“Alright… this thing on? We got audio? OK great.”
Exiting the stark white testing room, August took a seat behind the control panel. Having confirmed that the recording setup was functioning as expected, he spoke into the microphone set up at his workstation.
“OK, this is Smarty Collar Prototype Testing Series 002, this test will center around the total output levels of the device battery and the effect of various voltages on test subject physiology. Releasing test subject Alpha now.”
A press of a button later, and a small door on the side of the test chamber slid open. A moment passed before a cyan coated fluffy pony cautiously waddled out his carrier. Sniffing the air for a moment, as he scanned the chamber he soon spoke aloud.
“Whewe am fwuffy?”
As the fluffy expressed confusion at its new surroundings, August continued to record his observations.
The fluffy was intermittently trying to scratch at the collar around his neck, with it clearly causing him some discomfort.
“Subject is consious and ambulatory. Test assistant will now enter chamber and provoke a response from the subject.” August nodded to his coworker, Isaac, and the man entered the test chamber.
As soon as the door opened, and Isaac passed through into the chamber, the fluffy inside first registered mild surprise, but then immediately transitioned into the signature “threatening” posture of a smarty - cheeks puffed up and legs spread as though ready to charge at any moment.
“Dummeh mistah, whewe am fwuffy? Wan’ hewd bak!”
Isaac said nothing, instead continuing to stare at the creature dispassionately. At the control panel, August confirmed the subject’s smarty response as being in accord with expected parameters. Now the test could begin in earnest.
“Activating collar. Testing voltage at 10% battery output.”
The smarty was growing more and more irate as he stared down the man in front of him. Why wasn’t he saying anything when he’d asked him a question? Clearly this man was even more of a dummy than he’d thought. If words failed, then it was time to resort to force.
“Gib sowwy poo-SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Before he could finish his sentence, the smarty felt a sharp stinging pain in his neck, with the sudden sensation causing him to jolt backwards in surprise.
“Wha’ huwt fwuffy?”
The fluffy looked around in confusion, trying to locate who or what had hurt him. He first thought it had been the dummeh hooman in front of him, but he hadn’t moved at all.
“Subject response to shock at 10% output registered as pained vocalization and mild confusion. Subject’s biometric readings confirm no ill effects aside from the immediate pain response. Increasing output to 25%.”
Inside the chamber, the smarty had for the most party shaken off this strange pain, and since no cause was evident, it was dismissed as an oddity. With that strangeness settled, the Smarty returned to interrogate Isaac.
“Dum-SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
The fluffy’s howl of pain was quite a bit larger this time, as was his bodily response. He fell over, crying loudly as the electric shock briefly overwhelmed his nervous system. The pain was much more pronounced this time, and the effects much slower to dissipate. With the second shock, the smarty was able to determine that the pain was coming from the collar attached to his neck. As the pained fluffy lay there on the ground, it vocalized its confusion to a greater extent.
“Huuuhuuuhuuu why neckie-ringie huwt fwuffy? Am gud fwuffy huuuuuuuu…”
In total, it took the fluffy 15 minutes to be able to stand - shakily at that. It’s previous confident manner was replaced with fearfulness, as it’s tiny mind began to think that perhaps this pain was not just an isolated incident.
Alexander noted the results for the recording, and decided to pause the experiment until the subject could recover. Isaac left the chamber, then returned with a bowl of canned spaghetti and a bowl of water. Placing them in a corner, he then left the room once more.
The fluffy for his part suddenly displayed a much meeker way of carrying himself than earlier. Any smarty in normal condition would most certainly have dived towards the tantalizing food at the first oppurtunity. However, the strange environment and the painful experiences he’d undergone made him much more cautious, as he slowly creeped towards the bowl of cheap pasta. Slowly and fearfully he began to eat it.
Deciding that this was as good a time as any to leave for his own lunch break, Alex disabled the collar and began to make his way toward the facility cafeteria.
+++
August’s was out to lunch for around an hour, and upon returning to his workstation, he was pleased to note the fluffy was once again looking much more arrogant, with his cheeks puffed out, glaring at the door leading outside the chamber.
August reactivated the device, and resumed the session recording.
“It has been approximately one hour since previous test, subject appears to have recovered sufficiently. Recommencing device testing, device output now set to 50%.”
August considered for a moment, and decided that he could probably speed things up if he switched the device from automatic to manual control. It was best to get this over with as soon as possible. Sure, shocking fluffies was easy enough work, but it wasn’t particularly intellectually stimulating by any metric.
August motioned to Isaac, and the man once again entered the chamber.
The fluffy, seemingly having forgotten all about the painful experience that he had undergone a mere hour ago, glared at Isaac as he came into view.
“Dummeh hoomin! Gib smawty mowe sketties nao!” The fluffy puncuated his words with a hoof stomp, that would have no doubt have intimidated Isaac, if he too was a 10lb technicolor horse-rat-thing, and not a full grown man. Noticing that the device had failed to go off, Isaac shot a questioning glance towards the panel of smoked glass, behind which was located August’s workstation.
August for his part took this moment to hit the switch that would activate the collar.
“Dummeh hoomin gib sketties!” The fluffy said once again, having received no reply whatsoever from Isaac. It was about to speak once more when the second shock registered.
This time there was no screaming, the fluffy merely fell on it’s side limply, as its mouth hung open in a silent scream. His legs twitched and spasmed sproadically, as the powerful electric shock had rendered the small creature completely paralyzed. All it could do was try to breathe as his entire body felt like it was on fire.
“Subject is undergoing severe paralysis, as a result of shock at 50% output. Biometrics suggest minor nervous system damage. Could result in twitching or muscle spasms after subject recovers from paralysis.”
“Alright, no point in wasting any more time”, August thought to himself.
“Increasing device output to 75%. Administering shock in 3… 2… 1…”
The final shock had even less of an immediately visible effect than the previous one. The fluffy merely twitched violent as the current ran through his body, then went completely still. Blood slowly began to trickle out of the unfortunate test subject’s eyes and ears.
“Biometrics confirm subjet died instantly as a result of shock administered at 75% output. Exact cause of death pending autopsy. Preliminary observations of device power output would suggest, that limiting final product power source only capable of shocks equivalent of test device at 25% output. Test is now concluded”
“Fucking finally”, August spoke aloud, relieved that the menial test was finally over. Perhaps now they’d get him back in the R&D labs instead of doing work that could be done by an intern.
Calling Isaac over, August began to make his way out of the testing lab, when he suddenly stopped.
“Oh. Almost forgot.”, he said, turning to the intercom device next to the exit door.
“Biological waste cleanup needed in testing lab #3.”