Tales of Euro Fluff
Rory Sheperds stood at the entrance to Fluff mart. He shook like a leaf, or so he thought he did. He was in fact so still the motion sensor stopped picking him up and closed. The only thing to break his trance was the reaction of the cashier, A woman around his age was stealing glances at him while pretending to be operating the register.
Rory swallowed whatever fear he said and thought “this is my first step, no going back now” stepping forward. The doors opened at the new motion and Rory was taken in by the colours. childish ads played on the radio with fluffies reading lines about how to be good fluffies and would advise customers on offers and special’s. , Rory then questioned if those were just fluffy voices, Or a good impressionist. he’d always practice his fluff speak as a hobby. Nevertheless Rory walked up to the woman behind the register.
“Excuse me miss I-”
His face froze as it began to happen again, freezing up visualizing personified as a little white Pegasus trying to pull him towards the door
“Nuu, hu hu, don’t m-bass us in front of pretty human mar”.
This all played in his mind while a few seconds passed. As luck would have it an ad played that saved him and his Fluffy delusion
“Did you know, at fluff mart, we are hiring, do you want to join our herd”, A fatherly voice said. “Just ask in store or apply online today.- Fluff mart, where fluffys are hugs and love”
“That”, Rory stammered
“What?” the woman said raising an eye
Shit, he might just freeze up again.
“The ad, I’m here for an interview, for a job, maybe” his smile was genuine, genuinely cringeworthy.
“Her expression changes, “right, I’ll get the manager for you, what’s your name”
“Rory”
“Please wait one moment Rory”
Before he could respond. She briskly walked down the main isle.
“What…is your n……” Rory sighed to quiet to be heard by anyone.
He sucked in his gut, he would not be distracted by a pretty face, even if first impressions were bad, he can ,and will Salvage this.
Rory was into fluffies for years, like any new toy or app, Europe got it later than the Americas. But he was an expert, a savant, he was the fluffy whisperer…. Even tho, he never had one, or interacted with one, or even seen one up close. But with his level of fluffy knowledge , he was a shoe in. His head grew several cap sizes as he looked back in the direction of where the woman went. Ego fairly polished. He saw as she brought back the manager, a tall man with orange hair and beard, Not ginger, just orange, typical Irish. He stood a good head and shoulders over them both
Mr. Shepherds, thank you for coming in today. The man offered him his hand and Rory took it a bit too enthusiastically. “Good to be here Sir, Hoping to make a good first impression”.
The man smiled, “well a firm handshake and manners is good to hear, let us speak in the office”.
Rory Nodded and followed the taller gentlemen to the end of the shop, passing by glass displays of fluffies. first was an open pen of a multitude of colourful fluffies, a chorus of “hwllo nice Misda” giving Rory heart flutters.
The smell shifted to that of a barn smell, it is what Rory expected but he felt an atomic shock passing by a definitely worse smelling display.
younger fluffies, Colts and fillies divided by an opaque glass divider. they seemed to be around maturing age. 3 weeks or so. One or more each side reared up on their hind legs pressing their mushmallowy hoofs to the glass. “Be Nu Daddah” two or more said in unison… Suddenly something made them all fall back like multi coloured bowling pins. Looking behind him Rory saw the man giving a look of almost murderous intent
The knocked over fluffs did seem to bring a smile to the man’s face as he continued walking.
At the back wall where the door was to the employees section. Rory turned his head to see what looked like hamster cages that held micro Fluffies. His heart melted looking over them, he saw a spectrum of all bright colors, these mouse sized fluffs would only grow to be a hamster size Rory pondered. The same size as a regular fluffy baby. He noticed in the back corner a brown shape had wedged itself between the top left corner and the Litter box. It was a Brown Micro-fluff. He thought for a few seconds but quickly brushed this off.
Rory sped up his pace hoping not to be noticed, that he was lagging behind.
“You like Fluffies Lad”, the man said as he opened the door. They then both expected the other one to go first, one of many Micro-battles of politeness in Ireland. They exchanged looks but the manager then made a gracious sweeping “after you” gesture. One you would see in a stage performance or Disneyland.
“Thank you”, Rory said with a mumble as they both when inside and found another man sitting in a second chair waiting for his colleague and interviewee. While outside was pastel colours and Fluffie magic, there was a break room , office space and Fluffy medical center with very muted tones and paints. Following into the office he looked at the tall guys. Both men were between 5,10 and 6 feet, while so far if Rory was to join the team, he would be 5,5 a few inches shorter than the cashier woman. He first greeted.
“Take a seat and relax” The man said, his demeaner more jovial that he now has a colleague to share responsibility with.
Rory sat down and interlocked his fingers to keep from fidgeting.
The tall man spoke again. “I’m Mike this next to me is Conner and we would like to ask you a few questions as part of the process”
Rory Smiled, “of course, happy to be here Mr?” Rory trailing off hoping for an answer
“Mike is fine” he said fetching a clip board. “Now, do you like animals”.
Rory Nodded sharply. “Yes, I studied a year of animal care in the community college in the city center”.
“Did that Course have any fluffy specific modules”, conner asked as he scribed the conversation.
Rory nodded but then quickly shook his head “No, none of the courses I looked at in the county have a fluffy module, I think it’s due to the delay in classification” .
Mike quickly marking on the clip board, Rory did not know if that was a good sign.
Mike’s eyes looked up as he clicked his pen that must be hidden behind the clipboard.
“Could you expand on that in your own words”.
Rory quickly nodded
‘Fluffies were invented and prematurely released into America. Ever sense then a debate was had, if they deserve, the same rights and protections animals do, as they breed like mammals, but were created in a lab to serve as bio-toys.’
Rory glanced at Conner who kept scribing, he slowly continued.
“Like any American fad it soon made its way to Ireland and quickly expanded to wider Europe due to, dumping, unauthorized trade, and abandoning’s.
Currently the European union is Looking at legislation to classify them as animals, in all EU countries, but it has been halted in a stale mate…, for two years now”.
Waiting for a moment the Boss Mike re-clicked his pen.
“Do you keep animals yourself”, he asked in a more formal tone.
“Not right now”, Rory stated, I had a small farm back home, ducks, chickens, birds…. Dogs.” Rory said, his inflection changing on the last word. “My father became unwell so we sold off the livestock, just only now a field waiting to be used”. Rory’s tone wavering as Connor wrote notes he said not looking up. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s fine Rory sighed, “I was raised to care for any living thing, even if it is a bio-toy” Rory sighed his hopeful smile returning to him.
Not a moment past before Mike launched into the next questions “how to do you feel about discipline, we may have to do it out of the eye of the public, but a sorry stick is used all the same”
Rory quickly looked around the room a collection of photos of a recent opening, even an employee forced to wear an fluffy mascot costume with a cake but no real fluffies in the frame. Looking back to the interviewer Rory gave a his most professional response “I hand never handed a sorry stick, but I learn fast, and I know it is good for the fluffies to learn discipline, if not, bad behaving fluffies would make Fluff mart look bad.
Taking a few moments for Conner to catch up, Rory seemed to prefer to wait on answering questions until the scribe had caught up. A trait that earned a quizzical look from Mike.
He clicks his pen as he shifts in his seat before asking “Who would your loyalties lie, the customer or the fluffies”. Conner seemed to give a glance and scribed a much shorter statement.
“Neither” he says proudly, conviction in his tone “My true loyalitys relay with my work colleagues who have not only have to deal with fluffies all day, but also all types of customer, good or bad”.
“Thats taxing and I know to help out a fellow worker will give them some reprieve” Rory said with his best word smithing to only see Conner write maybe ⅓ of his answer.
Lightining round, mike said before clicking his pen
“What are your strengths”.
The interviewee answered :“I love fluffies and want them to go to a good home, I have been researching and learning about their care for years, even if, it wasn’t part of my Animal care course. I also have boundless optimism and if a customer speaks to me, they will know my passion is genuine”.
“Weakness’s?”
“If I can’t give good customer service it’s a blow to motivation, the best days are ones when the customers take your advice but I’m happy to settle for being forgotten in 30 seconds” .
“Are you prepared to clean up biowaste”.
“Yes, not much worse than a farm I’d say” Rory said with a bit of hope in his voice, the eyes of Mike flicked to him over the clipboard.
“If a customer, slips or falls, what do you do”.
“Help them up, get their details and file an accident report”.
“I don’t think I need to ask this, but do you have experience delivering animals, right”.
“Yes, cows, pigs, dogs, and more than once a horse” Rory answered, needing to add the horse bit.
“If you are unsure of something, what do you do”.
“Ask you or a more experienced employee”.
Mike smiled at the answer.
“Are you prepared to expire bad or unsavable fluffies” .
“Yes, Will I need training to use the incinerator”.
Mike shared a smile to conner, “Lad we don’t use an incinerator here, most fluff marts in the states might, but we use a grinder here.”.
“Rory tilted his head. “Euro thing?”
“He’s on the ball, this one” Conner laughed.
Mike smile quickly darkened “Are you an abuser”.
Rory almost fell with the sharp tone shift of how questions were asked, this now more serious.
“No, I have no Interest of disciplining a fluffy more than necessary, on or off time”.
“On time is all the matters lad” Mike said with a smirk between him and Conner.
Finally, “do you have any questions for us”, Conner said.
“Actually” Rory said cheerfully as he pulled out a list.
Both men’s faces dropped.
The interview ran over by 10 mins and Rory was told he would be contacted if selected. He thanked both Interviewers. And shaking both hands he walked to the employee entrance door. He spun around with new life that seemed to catch a glance form the two men. “You don’t mind, if i look around, see what I might want to get”
The men looked at him like he had a second head, “Sure…” one said awkwardly, and with that Rory walked back into the colorful halls of fluff mart.