Hiya folks, how often do we go to the local Fluffmart to get a cheap shit-pig for your best friend? Only for them to rip it up in mere seconds. Your pet deserves better, and thats where SQUEAKIES come in!! Former Hasbio scientists and the Kong Company have come together to create a biotoy catered to your canine’s needs.
Above you can see the two variations our Collab has successfully produced, the red Klassic, and the gray Assorted Squeaky.
The skin of Squeakies is made primarily of a polymer simulating rubber. Only their eyes and tongue are organic replicants. Their legs, although rubbery, can get ripped out with enough twist and pressure, in case keeping track of it becomes too difficult
[Caution: Excessive pressure on the biotoy can cause the eyes to completely bulge out of the body, limit to pet usage only]
Although their excessive fluff speak was not removed, we managed to replace their chirps and peeps with squeaks reminiscent of that of popular squeak toys, hence our (currently pending) name. I highly recommend getting an SBS subtype, since all they do is squeak. The dogs sample testing group reacted highly positive to the SBS Squeaky.
For only $12.99, these biotoys can last your pet for a full year, and unlike the local fluffy, has extra features for your good ol Snoopy
Relax, hugmaxxers!! It aint what it looks like!! Squeakies have a cylindrical “shell” extending from their posterior. This allows you to not only insert a max of 3 small sized biscuits, but makes cleaning the Squeakies’ waste a heck of a lot easier.
As you can see from our diagram, our fluffies reproduce asexually, and this is only possible in our labs. The Kong Company is aware of the feral fluffy growth and does not seek in increasing it any further. So what ya say?! Come on down to the local Fluffmart and get your Fellow Fido a Squeaky.
Aww shit last thing, pls don’t let your Squeaky in hot environments, our testing has shown that they are susceptible to melting. Kong Company is not responsible for the littering of Squeakies(trademark pending).
