This is an outtake from Stitches, a short story that goes to some very dark places. This scene is no longer canon, but it probably would have happened if the circumstances were a little different.
“Nyu mummah?”
“Foster.”
“Nyu fostah mummah, wai wook wike daddeh?”
Marisa thinks Celestia is asking why she looks like David at first, and she can’t tell whether she should be insulted or not.
“Huh?”
“Umm… nyu fostah mummah hab daddeh cwobesies, an’ widdwe headsie-fwuff, an’ smeww pwetty!”
It occurs to Marisa that her dead sort-of-ex-friend’s pet fluffy thinks she looks like a lesbian. Fucking incredible.
“Eeee! Wai bad wowdsies? Sessie sowwy!”
Oh. She said that out loud.
“I mean- Shit.”
“Nuuuuuu! Fwuffy wub nyu mummah!”
“I mean fuck.”
“I mean fuck.”
“I mean shit.”
“I mean.” She clamps her hand over her mouth.
“NUUUUUUHUUUUHUUUHUUUUUUUU!”
Celestia has gone from completely calm to full-on seizure meltdown within the span of fifteen seconds. Marisa has to catch her and set her on the floor to make sure she doesn’t fall off the couch and break her neck, and even though she hasn’t said anything else, Celestia covers her ears the best she can with the pom-poms on her front hooves and kicks around in circles with her back hooves. Every little move she makes sends specks of glitter into the air and onto the floor. All because of some swear words.
Celestia crawls to her feet after a minute. She looks up at Marisa like the most kicked little puppy that ever got kicked, and the whole event would be mortifying if it weren’t so viscerally hilarious. It occurs to Marisa that she’s faced with an animal that has a built-in swear filter, and she knows in her heart that she could never take care of one of these things in the long term.
Sorry, David. She has to know.
She eyes the teary-eyed little freak of gengineering before her, experimentally raises her fist, and extends her middle finger.
Eventually, Marisa has to compose herself and carefully reassure Celestia that there will be no more “bad wordsies” and no more “scary finger”, even though that’s the funniest thing she’s heard all week. They watch TV together.
Other assorted clarifications:
-Celestia naturally produces glitter because she’s a rejected designer fluffy.
-Celestia calls herself “Sessie” because she’s stupid.
-All fluffies have a profanity filter in this canon, but some have stronger reactions to being cursed at than others.
-Whether Marisa is actually a lesbian or not is irrelevant.
