Sugar bell’s babies by (that1hugboxer)

Sugar bell had 2 babies

One was a light brown alicorn with a dark green mane named ghillie

And the other was a glistening yellow Pegasus with a honey colored mane
Named citrine

Daddy had told sugar bell not to play favorites

But citrine was her favorite baby

Sugar bell kept this a secret

She made sure that ghillie got all the milk and love he needed as not to make daddy suspicious

It’s not that sugar bell hated or even disliked ghillie

ghillie was good babbie

But citrine was so beautiful

Sugar bell gave her extra hugs when no one was looking

After all one or two extra hugs wouldn’t hurt citrine right?

It’s not like daddy would find out

Or so sugar bell thought

Unbeknownst to her daddy knew everything

Daddy was simply letting sugar bell sink her own ship if things got bad he would step in

One or two extra hugs suddenly became letting citrine ride on her back while ghillie was forced to walk

When the foals opened their eyes

ghillie began to notice these discrepancies

Citrine got extra hugs

Citrine got to ride on mamma’s back

Everything got rolling when the foals started to talk

ghillie now asked mamma for more hugs

ghillie wanted to ride on mamma’s back

Citrine thankfully wanted ghillie to get the same things she did

Unfortunately sugar bell made excuses as to why she couldn’t do that

Things came to a head when sugar bell excluded ghillie for the fluff pile one night

But in a cruel twist of fate it would be citrine not ghillie who would tell daddy

You see citrine spent a lot of time with queequeg and his sense of compassion rubbed off on the young foal

Citrine didn’t want to tell on mama but if she didn’t then what would happen to ghillie?

Daddy confronts sugar bell

“I’ve heard that you have been mean to ghillie”

Sugar bell was shocked. how did daddy know?

“Shuga bew am good mama! Shuga bew gib Huggies an miwkies tu aw babbies!”

Daddy shook his head

“I know you didn’t let ghillie sleep in the fluff pile last night “

“Buh…buh how daddy know dat?”

“So it is true?”

Sugar bell bit her lip

“Sugar bell I told you the rules before letting you stay here”

“Pwease gib shuga bew nudah chancie! Be good mumma now!”

“I think we should let ghillie decide if you get another chance.”

Sugar bells eyes dilate with fear

“So ghillie do you think mama should get another chance?”

It was as if the walls were closing in around sugar bell

ghillie without skipping a beat gave his answer

“Ghiwie gib mumma nudah chancie. Ghiwie wuv mumma”

“Oh? Well then I guess it’s your lucky day sugar bell”

Sugar bell collapse with a sigh of relief

“But sugar bell”


“If this ever happens again it will be queequeg deciding your fate”

Sugar bell gulps


your storys are getting better! I like this one. maybe try adding more details in the next one? I’m a sucker for little details


Not a bad plot for a story, though the formatting and grammar leave a lot to be desired. I also have no idea what the fuck a queequeg is. Should I?


I’ll try. It’s always been my biggest struggle to do details consistently my writing teacher used to tell me to “add more fluff”

I don’t think either of us could have predicted the irony of that statement :rofl:

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To sum up queequeg he’s a macro cannibal fluffy with a heart of gold who protects the house while his human daddy is at work. Sugar bell is a stray he protected during her pregnancy and she was allowed to stay under the condition that she does right by her foals . Queequeg’ was abandoned by his previous owner who dropped him off at the daycare his current owner worked at, she simply never came back to get him. So if sugar bell mistreats her babies again she will be at the mercy of the the doberman sized queequeg who has major abandonment issues

I have like 20 stores involving queequeg he’s kind of a cornerstone character. His first appearance is in my 2 part story the queequeg incident then expanded upon in queequeg’s lair 1 through 5
, beware of fluffy 1 through 4, the character fully develops in Vicki’s farm 1 through 5 and he’s used as an occasional Cameos character

Sorry for making this so long I just wanted to make sure I covered everything


That… explains a lot.

About the grammar and formatting .

Those two are actually related.

I use the notes function on my phone to write.

Because of how the spacing works I have to exclude punctuation most of the time or risk an even more chaotic format of half sentence. It’s not ideal but I work with what I have available

I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s actually happening in my regular replies. I really am sorry for the inconvenience

Have you tried something like Google Docs? It lets text wrap with no problem. I’ve been using Notes on iOS to write, but also really love Scrivener (although that one is a paid app).

You’re coming along well, though don’t be afraid to write in paragraphs. Taking the time to read back and check everything is worth it, or using the site’s editor. :black_heart:

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The Notes app probably isn’t ideal for writing stories. It might not be a bad idea to try out the Pages app, or Google Docs like Pwuppy mentioned.

I’ve never had any trouble writing in the notes app. Every story I’ve ever written and published was written on the default iPhone Notes app.

Oh yeah, it’s definitely doable. I’m just thinking something like Pages or Google Docs might work better for them, since they said they’re having trouble with spacing and punctuation with Notes.

That’s odd, perhaps I just don’t know how to write properly? Maybe I’m just really out of practice?
Either one is entirely possible.

What do you mean, “how spacing works”? :eyes: Do you have some Made in China app for Notes on your phone or what?

For your information it’s an Ay, Ay, Ay phone ocho

Complete with tortilla oven and mariachi band :rofl:

Where problem?

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