tight hug. “Mummah wub yu wots and wots, Wocket.”
“Wub!” His voice was muffled in her fluff.
She slowly lifted him up for you to take, gritting her teeth as tears welled up in her eyes.
Rocket wrapped his hooves around your thumb. You scratched under his chin with a finger as he cooed, then quickly grabbed him around the neck and pulled until you heard a pop. When you released him he fell limp into your palm, a look of bliss still on his tiny face.
“Bye-bye, little buddy.” You gently set him down on the table and nodded to Yuzu.
She took a deep breath, returning with the teal foal curled in her fluff. She sat, pulling the sleeping baby off her back and cuddled her in her hooves.
“Mummah name yu Ocean, wittow babbeh.” She pulled the foal into a gentle hug, careful not to wake her. “Mummah wub yu wots and wots, nebah fo’get yu.”
Ocean was handed to you, and she snuggled into your palm, cooing happily. You adjusted her for a better grip before snapping her neck and setting her next to her brother. You scooted them together, as if they were sleeping in a little fluffpile.
“Huu…” Yuzu sniffled next to you.
“I know. I don’t like it either. Better this than a slow, painful death.” You gave her a reassuring pat on the head.
This was gentler than most of the ways you could have slaughtered them; the snare would have been relatively painful and slow as they struggled to breathe, slitting their throats would have been fast but terrifying to the ones waiting for their turn, and taking care of them one by one as you needed food would leave them wondering who was next. This way they didn’t feel anything other than their mothers love and the joy of being named.
Yuzu went into the bedroom again, returning with the green foal sitting excitedly between her shoulder blades, almost invisible in her green mane. Sitting down, the foal slid off her back and walked with unsteady hooves in front of her.
“Mummah name yu Weaf.” Yuzu said, trying to subtly wipe away a tear.
“Weaf!!” the foal shouted. “Weaf! Weaf!!”
“Yus, dat yu!” Yuzu scooped the foal up into a hug, nuzzling her nose against Leaf. “Mummah wub yu wots and wots.”
“Wub!!” Leaf chirped as she was handed off to you. Looking up with big, trusting eyes she repeated herself. “Wub!!”
“Love you too.” You forced yourself to smile as you scratched behind her ears, slowly working your fingers into position. She cooed in bliss as you grabbed her head and pulled, the sharp pop telling you you’d done it correctly. She was added to the growing pile of dead foals.
“Wun mowe.” Yuzu mumbled, returning to the bedroom.
Your hands felt dirty even though Yuzu was very careful to clean her foals well. You tried to push the feeling away. This was no different than the rabbits you trapped. A quick death was a mercy, and you’d honor their sacrifice with a good hearty meal. You’d been feeling a little off lately, so you were hoping a real meal would help. The backpacking meals were delicious but weren’t designed for someone to survive indefinitely off them so you were thinking some sort of vitamin deficiency was getting you under the weather. Fluffy stew should cure that, if not you’d break into your multivitamins. You’d been taking a vitamin D supplement since you entered but it seemed like you needed more.
Yuzu returned with the last foal carried by the scruff. She set the orange filly on the concrete floor and immediately had to step on her tail to keep her from running off.
“Wan’ spwowe!!” She peeped.
“Not nao, babbeh.” Yuzu held her out like all the others smiling sadly at the struggling foal. “Mummah name yu Spawky!”
Sparky’s eyes grew wide, practically vibrating with joy. “Spawky!! Spawky!!”
Yuzu chuckled as she hugged her last foal. “Mummah wub yu wots an’ wots.” Her voice caught in her throat as she continued. “Nebah fo’get yu. Nebah fo’get any babbeh.”
“Wub!” Sparky said, returning her hug as best as her little hooves could.
Yuzu handed her to you, unable to look you in the eyes.
“Wub!!” Sparky said, wriggling in your grasp.
“Hold still, I don’t want to drop you!” You said, trying to slide your hands into position. Sparky calmed slightly, still looking around the room curiously. You gripped her midsection as your fingers scratched their way up her neck, feeling her lean into it. You rubbed under her chin until her eyes closed in pleasure before grabbing her head and snapping her neck like all the foals before her.
“…It’s done.” You said softly, setting Sparky with her siblings.
Yuzu nodded silently next to you, staring down at the floor. “Babbehs nu hab’ tummeh huwties, nu hab any huwties.”
“Yeah… you did the right thing.”
You reached out to pet her and she flinched away from your hand. “Yuzu… wan’ be awone fo’ wittow bit.” She slowly waddled into the bedroom.
“Alright, I’ll take care of them from here.” You watched her nose the door shut, and as you stood to start your preparations her thin wail shot through your chest. You shook your head, it was a shame this hurt her so much, but it wasn’t like you lied to her. There really wasn’t enough food for all of them. You might have been able to keep one, maybe two but you stockpiled a year’s food for two people. One human and a fluffy could probably stretch that to two years, but 5 fluffies would eat significantly more than a human. Not only would you run out of food quicker than you planned, but even if you got them using the toilet like Yuzu they would quickly overwhelm your methane generator. It was for the best.
Filling a pot with water from your distillation system, you laid each foal out on the cutting board. They were still small, so butchering them would be difficult but since you were making soup you could just leave the bones in. The meat would fall off once they were done.
You flipped Sparky over, fingers feeling along her belly for where her ribs ended while you looked through the drawers for a proper knife. You had a boning knife somewhere, the narrow tip would make this easy. You’d have to move quickly and get the entrails down the toilet before Yuzu recovered. She’d never trust you again if she saw you butchering her children.
You found the knife and turned back to the foals to realize you were rubbing Sparky’s belly. You shook your head. These weren’t pets, these were meat. Meat you needed to survive. You set the tip of the knife just below her ribcage, running through the steps in your head. Slice open the belly, remove intestines, skin, quarter, into the pot. It was simple. Something you’d done to many other creatures; deer, boar, squirrels, ducks, even a black bear once. This was practically muscle memory at this point. You could dress a deer in a few minutes in the dark. This was as routine as breathing to you.
But your knife point stayed just above Sparky’s soft fluff, trembling in your grip.
You sighed and set the knife down. What is wrong with you? These were vermin! They ate into your rations, the ones you needed to survive!!
Stepping back and leaning against the table, you examined the dead foals splayed out belly up on the cutting board. What was even the point of surviving? Everyone you knew was dead, and you had no way of knowing if there was even a world to return to. It could be a nuclear winter out there, you could be the last human on the planet for all you knew. You had no girlfriend, no family, no friends…
Just Yuzu.
You sighed heavily and returned to the cutting board. “I’m sorry. Let’s put you all to rest.”
You gently rolled each foal over and curled them as if they were sleeping before wrapping them tightly in toilet paper. One by one you carried them to the toilet and set them gently at the bottom before flushing. It was as close as you could get to a burial, the methane generator would allow their bodies to rot away to nothing much like the dirt would.
Once each foal was laid to rest you dug into the back of the pantry until you found some of your special occasion foods. Among the boxes of cake mix and frostings was two packs of mac and cheese. The fancy kind, with the cheese sauce packet instead of the powder. You dumped the noodles in the pot of boiling water and set a timer before picking up your book again.
After a few pages of your novel Yuzu tapped on the door. You opened it for her and she waddled out, ears drooping and cheeks tearstained.
“You feel any better?”
“Nu.”
You felt stupid for asking as she sat next to the table.
“… Do you need a hug?” You asked, kneeling next to her.
She stared you for a moment, eyes red and puffy, before nodding silently.
You picked her up and hugged her tightly, sitting back down in your chair. “It was the right thing to do, you and I are going to have to make a lot more hard decisions in the future. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s certainly not something babies should have to experience.”
“Yuzu am wowst mummah!” She sobbed into your chest.
“No…” you patted her back, curling tighter around her. “You made a choice that hurts you very much so your babies wouldn’t hurt at all. It was right.”
Yuzu nodded, not pulling her face from your chest.
“You can stay right here as long as you like, okay?” You shifted to hold her with one arm and grab your book with your other. “When the timer goes off we’ll have a nice dinner and then maybe watch a movie. Does that sound good?”
Yuzu nodded again. You patted her on the back as you returned to your novel.