(The screen shows a flashing ad as an announcer speaks.)
The newest breakthrough in toilet technology for wealthy pieces of shit who’d rather spend their money on absurd toys rather than fix the world’s problems: The Fluffy Misery Poop Pit!
Rather than flush your solid waste into the sewers (Like a peasant!) our patented toilet instead drops your 1%er fecal matter into a pit filled with fluffies!
Glass walls allow you to watch their misery as they are forced to live in, eat, and suffer in a habitat made entirely out of human poop!
We got the idea for this product after one of our rich clients came up with a similar idea about doing it with poor people instead of fluffies. But that’s currently against the law and we got to the patent office first, so suck it, Elon!
(The camera cuts to a demonstration of the device, where human excrement is currently raining down on a group of miserable fluffies.)
“PWEASE! NU MOWE POOPIES!”
“BABBEHS?! WHEWE BABBEHS?! AM BUWIED UNDEW POOPIES, NUUUUU!!!”
“chirp. mummah, hewp, babbeh stuck!”
“He hu contwows da poopies contwows da unibewse.”
“POOPIES AM BAD FOW SOON-MUMMAH!”
“DIS AM SMAWTIES POOPIES NAO!”
“Wingies, pwease fwy fwuffy up away fwom hewe!”
“Da poopies must fwow.”
“HEWP! PWEASE HEWP!!!”
“Huhuhuhu, wannadie.”
Buy our products! It’s not like you’re going to spend it on anything better, you rich fuckers!