“DADDEH! FWUFFY WAN BE PIWWOW!”
I couldn’t believe what she was saying. My adorable pink fluffy who loved giving me huggies and running around. Who loved stacking blocks and dancing for me. Now she WANTS to lose her legs?
“FwuffyTeeBee say piwwowfwuffies am bessess an hab biggess heawt happiess! Wan be piwwowfwuffy an be bessess fwuffy fo daddeh! Wan biggess heawt happiess!”
She was bouncing up and down in excitement.
“Are you sure? Do you know what pil-”
“Fwuffy knu ebwyting bou piwwowfwuffies! FwuffyTeeBee say aww piwwowfwuffies ged bessess huggies an awe awways wubbed! Say ged bessess nummies an toysies! Wan be bessess piwwowfwuffy fo daddeh! Pwease wet fwuffy be piwwow daddeh! Pwomise be weawwy gud fo’eba!”
“YAAAYYYY BIGGESS HEAWT HAPPIESS! DU BESSESS DANCIES FO DADDEH!”, she said, dancing her little heart out, “Can fwuffy hab huggies?”
“Of course.” I said, reaching down and picking her up
“Gib bessess daddeh bessess huggies!”, she said, not knowing she was doing so for the last time.
As we drove to the nearest pet store with a pillowing machine we listened to FluffyFM. My fluffy girl sang along to every song on the drive, standing in her seat at red lights to dance. She was happier than I had ever seen her. Her eyes lit up when we got to the pet store.
“GASP Am dat piwwow stowe?”
“Uhh yeah this is the one.”
“YAAAAAYYYYY SU CITED! HUWWY DADDEH HUWWY!”, she wailed as she pawed at the passenger side door.
I walked around and opened the door and she leapt out, prancing around me.
“Wub bessess daddeh! Su cited tu be piwwow!”
We walked side by side to the front door. I opened it and she hopped into the store, cheering. I walked up to the front desk to order a private pillow room.
“Tell her about skettis or somethin?”, the clerk asked, running my card.
“N-no actually uhmm it was… her idea.”
“It wants to be a pillow?”
“She wants to be a pillow.”
I shrugged and grabbed my card. I walked over to my fluffy who was hopping and leaping around the store. She was cheering about being a pillowfluffy. As she did I noticed someone walking into a pillow room with a fluffy who began freaking out and sobbing after hearing her sing.
“Alright you ready?”
“YISS DADDEH! TU CITED CAN NU TAK IT! WETS GU!”
She charged ahead to an open room and I followed her in, closing the door behind me. She would go from running in circles to dancing to jumping around in seconds of each other, unable to contain herself.
“Alright time for upsies.”
“YAAAYYYYY UPSIES YAYYYY!”
“Can you give daddeh a big hug for me?”, I said, not wanting to do this to her.
“OB COURSE DADDEH! GIB BESSESS HUGGIES FO BESSESS DADDEH! DANK OU SU MUCHIES FO MAK PIWWOW! WUB DADDEH!”
“I love you too, girl.”, I said standing her on the table, “Now just put your legs in those holes and we will get started i guess.”
“Otay, daddeh! Teeheehee dis am hawd tu cited to keeb weggies stiww teehe- OOOP! Teeheehee weggie faww in howe! Cum on odda weggies gu in piwwow howes!”
She laughed as she slid her legs around the table until they would fall into the holes. Once she was stuck I started the machine. One of the first options was to show clips from FluffyTV, specifically ones with lots of running and hugging and playing. I decided to play it hoping it would make it easier on her.
“YAAYYYY Wook daddeh! Odda fwuffies am on teebee teeheehee! Wub odda fwuffies wan gib huggies an pway togeder!”
She wagged her tail as she watched babies hug and micros race around. The next option I was faced with was to do all the legs at once or to do them separate.
“A-are you sure you want to be a pillowfluffy? Everything you love requires that you have le-”
“FWUFFY WAN BE PIWWOWFWUFFY! PWEASE DADDEH MAK FWUFFY INDO PIWWOW!”
She had reached peak excitement. I thought she was going to leap out of the machine. Her eyes were focused of the screen watching the fluffies as her tail whipped around super fast. I could tell her legs were moving around in their confines, wanting to make it to the fluffies on the TV. I pressed the button to take one leg off.
Back left leg. Buzzsaw.
“Teeheehee fwuffies am su pewtty gun wun tu fwuffies an gib bessess huggies den pway wit toysies! Wub pwet- SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE huuuuuhuuuuuuhuuuuuu wa habben huuuuuuu daddeh hewp fwuffy huuuhuuuu!”, The cut was fast and clean. The leg seemed to just fall off of her body, “Huuuuu fwuffies nu waugh an pway huuuu hewp fwuffy huuuhuuuu daddeh sabe fwuffy fwom munstah huuuuuu munstah gib wowstest weggie pwace huwties huuuhuuuuu!”
“This is why I asked. You said you wanted to be a pillowfluff. I’m sorry but fluffies can’t just have three legs I have to finish this.”, I said, now really annoyed.
“NU huuuuhuuu nu wan weggie pwace huwties huuuu nee huggies nee kissies huuuuuhuuuu!”
Front right leg. Garden shears.
“Huuuuuuhuuuuu wai nu feew weggie wai onwy huwties on fw- SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE HUUUHUUUU nu mo huwties munstah huuuuuhuuuu am gud fwuffy huuuuuu! Pwease sabe fwuffy daddeh huuuhuuuu!”
“I can’t. If I take you out of the machine now you might bleed out. I have to finish it so it’ll bandage you and you can be the happy pillowfluff you wanted to be!”, I said now starting to enjoy this.
Back right. Hammer.
“Pwease munstah huuuuuu am gud fwuffy nu gib huwties! TeeBee fwuffies! Pwease hewp gud fwuffy huuuhuuu am stuckies wit munstah huuuu- SCREEEEEEEEEEEE NU MO NU MO HUUUUHUUUU!”
A hammer was lifted to leg height and was swung at speeds I could not see. Her leg whipped to the back of the machine with a loud ‘CA-THUNK’.
“WAI WEGGIE PWACE HUWTIES WAI NU FEEW HOOVSIES HUUUHUUU JUS WAN BE PIWWOW WAI MUNSTAH GIB WOWSTEST HUWTIES HUUUUU!”
Front left. Acid.
“Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu nu wan mo huwties wan be homsie huuuhuuu wan pway wit bwokies and gib huggies. Wan wun an pway huuuhuuuu wai munstah gib fwuffy huwties huuuuuuu jus wan be bessess piwwow huuuuu. W-w-wa am n-nu sc-scr-SCREEEEEEEE SCREEEEEEEEEEE NUNU NU WAN SCREEEEE HEWP DADDEH HUUUU TEEBEE FWUFFIES HEWP SCREEEEEEE MUNSTAH GIB WOSTEST BUWNIE HUWTIES SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!”
A tall glass of clear liquid was slowly lifted up, right around her last leg. She tried to kick and trash with her final leg but it was no use. The uncaring machine kept a firm grip on the acid as it lifted up giving her no chance to escape. She continued to scream as the machine held the glass still at her shoulder. After about a minute the glass lowered.
The leg. Gone.
“HUUUUUUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUUUUUU DADDEH SABE FWUFFY HUUUUUUHUUUUU!”
“Good girl, all done! Let’s go home now… Pillowfluff!”
“GASP Fwuffy am piwwow nao?! A-am bessess piwwowfwuffy wit biggess heawt happiess and bessess huggies?!”
“Thats right!”, I said, hugging her gently.
“YAAAYYYY SU HAPPI AM PIWWOWFWUFFY! DANK OU DADDEH GIB BESSESS HUGGIES TU BESS- Gib hu- hug- SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEWE WEGGIES SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NU CAN GIB HUGGIES HUUUUHUUUUU MUNSTAH TAK WEGGIES WAY HUUUUUUU KNU NAO WAI NU CAN FEEW PWETTY HOOVSIES HUUUHUUUUU!”
“This is what you asked for. You wanted to be a pillow and here we are.”
“Huuuuuuu nu knu piwwows nu hab weggies huuuhuuu how fwuffy gun hab biggess heawt happiess wit nu weggies? Nu can wun or pway. Nu can gib huggies huuuuhuuuu WAN DU DANCIES HUUUUHUUUUU!”
“Tried to tell ya but you wanted to listen to the TV. Tried to say ‘yo dawg everything you love requires having legs’ but nah. Whatever though, you’ll be easier to take care of now.”
“Huuuuuuuuu nu wan huuuhuuuu pwease daddeh gib fwuffy weggies baksies huuuhuuu!”
“It doesn’t work that way. They are gone now. They will never come back, grow back, or whatever. You wanted to be a pillowfluff and that is a permanent decision. Start getting used to it because I won’t deal with your shit constantly.”
“S-SC-SCAWEDY POOPIES SCREEEEEEEE HUUUUHUUUUHUUUUUU NEE WEGGIES WAN WEGGIES HUUUUUHUUUUU!”
“Alright lets get you home!”
“Huuuuhuuuu nu daddeh nu weave weggies huuuuhuuuu munstah stiww hab dem nu wet munstah keeb weggies huuuuuhuuuuuu fwuffy nee huuuuuuu!”
I put her on the floor of the car in case she had another case of the scaredies. She ‘huuuhuuuued’ the whole way home. Once parked I got out and opened her car door.
“Alright, let’s go!”, I said motioning her out.
“Oh, that’s right.” I picked her up and as she wailed in my arms I carried her inside, to her saferoom.
“Here you are, girl!”, I put her down facing the TV, “Here, I’ll put on the TV so you can watch to your hearts content. Now you don’t have to do anything but watch TV and be cute! Here I’ll even put your blocks near you!”
“HUU-HUUUU-HUUUUUUUUUUU WAN WEGGIES HUUUUUU NU WAN BE PIWWOW NU MO HUUUUUHUUUUUU FWUFFYTEEBEE WIED NU HAB HEAWT HAPPIESS HUUUUUHUUUU HEAWT HAPPIESS CUM FWOM HUGGIES AND PWAY HUUUUHUUUU FWUFFIES NU FO PIWWOW HUUUUHUUUUUU WAI AWE DEWE PIWWOWFWUFFIES HUUUUHUUUUUU WAI TAK WEGGIES AM ONWY TING FWUFFY HAB HUUUHUUUU NU CAN DU ANYTING HUUU WAN PWAY WIT BWOKIES WAN GIB HUGGIES HUUUUHUUU!”
“Alright well enjoy your new life that you wanted!”
I quickly left, closing the door behind me as she continued to wail.
“Huuuuuuuuuuuu pwease nu be meanie teebee huuuu nu show nu weggie fwuffy odda weggie fwuffies huuuuhuuu wan gib huggies tu wan wub huuhuu wan pway wit bwokies huuuuu bwokies am su cwose huuuuuhuuuuuu wai nu stak bwokies huuuuu.”