Bob walked into the alley to smoke.
Usually he’d just inflict his cigarette smoke on everybody around him in public like the antisocial asshole he was, but he was in the mood for a change in scenery.
“Hewwo! Nice Mistah gibe nummies su Mummah can make miwkies for bestest babbeh?”
Bob looked down.
At his feet were a female green and blue pegasus fluffy and her foal.
And the foal was…
SO FUCKING FAT!
The thing was damn near-spherical!
Judging by the size, weight, and chirping sounds it was making…
“Tell me about your foal.”
The mare beamed.
“Dat am Mummah’s bestest widdwe sens-ah-tibe babbeh! Wub him su muchies!”
The foal started peeping hungrily and she immediately put him on a teat where he suckled happily, letting out a few farts as she gazed at him adoringly.
Bob was still flabbergasted.
“He’s so round! Like a ball!”
He’d seen pictures of sensitive foals before, but nothing like this!
Then he got an idea.
Reaching down Bob picked up the sensitive foal, who started chirping in distress.
The mare immediately protested.
“Nuu! Bestest Babbeh nu habe enuff miwkies yet! Am tuu widdwe fow upsies!”
“‘Too little?!’ What are you talking about?! He’s morbidly obese!” scoffed Bob.
“Pwease gibe sens-ah-tibe babbeh back to Mummah!” the mare begged.
Bob shooks his head, hefting the foal in his hand.
“No way am I passing up the chance to watch this tub of lard go splat!”
The mare started screaming.
“Nuu! Nu huwt bestest babbeh! Am onwy widdwe babbeh, nu du anyting wong!”
Laughing maniacally Bob hurled the fat foal against the alley wall.
The foal impacted with the wall and with a squishy ‘SPLOING!’ sound rebounded.
Directly into Bob’s forehead.
Bob was knocked unconscious by the momentum he’d imparted into the foal.
“YAY! Bestest sens-ah-tibe babbeh am otay!” cheered the mare.
She hoisted her foal onto her back, stole Bob’s wallet from his pocket, and trotted off.
