Subverted Expectations, Part 3 (by me, jimmyhopkins

(Decided to make this one a bit shorter, probably gonna try and keep them within 800 words from now on.)

You are an average guy. Sure, you might have some, eh, non-average hobbies, but it keeps you from going postal, and hell, its good for the environment as far as you’re concerned. And besides, do fluffies really have consciousness, or are they just made to imitate consciousness very well?

Regardless, you have had a very non-average day. You had just bought three new fluffies, when someone ran directly into you and knocked you over. When you came to, the 3 fluffies were gone, and there was a handwritten note in your pocket. The note was barely legible, but it said something about the fluffies being injured and the writer taking them to the vet. A brief wave of anger hit you when you when you realized that your fluffies were gone. 70 dollars worth of fluffies, gone.

The wave of anger was replaced with joy when you noticed something else in your pocket. Two one hundred dollar bills! Sure, the fluffies were gone, and you likely wouldn’t be able to buy from this shop again given the clerk looked like he was going to rip your head off and shit down your neck, but hot damn, two hundred dollars! Tomorrow, you’d wake up bright and early, and head out looking for a fluffy shop to buy from. Heck maybe you’d even keep one of these affronts to God as a pet! Now now, lets not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just stick to what we know for now.

You headed back home, and heard the sound of Fireball crying and shouting. You couldn’t tell if it was him or the video, but a quick listen revealed it to be both. “MUMMAH! SABE BABBEH!” screamed the video Fireball. “TEEBEE BOXIE PWEASE STOP SHOWING MEANIE PICTCHUS” screamed the Fireball sitting in front of the computer. You walk over, turning the computer off and pick up Fireball. “W-wan weggies backsies, nu wan be no-weggie piwwow nu mowe.” he said between sobs. You just held him up, looked at him, and smiled. Saying nothing, you give one of his stumps a tickle. “N-nu touch Fiwebaww dewe!” he said, squirming. You put him in his safe room, also known as a closet that could fit one normal human with a slight degree of comfort. “D-daddeh, pwease wet Fiwebaww haf weggies back nao? Fiwebaww wiw be gud.” He looked up at you, a slight glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Smiling down at him, you give him a sharp, swift “No.” The hope crumbles away as soon as you say that. “B-but Fiwebaww wiw be gud fwuffy, wiw nebah make bad poopies, o’ ask fo anyting!” he was tearing up again. “Fiwebaww jus wan wun an pway an gif daddeh huggies! Fiwebaww can’t do nuffin aw day cept watch odah fwuffies wun an p-p-pway and gif huggies on da teebee! F-f-fiwebaww su scawdies an saddies aw da time, an haf wowstest dweamies! P-pwease daddeh, wet Fiwebaww haf weggies back!” He was bawling his eyes out now. You continue smiling at him. “Fireball, you didn’t lose your legs because you were a bad fluffy. It’s just how things go.” Fireball cries harder. “Huuhuuhuu, w-why dis happen tu Fiwebaww? F-Fiwebaww nebah do nuffin wong, an jus wan tu be happeh!” Your smile instantly faded. “Happy? You wanted to be happy?” Fireball looks up at you, confused by the question. “Y-yeh, Fiwebaww jus wan be happy wif daddeh, an make oddah fwuffies and hoomies happeh! Dat’s wut fwuffies awe fo!” You frown.

“Let me tell you something, Fireball. I was a lot like you. Bright eyed, idealistic, wanted to make everyone happy, wanted to BE happy. I did well in school, played with my toys, enjoyed life. Then I had to leave home, and I realized that the world was nothing like what I wanted it to be. No one cares about anyone else. No one works to make anyone else happy without some ulterior motive. Humans are selfish creatures. They only care about something if it has something to offer them. No human will hesitate to step on, use, abuse, and throw away anyone and anything to get to where they want to be. The only reason ANYONE does ANYTHING is for their own enjoyment. There’s no other reason.”

Fireball looked at you with an increasingly confused face. You could fill your anger boiling. “All my life I wanted that to not be true, but experience has taught me otherwise. Everyone thinks they’re the exception to the rule. But everyone is kidding themselves. Love is something that humans made up to make themselves feel better about being cruel, terrible things. And we passed all of our worst traits onto you. I tried to look past the faults, just like I did with humanity. But, again, experience taught me otherwise. Do you know how many fluffies I’ve found outside, crushed by other fluffies for being different? How many fluffies I’ve seen fighting in the streets for a strand of rancid pasta? You are EVERYTHING I hate about humanity, Fireball. You and every one of your kind.”

Fireball was broken. He looked down, dejectedly. “W-wan die.” he whispered. You sigh. “Me too.”


This guy sounds almost eerily relatable. As a child, I too used to be like a fluffy - innocent, optimistic, and trusting that in time all problems would get fixed because a better world would benefit everyone. It’s exactly why fluffies need to be innocent to be therapeutic - so that you can shit on them with impunity and show that some humans just are bad, and will abuse you for no reason beyond just causing more suffering.

That last line really hit the nail, capturing the feeling perfectly.


yeah, the two protagonists kinda represent myself in different ways. the side that trusts that the universe will sort everything out, and humans are inherrently good, and the side of me that talks like a supervillain because its cool. dont worry there wont be a plot twist where “whoa theyre the same guy” im not doing that that is silly


You just managed to make me relate to a character I felt zero connection with before. I really can’t argue with what he said at the end. That is also why I really dislike children. I’m not saying I would go and hurt one, or that I support anyone else doing that. But still, the feeling is really relatable


part four is out and i think its pretty cool imo

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Dang. This is getting really good. I like that you have two shitheads for protagonist: twaty cunthead and cunty twathead. Interesting choice :slight_smile:


But loving the story :smiley:


I swear on me jacobs that the even numbered protagonist isn’t supposed to be a cunt hes just supposed to be weird


Hey, as long as you get the formatting fixed (new paragraph per speaker, yo), I’m happy. I am really liking your story, even if I don’t jive with the protagonists. There’s good fluffy abuse and sadbox here, so I’m down. :grin:

Edit: I hope you didn’t take my comment as an insult or disparaging. The fact that I called both protagonists twats, means that they have personalities. And even if I’m not particularly fond of the personalities, that is 1000X better than a protagonist that is supposed to have a personality but comes off as a “blank-slate”. You’re doing an excellent job. :smiley:


oh no i didn’t take it as an insult. if anything it means the characters are well written enough to elicit an emotion lol


Fireball: jus’ wan ba hapi…
Average guy: My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old…


this guy wishes he were as cool as kira


Dude pasta fights could have been the new bum fights if you recorded them